Empty Smiles And Promising Smirks

By Jess Doshi

My mom said I walked into this world

with reading and poetry etched into

my little soul. Cinderella’s kindness

and the Mad Hatter’s craziness,

Adele’s voice and Taylor Swift’s world

all fleshed into one. Feeding puppies and

cuddling cats, trying to convince my parents

to let me build a home for just one. Entering school

with homemade lunch boxes for I hated

asking for money of any sort. Nerdy brown glasses

and baggy clothes to hide behind,

hoping my dark circles and stomach fat

will never show through. Cutting pictures

from magazines and newspapers of

expensive skin care products and

makeup inspo. Between the hate and sorrow,

I was glad to find someone I loved. But

that is when the tears flowed more freely

and no one was there to wipe them away

for the guy who was supposed to, was

the one that sparked it. He told me he liked

girls who wore small bikinis and red lipstick.

Baggy clothes turned into tight fit dresses,

my skin seeping through it all. I stumbled into

overnight bars wearing trendy clothes and

pouty lips that were ready to kiss anyone.

Little did they know about the things I did when I

was all alone. Jane Austen in my

hands with Stabilo highlighters in the other,

I sat and wrote about every stone unturned.

I hid behind this strong facade, hoping

“Fake it till you make it” actually worked.

That was until a stranger came up and said

I looked like whiskey and feminist novels

together, all set. So, I scolded myself for

letting them get to me with their low rise jeans

and Johnny Walker bars. I tied my hair

Into the fanciest bun and put on the

cutest dress I owned, sat down on

The badly tiled floor and beckoned to God

to let the people I read come out. For

Cinderella wasn’t perfect, she fell in love

with a man who couldn’t recognise her

and Belle was stupid for going close

to the beast who was all alone. 21st century

hasn’t been all that kind to me

but I can tell you for sure

that you shouldn't believe in

their empty smiles and promising smirks.

By Jess Doshi