The Curriculum of You - By Gavin Harrison

Written By: Gavin Harrison

Category: Poetry

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Gavin Harrison presents "The Curriculum of You," an evocative piece of poetry submitted to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. In this profound work, Harrison delves into the dynamics of love, learning, and the intricacies of personal growth. The poem's narrative unfolds with an elegant complexity, exploring themes of self-awareness and the unspoken lessons taught and learned in relationships.

About the Work

"The Curriculum of You" by Gavin Harrison is a powerful exploration of emotional education within personal relationships. The poem weaves an intricate tapestry of themes, touching on concepts of love, manipulation, and self-discovery. Through vivid imagery and poignant language, Harrison crafts a narrative that invites readers to reflect on their own experiences of giving and receiving in the delicate dance of human connection.

The Curriculum of You

Original Submission by Gavin Harrison

Rectangle

The Curriculum of You

if you were a girl i could take you home to my parents,

and the phrase becomes verdict.

the conditional splits the air,

as if my body were an inconvenience,

as if your parents were the final authority on love.

i am the practice

you are allowed to dismantle.

the private syllabus:

how to say sorry without meaning it,

how to hold someone

to keep them warm

while you study

the outline for later use.

you take from me

like a student

who knows exams are optional,

learns tenderness as routine,

performs when required,

then leaves the prop behind.

you tell me i am instrumental;

i tell you i am integral.

you nod,

as if that answers anything.

i teach you the difference

between apology and absence,

how silence can be weapon

and refuge both,

how to name a bruise

without confessing to it,

to cradle what you’ve broken

as if that gesture

were enough

to erase the breaking.

i teach you how to pause before touching,

how to make hesitation look holy,

how to sound like you mean it

when you say i didn’t mean to.

you learn how to listen

long enough to appear kind,

to tilt your head just so,

to let sympathy bloom

in your eyes

without ever letting it reach your hands.

every gentle touch she praises

was practised here,

under low light and reluctance—

each movement rehearsed

until it looked like care.

every kindness she calls natural

was honed on the edge of my restraint,

each apology polished

on my exhaustion,

each sigh of yours

translated through my patience.

and still you call it growth,

as if the lesson

did not cost someone their softness.

you call it evolution.

i call it theft.

you take my unthanked labour

and wear it like character development.

i teach you how to look away.

how to lower your voice

when someone asks who i am.

how to laugh it off—

it wasn’t like that,

you’re overthinking,

it was complicated.

i teach you how to make me unsayable.

how to answer questions

with summaries instead of names,

how to compress a body

into a footnote,

a gesture,

a pause you move past quickly.

i teach you how to remember me

only in private,

how to keep me fluent

in your hands

but illiterate in your mouth.

how to let people assume

and never correct them.

how to accept their relief

as kindness.

how to survive

on their approval

while i become

a technicality.

eventually

you teach me too.

i begin to pre-edit myself,

soften my nouns,

round off the edges

before you have to,

speak as if memory were a courtesy

i should not abuse.

sometimes

i watch you forget me

in real time

and wonder

if this is what learning looks like

from the other side.

i am the echo

mistaken for proof,

the ghostwriter

of your better self,

the test run

for your public affection.

you will marry the quiet

you rehearsed on my mouth

and tell her she taught you

how to stay.

you will teach her

without ever naming the source.

you will say

this is just how i am,

and she will rearrange herself

to fit the sentence.

she will learn

which versions of you are rewarded,

which questions bruise,

which silences mean

try again.

she will look to your face

the way you once watched mine—

not for love,

but for confirmation

that she has passed.

she will mistake your ease

for safety,

your fluency for care.

and when she senses absence,

she will correct herself

before correcting you.

she will call it intuition.

you will call it compatibility.

and neither of you will notice

that the rubric

was written

long before she arrived.

she will not know

she is being measured.

but you will.

you will search her face

for the particular patience

you mistook for devotion.

you will wait

for the way i held your fear

without naming it.

you will listen

for the silence that did not expose you.

and when it does not arrive,

when she asks plainly,

when she does not shrink

to make room for your hesitation,

you will feel something close

to loss.

not for me—

but for the version of yourself

that survived

by my discretion.

you will invent your exit story:

fear, timing, confusion,

the shape of my pronouns—

easier to say you were confused

than admit you were afraid.

but the truth is smaller and uglier:

you liked what i made you feel about yourself,

not what i was.

my composure was never mercy.

it was maintenance.

silence wasn’t grace,

it was repetition—

the thing you learned

to rely on

because it kept you unexposed.

you mistook my endurance

for availability,

my staying

for consent to keep taking.

i stopped correcting you

long before you noticed.

that was the moment

you became confident

you were improving.

do you still remember practising on me—

the angles,

the pressure,

the way my breath betrayed me

before i could?

do you recognise

the words in your mouth

as mine,

rehearsed until they sounded

like instinct?

do you know

that every confident movement

she trusts

was stabilised

on my restraint?

and when she screams your name

because your tongue is the best she’s ever had,

do you hear mine in the echo,

my voice rattling behind the curtains of your memory,

the one you learned to obey without protest,

the one that trained you

in the vocabulary of want

so you could give it elsewhere

without ever acknowledging the teacher?

and i wonder if, as you pull her

into every precise, practised motion,

you ever feel the residue of my patience,

the ghost of my consent that was never granted,

the shadow of my body,

measured, tested, stretched

so that you could be perfected elsewhere.

and i wonder if the lessons i endured

ever pierce through your oblivion,

or if they’ve been smoothed down into nothing,

so that only she receives

the polished, effortless performance

that once broke me in secret.

so when you carry your perfected love

into the daylight,

remember where you learned the script.

remember who steadied your shaking hands,

who bore the cost of your rehearsal.

your devotion was drafted

in my exhaustion,

your decency stitched together

from my restraint.

this is not forgiveness,

and it is not grief.

it is the academic transcript

of a body that remembers

what it gave, and to whom.

you will go on calling it growth.

i will go on calling it mine.

you will not know

that what you miss

was the courage

i supplied for you.

and when she closes her eyes,

i am the shadow

she cannot name,

the echo in the hollow of her pleasure.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, hosted by Hashtag Kalakar, is a prestigious event celebrating the diversity and richness of literary expression. This competition provides a platform for writers to showcase their talent and share their unique voices with the world. Participants from various backgrounds engage in this celebration of poetry and creative writing, contributing to a vibrant tapestry of literary art.

We extend our heartfelt appreciation to Gavin Harrison for sharing "The Curriculum of You" with us in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This compelling poem offers a remarkable insight into the nuances of personal growth and emotional learning. Thank you, Gavin, for your contribution to this global celebration of poetic expression.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.