60 Years - By Angela Encarnacion

Written By: Angela Encarnacion

Category: Essay

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Angela Encarnacion presents "60 Years," a captivating essay featured in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Through a reflective letter, Angela addresses her future self, exploring the themes of growth, dreams, and the passage of time. This introspective piece invites readers to ponder their own life experiences and aspirations, making it a profound addition to the competition's diverse array of creative works.

About the Work

In "60 Years," Angela crafts an intimate narrative that delves into the complexities of life as she converses with her future self. The essay is imbued with nostalgia and hope, painting vivid imagery of past milestones and future aspirations. Angela’s eloquent prose captures the essence of personal growth and the evolving nature of dreams, leaving readers with a resonant exploration of identity and fulfillment.

60 Years

Original Submission by Angela Encarnacion

Dear My 60 Year old Self,

You made it to 60! What is it like being a 60-year-old Millennial in the world today? How is your marriage? Was it everything you imagined it to be? Do you have grandchildren already? How are the beautiful kids Alie and Nino? I am so curious on how they turned out. I hope we did a good job raising them well. I truly hope too that life turned out grander that what I had planned in our younger years. Oh how I planned! I planned and worried. I hope you can genuinely say you are happy, content and most of all, that you finally summoned the courage to go for your dreams. I know that I have always said that my dream was to make my children’s dreams come true, but perhaps you will also tell me it was still possible to throw in my own personal hopes in the process.

There are so many things I wish to ask and say, but first and foremost, I want to tell you that I turned 40 today! I don’t believe it because I feel as young as ever. I am a kid at heart, you know that. As a kid growing up in the 90s, I used to think being 40 was old, and yet that doesn’t seem the case at all with me, or among most people in my generation!

Sometimes I like to look back because it gives me semblance of how I turned out to be. Do you remember when I turned 18? I was of legal age, but it didn’t feel like a big step back then. In terms of allowable drinking age, such a law does not really exist in the Philippines. I know many kids who had their first alcoholic drink unsupervised at age 10, myself included, but hey, we still turned into responsible adults! I celebrated my entry into adulthood by ironically having a Disney party at the now defunct Bora Bar. To make sure everyone came in costume, I even assigned my closest friends, my barkada, to come in assigned Disney Characters picked out by yours truly. It was pure genius if I say so myself. By the end of the night, there was a drunk, passed out Pocahontas on the couch, and a fight broke out between bikini-shell clad Ariel and her Prince Eric, who increasingly became more violent by the minute. If not for the seriousness of the situation, it was comically hilarious. Captain Hook with her DIY foil hook, Mulan and Tinkerbelle rushed to the scene to Ariel’s rescue. Little did I know as well, my future husband was also in attendance of the party, dressed humorously confident in baby blue short shorts and a yellow baby tee as Christopher Robin, together with Winnie the Pooh and the gang. Suffice to say, the party was a success!

However, the joy of turning 18 changed to fear, as I left the following month for the United States for college. It was an amazing opportunity, and I was really lucky that my parents worked hard to afford to send me to a good school abroad. I know I should have been excited, but I was more scared. It was the fear of the unknown and the fear of failure. I had lived in Manila my whole life, and it would be my first time on my own in a new country. My mom flew with me to the U.S. and helped me get settled. I still remember her last day before flying back to Manila. She gave me a big hug and said goodbye. I held back the tears because I wanted to look tough, like I got it, but the truth was, I was terrified. I watched her outside from my dorm window as she got into the car and drove off to the airport. I remember thinking as my heart sank to my feet, okay, here it goes.

My freshman year in an American liberal arts college was my real introduction to the adult world. Unlike Asian communities, people tend to help one another. In the U.S., it felt like you and only you depended on yourself. Do you still remember our tiny single dorm room, with the big glass window and drapes? Our room was a typical college dorm room where almost everything came from Target and looked DIY. Do you still remember the countless nights when I cried alone in my room? I got homesick a lot and often wondered what people back home were up to. I’m sure they missed me too, but it was also sad to accept that life moved on without me. Back then in 2004, smart phones were not yet invented, so I would have to buy expensive phone cards just to call long distance. The cheapest way to keep in touch was email or through Yahoo messenger. I got a job on campus in the cafeteria for extra cash to fund my phone card purchases, among other things.

There were also many instances of culture shock and confusion. Back then, people were already choosing their pronouns and asking to be addressed as he, she, it or they. I had to be careful as not to offend anyone, or for them to deem me the ignorant international student from the Philippines. It was not like I never had friends in the LGBTQ spectrum back home; it was just that everyone was really in your face about everything. I still also remember the first time I saw a dental dam dispenser in our communal dorm bathroom. I had no idea what it was for until an American classmate told me it was for hygienic purposes during oral sexual circumstances. You can just imagine my consternation. I also still remember my first winter. Coming from a tropical country where the coldest weather still allows one to dress in shorts, I was not prepared for this kind of cold. I remember walking back dressed only in leggings and a light jacket, to my dorm room coming from a tennis session, and the temperature suddenly dropped. I felt the deep chills piercing my whole body. I returned to my room with a fever. I had to miss several classes due to my fever the following week, and it stressed me knowing I would have to catch up a lot.

Fortunately, I had already made some friends, and there were times that they would bring food and medicine up to my room until I got better. I borrowed a friend’s winter jacket to buy my own, a proper one. From then on, I made sure to always be prepared for weather changes and never to get that sick again. I was always properly bundled up for all winters. I also still remember the wild parties on campus. It was like watching those American teeny bopper movies back home, except it was happening in real life.

The rigor of college life kept me busy, and eventually, I didn’t have time to regularly keep in touch with friends from back home. It was around this time that I can say was the beginning of the acceptance of my new life. I started to understand and embrace the world. I would describe the rest of my college years in the U.S. is to say it was a series of learning new things and unlearning old ways.

Pretty soon, I cracked through my shell, and day by day I got used to the American way. I toughened up. Something I also noticed and was happy to observe, was that as it turns out, non-Americans were equally intelligent as their American counterparts after all. Maybe it was the colonial mentality engrained in me to think that myself or Third world citizens like us brown Filipinos could not compete. However, by each passing day, I would notice that Americans speak with a lot of confidence, but when you really listen to what they had to say, it was all pretty basic things. I learned that if you want to be heard, you must speak confidently.

During my first two years in college, I got very interested in learning Japanese although it wasn’t my intention initially. I originally wanted to learn Spanish as my foreign language, but the schedule did not fit in well my current schedule, so partly as default and partly out of curiosity, I chose Japanese as my foreign language. As it turned out, I fell in love with the language and culture. I loved learning to write and read Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. After my sophomore year, I knew that I wanted another change in scenery, but it had to only be in Japan. I applied, and was accepted to a one-year program in Tokyo, Japan for my junior year. Looking back, I had come so far from that nervous girl in my freshman year to this fearless person attempting to conquer Tokyo. Who was I? I was proud. I had it in me all along perhaps.

I’m sure you never have forgotten about that life changing time in Tokyo. In Tokyo, I lived in a nice neighborhood with a single Japanese host mother and her two little boys who were only 9 and 6 six years old at the time. They were so cute and fun, always playing some Japanese game or toy with me. None of them spoke English, except for a practiced, Hello, nice to meet you, so it forced me to step up my Japanese speaking game. Before there was Google translate, I regularly carried around a soft-bound Japanese-English dictionary in my bag. We lived only 15 minutes away by foot from the train station. I still remember my daily walking route. It just felt liberating to get anywhere by walking or going by train and not having to ride a car. Needless to say, the full year in Tokyo further opened my eyes about the world. During the day, I joined various school clubs, and by night, my friends and I went about galavanting about the crazy streets of Tokyo. It was amazing, and one of the best times of my young life. At some point, I had become fluent enough in Japanese to converse with Japanese locals. I could even speak to Chinese students who could speak either Japanese or Chinese only. Our language of communication was through Japanese. Once when my parents visited, I took them around, and I remember how proud I felt that they were impressed with my ease at speaking Japanese. I could now say I spoke three languages: Tagalog, English and Japanese.

I finished my senior year back in the U.S, and when I finally graduated from college, I felt that deep sense of pride in my heart not just of what I had accomplished academically, but that I had done it. I came close so many times to giving up and returning home to Manila, but I powered through and came out a better and more resilient person on the other side. I was happy too that I made my parents proud. Their hard-earned Pesos were not wasted on me.

After college, I still wasn’t through with the United States. I lived one more year in New York City doing paid internships in the hope it would translate into a real full-time job. Unfortunately, no company could sponsor me, and I had to return home.

The good thing about coming home to a place like the Philippines, though was that although a lot of things have changed, it seems like nothing has changed at the same time. I initially missed my life abroad, but as the years went by, I began to feel at home again in my original home. Some of my friends stayed in Manila; some left; some left and came back. Do you still remember our Roaring twenties? It was an era of debauchery. It was definitely a time of my life that I went out and partied a lot. I don’t know where all the energy came from, but there were times I’d get home at 4:00am, take a power nap, shower, and then off I was to the office. It was a crazy time indeed. I don’t know how myself or friends did it. We were truly the epitome of the Millennial generation that personified the party and drinking culture.

As I approached my 30th birthday, while I still went out and drank, many friends were already married, had children and were settling down. I began to slowly tire of the party life, and as cliché as it sounds, I too wanted one day find love and have my own family. However, I thought to myself, how could this happen. I have been single, having wasted my time in an overstayed and toxic relationship. I didn’t what else to do but pray. I prayed constantly that one day, sooner than later, I would marry the man of my dreams and that we would have multiple wonderful children. I guess God truly listens.

One day, a friend and I went to the famous Quiapo Church to offer prayers for our personal intentions. Three days later, it was a random Wednesday night, and I went to a bar with some friends. Mr. Christopher Robin who attended my 18th birthday party years ago was there too with other friends, and I can say, the rest was history. For my 30th birthday, I threw a beach party in a rented house in Tali and made sure that Christopher Robin came by. It was beer, booze and complete mayhem surrounded by friends and siblings. When the clock struck midnight, everyone sang Happy Birthday while I danced to Levels by Avicii. What an amazing night. After several previous toxic years prior, in that very moment, I now felt at peace. I remember even telling a friend that I was ready to die because of how tremendously at peace I felt. I meant it back then, but of my friend of course told me not to think that way. She was right. There was more to come. Little did I know in that in a few months, I would be pregnant, and a few months after, I would be married.

If my 20s were about navigating life, love, relationships, career and identity, my 30s were all about marriage, family and raising my kids. Stark contrast, but the former had to happen to reach the latter. Do you still remember your wedding day and the days when Alie and Nino were born? Dreams do come true. I’m glad I didn’t give up on them.

Ten years later, here we are. I wake up to my 40th birthday. Thank you for listening to me make sense of my past. It feels that I have come a long way, but at the same time, where did the time go? I know I have become a wizened woman. I can say with all confidence, it its true – with age comes wisdom and maturity. After four decades of all kinds of experiences, I know myself better and feel more comfortable and confident in our own skin. However, this brings me to ask you still – why is it that I still have those days when I feel lost, confused, insecure and worried? In aspects of career, family, raising kids, self- doubt still persists. I hope you will tell me not to worry, that my 60th self turned out far better than what I had imagined, that the seeds I planted bore fruit twenty years later. I hope you will tell me that husband Mark a.k.a Mr. Christopher Robin and I continue our beautiful marriage, and that our children in fact, reached their dreams because of the sacrifices we made. I hope you will tell me that the tears I cried during hard times were not in vain.

I hope you will also tell me that despite the passing of time, that Disney-loving kid at heart, that brave and curious student of the world and that life of the party girl did not entirely fade into dust. She just evolved and faced the world as she is. I hope you will tell me that you are proud that I kept on going even when it felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Lastly, I hope you tell me that we will never have the answers to everything, and sometimes we just got to wing it as we go, to trust the process.

🙏🏻

Yours Truly,

Angela, 40 years

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar is a prestigious platform celebrating creative expression worldwide. Encouraging diverse voices, the competition showcases the talents of writers and poets, fostering a vibrant community of artistic exploration. Participants share their unique perspectives, contributing to an enriching tapestry of global storytelling.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Angela Encarnacion for sharing her poignant essay, "60 Years," with us. Her participation in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 adds depth to the event's offerings. We hope her reflective journey inspires others to explore their own narratives with courage and creativity. Thank you, Angela, for your contribution.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.