Without You - By Sharon Fen

Written By: Sharon Fen

Category: Short Story

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Participating in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, Sharon Fen offers a deeply emotional short story titled "Without You." This narrative explores the heart-wrenching themes of love, loss, and the profound impact of absence. With an evocative style, Sharon captures the vulnerability and raw emotions of a protagonist navigating the tumultuous journey of grief. The story resonates on a deeply personal level, inviting readers into an intimate exploration of memory and the lasting impressions of loved ones.

About the Work

"Without You" delves into the fragile human experience of enduring loss and cherishing memories. The story's emotional depth is conveyed through vivid imagery and introspective reflections. Sharon Fen's narrative style artfully blends tenderness with a haunting sense of absence, portraying the protagonist's internal struggles. The reader is drawn into a world where the past and present intertwine, creating a poignant tapestry of remembrance and longing.

Without You

Original Submission by Sharon Fen

I remember my heart skipping a beat.

I remember it hurt.

I remember screaming and shouting and crying.

I remember choking on words I couldn’t fathom.

I remember calling out your name, asking you to stay.

I remember that every time I broke down, you were there, holding me in your arms, wiping my tears away.

I remember you telling me that everything’s gonna be alright.

I remember your sweet smile, something that can light up my day.

I remember you holding my hands, telling me you’ll never let go.

I remember your gentle kisses, telling me just how much you love me.

I remember, I remember, I remember so much that I don’t forget. I don’t forget your beautiful face, I don’t forget every word you’ve said to me, I don’t forget the dreams and the plans we've made for two, I don't forget everything you are.

But I don’t remember you being there for me this time. The lowest point of my life, the biggest fear of mine, the only thing I think I might not be able to overcome.

You weren’t there.

My feet carried me away the instant I got the phone call. I wasn’t thinking straight, my mind went blank, my body went numb.

I lost count of how many times I almost got killed on the street, I couldn’t hear all the curses and roars from the angry drivers. I didn’t care.

Hospitals had a weird smell of medicine and fear, hope was merely an existence. I rushed through the lobby and to the front desk, yet my tongue came to a loss of words. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t say the words out loud because I was afraid I might break down the moment I do, the moment I admit the truth.

“Can I help you?” The nurse behind the desk asked me, her hands hanging in the air, fingers right above the keyboards.

It took me a while to put together what I had to say. Sounds kind of strange, but sometimes alphabets are very tricky.

“Robby, Robert. Robert Fallon.” I spitted out, word by word, “Can I know where he is right now?”

“One second, miss.” Her eyes darted back to the computer screen, the sound of typing mixed with the rest of the noises in the hospital in harmony. My heart thrummed so fast underneath my chest that I was afraid it might jump out right onto the desk. Then I could really use a doctor, I was in a hospital anyways.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find someone currently in the hospital with that name, however, there was this young boy who registered with the name Robert earlier. He’s in the emergency room right now. First floor, T-15.”

I started running again before she could finish her sentence, before I even had the chance to say thank you.

I couldn’t enter the room. What was I thinking? Of course they wouldn’t let me in when someone is being operated on inside.

I froze in front of the firmly closed door. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what was worse, being a thousand miles away, not knowing what was happening, or being shut outside, knowing I could do nothing to help. The woman on the phone told me that Robby saved a little boy from being knocked down by a car. The driver called the ambulance right away, and the first-aid group found a piece of paper with my number on it in his pocket. It was a very heroic move of him, said she.

I couldn’t help but imagine that scene in my mind. A little boy on the busy street, attempting to catch a balloon, or maybe a butterfly. The mother was nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden, came a speeding car too fast to slow down. And a big boy with a heart full of responsibility. Boom. That was how the story ended.

Very heroic indeed.

Of course I still remember the piece of paper, the first time we met, the first time the story of us began, the first time he ever saw me cry. Everything has always been bittersweet for us, only it was sweet outweighing bitter then, and bitter outweighing sweet now.

I let my nerves numb my body, I allowed it to. Despite the many times I played it in my head, I still couldn’t get myself to accept everything that had happened. Nonetheless, I could feel my walls tumbling down, the walls I’d built to hide my weaknesses, to pretend to look strong, while my biggest weakness lay buried behind the cold hospital door.

In the busy corridors, a broken girl lost control of herself. Had it not been for the absence of her support, she would’ve made it through. But he wasn’t here, not during her weakest hours.

I smashed my fist onto the cold hard wall, so harshly I could almost smell blood. Someone screamed out the name of my rescue, then I realized the person was actually me. In a split second, the entire world lost its meaning. Everything was getting loose in my hands, spinning out of control, leaving the lost girl in the midst of the mess she cannot fathom. Tears streamed down my cheeks like a flood that cannot be stopped, my mouth shouting and screaming until it became too sore to create anymore sound. My whole body started to shake, my nervous system crumbling down.

Do I have to lose you too?

They sent me to the cafeteria after my mental breakdown right outside the operation room. Doctors could be affected by the sounds outside, they said, it’s better if the environment is as quiet as possible. You can wait elsewhere in the hospital, the operation wouldn’t take long.

It had been eight hours since I broke into the hospital door like a psycho, and I had three cups of tribal Americano, still I was pretty sure what stimulated me wasn’t the caffeine inside. It felt like an empty nothingness in my mind, yet I still couldn’t stop thinking, about everything, about anything.

I wish it had been me. Were I there by the sidewalk that day, I knew I wouldn’t be brave enough to rescue the boy. Were I there by the sidewalk that day, I knew I would just stand there and watch everything happen. Were I there by the sidewalk that day, I knew I would stay, and so would he, and we would both be alive. Were I there by the sidewalk that day, I wouldn’t be here stirring the empty coffee cup, and neither would he.

***

“I’m not going to the funeral.”

“He’d be counting on you.”

“He’s dead.” I spat. The moment of silence and truce seemed like some kind of a victory to me, yet nothing has ever repelled me more.

“He would’ve been here for you.” Mary slowly found a seat on my bed, chewing over every chosen word, “I guess he wouldn’t be thrilled to know his girlfriend refused to attend his funeral.”

“No, I bet he’d be extremely glad to hear about his death, he-”

“Sandra.” All of a sudden Mary grasped hold of my arm, “Pull yourself together. You think anyone’s happy about this? Nobody would want to see Robby dead. You can at least show some respect to him, for god’s sake, you’re his girlfriend.”

“Were.” I shook away her grip, “and we hated that word.”

Out of the breath-taking air Mary let out a sigh, after seconds which seemed like an infinity she left the room, “We’ll save some time for you on the schedule, in case you change your mind.”

Tears sprung out of my eyes like a bloody fountain, after three days of mental breakdown I’d suppose it;d be impossible for a human being to cry another drop. Still there I was, huddling up in the corner of my bedroom, sobbing like an infant.

In this very bedroom, Robby had climbed up from the widows to talk to me over millions of unforgettable nights. We’d go to the rooftop to watch the sunrise if it hit dawn, sometimes he’d even take me to the beach with a few bottles of alcohol. Not too much, merely adequate. That would also be perfect to describe our relationship. Before we met, we were just two insecure teenagers. One was afraid to love, and one was afraid to live. Nonetheless, one taught the other to open up, and one taught the other to look forward. It was hard to shatter that broken smile, whereas nothing had been more delicate to protect whatever was left.

Mary was right. Robby would be beyond disappointed if I just hid away in my room forever, especially if I make an absence in his final chapter in this world. Ironically speaking, I also knew he’d hate it as much as I did.

Must I lose you in such a brutal way?

It’s a miracle what a human being is capable of doing under extreme circumstances. It could be how grief pushes us to answer certain actions, or it could simply be the low expectations set for one when depression and frustration hits.

Without any explanation, I managed to sneak into my car at 2:40 a.m. without anyone’s notice and drove away from the house, as I had done a million times over with Robby. And of course, with his favorite cocktail in hand. I told myself I was merely trying to get away from everything that was happening, yet deep down I still knew I was trying to pretend to have sensed his presence somewhere in the car, or on the road, or by the beach. Anywhere outside a bloody stone cold coffin.

I couldn’t even remember if I had argued with anyone about burying him. I knew Robby would have hated that, living under the surface, being stepped on by everyone he once knew, only befriending with no one but ants and some other insects, who might even take an interest in consuming his body if not for the coffin keeping them out. He ought to be burnt, and his ashes thrown into the ocean, where he truly belonged. I could still recall that day when I paid a visit to his place, when Mary and their mother had spent hours and hours telling me how much he loved the sea. I could still recall that day when he first took me to the beach in daylight, he showed me how to get along with the waves so that it wouldn’t destroy my body position and I could stand perfectly still unaffected. I could still remember how he taught me how to surf, blend in the waters and how to swim although we both knew it wasn’t the waters that had caught my attention. Something peculiar made me feel glad that he didn’t die of drowning. I wasn’t sure if that was a good feeling.

***

*flashback*

“When exactly does the sun rise again?” I slid my fingers into my pocket trying to reach for my phone, meanwhile making strong attempts to avoid being caught by the boy next to me.

“Sorry, miss. Cellphones are strictly prohibited on such occasions,” Robby said in such a funny tone that made it impossible not to laugh, “unless you prefer to see yourself elsewhere at the moment-”

“Nope.” I raised both hands in the air as a sign of surrender, “You promised me a sunrise, thus a sunrise will we witness.”

“Fantastic.” He responded with a giant smirk, “I hope today’s sunrise is extraordinarily stunning.”

We shared the same smile.

“Well, either way. I’m 100 percent certain tonight’s stars are extraordinarily stunning.” I turned my gaze upon the horizon, drunk by the beauty the blue had to offer.

“Well, either way.” Robby said, “I have already found myself a constellation in another’s eyes more extraordinarily stunning than the sky above.”

I flipped my head around in shock, heart missing a beat. Robby’s face was just within reach. I was pretty sure had any of us moved an inch, our skin would have made direct contact. Amid his ocean blue eyes, I thought I saw something tangible enough for anyone to break. His eyebrow raised a bit, as if asking for some kind of permission. Blood soon spread across my cheeks, making all my unspeakable senses more obvious than ever.

“Robby.” I breathed.

“I’ve never dared imagine I could ever encounter someone like you in my life.” He spoke, his breath panting against my face, creating a haze I had already allowed myself to get lost in.

“We’ve only known each other for weeks.”

“I don’t care.” He whispered, “You have become the reason why I get up every morning and the reason why I have trouble falling asleep every single night.

“You have become the reason why I want to live for just another day.”

“Please.” I shut my eyes with tears dancing around my eyelids, “I can't.”

“Shhh.” With gentle hushes Robby slowly placed my trembling body in between his arms, his voice lingering around my ears, “I’m sorry if I scared you. But I promise I will never push you to do anything unless you are ready.”

Something smelt like the scent of home around his shoulders. Dawn settled some warmth in my chest, painting everything within my sight golden. Somehow the tears pouring out from my eyes didn’t feel like weakness anymore. I wrapped my arms around the skinny boy right in front of me, holding tightly onto a firm ground I finally felt steady upon. Our heavy breaths kept adding weight to each other’s backs, while releasing us of all burdens. I let loose all my sensations I have feared for my entire life. At last, I felt like I had made an actual connection with another person.

I promise I will never push you to do anything unless you are ready.

His voice kept echoing in the air around us, making us a promise none of us would ever know.

But I was never ready to lose you this way.

Watching the sunrise on your own, drinking alcohol and trying to sense our dead boyfriend’s presence was the worst idea in human history.

I scrolled through my phone screen from time to time, making sure the sun would not rise until another two hours later. I arrived on the beach a lot earlier than Robby and I usually would, and my sleeping disorder was to blame. The constellation bore me, which made me strongly doubt my decision about watching the sunrise. With Robby’s absence, everything left in the world seemed colorless.

I took another sip of the cocktail. Robby was absolutely obsessed with Sangría wine mixed with a little extra vodka, but due to my lack of interest in alcohol, he never added too much. I wondered if this was what he used to do before he met me, the loneliness was already making me suffocate.

“The best is always saved for those with patience.” He always said that when I was losing patience, convincing me to wait just for a little longer. However, I had always been the one to swoon for the stars, and he had always been the one to wait for the sun.

I made the decision of departure before the sun even made it to the sea level, figured the warmth would fail to find shelter in me anyways. Once again, like it had always been before, Robby found his way into my life, my fantasy devastated on its own behalf. Unfortunately, my life would never return to what it used to be anymore.

I didn’t even know how to tell him that I really, really missed him.

I got into the car and chose to drive around the town instead of taking the shorter route that led directly to home. I drove for circles and circles, until it finally hit dawn. I parked my car by the beach again, wine in hand. Without hesitation, I walked straight into the ocean, letting the waves strike me like the rocks ashore. The salt slapped me right in the cheeks, mingling ocean water and my teardrops into one. My body stood stiffly like a lighthouse guiding sailboats back to the harbor, too sad there were no more boats for me to guide home. My feet led me deeper and deeper into the water. Someone at the back of my mind kept yelling at me, telling me to stop going any further. Despite everything, I only heard one voice.

Somehow I got back to the shore, I wasn’t entirely sure whether to call it a miracle or a nightmare. Lying on the beach, I wept until the sun burned away the very last drop of water inside me. I got back inside the car, having no clue for yet another destination.

If only Robby were here. He’d be telling me another joke, easing us from the tension. He would make us two paper masks for us to hide inside. We would escape into another world even just for a few hours. I knew trouble never really went away by avoiding it, yet things were always better when Robby was near.

I wandered around the side of town where we used to hang out, the cinema we always went to whenever we felt like watching a classic movie, the garden we always visited when we felt like taking a walk, the fast food store where we could get ice cream for just one dollar each. All of a sudden, all these memories came flashing back at me like a kaleidoscope of hearts. The first time we met, the first time he asked me out on a date, the first time we shared a conversation from dusk till dawn, the first time he took me to the beach, the first time we watched a heartbreaking movie and cried together, and the first time we kissed.

That was when a little girl popped up in the middle of the street out of nowhere. Before I even had time to recognize the whole situation, my hands turned the steering wheel as sharply as I could. Forgotten to fasten the seat belt, my body flew out of the window, with that, my heart out of my chest.

Only under this unbelievable moment did I truly understand why Robby did what he did. Although nothing else seemed to make sense in the whole universe, a tiny piece of my heart finally found peace.

“You are an utter fool.”

That was the first sentence I woke up to.

“You think it was funny to get informed that both your brother and your best friend got into two car accidents within the same week?! Do you think this is some kind of a joke? Or do you feel like such a genius for playing the game between life and death? Or is this simply the way you mourn for Robby? How do you think he would react, huh? Do you think this would make him happy? Do you honestly feel that-”

“How’s the kid?” I choked.

Mary finally shut her mouth up, letting out a big sigh, then said, “She’d be fine. But that’s no excuse for your doing. Do you even have any idea how anxious I was? I almost had a panic attack in public!”

“Mary, I’m sorry.” I breathed.

After a silent pause, she replied, “Apology accepted. But no more risking lives, no more drunk driving, and no more intentional isolation.”

“I wasn’t drunk.” I argued.

“Promise?” She raised an eyebrow.

I sighed, “Promise.”

She let out a smile of relief.

“Was it over though? The funeral.” I asked.

“Well, we were waiting for you.” She pressed her lips into a thin line, “In case you didn’t make it, you know, I thought we could bury the two of you together.”

A laughter almost escaped my lips, “That would have been very romantic.”

***

Mary pushed me inside a wheelchair to the funeral. Turned out I had broken my leg, which might take me a few months to recover, yet also bought me a series of days off to adjust my emotions. Nevertheless, I still felt somewhat confident to say that my feelings had moved a bit towards the right track now. Yes, I still missed Robby. Quite a lot, to be honest. And those moments of weakness still hit me on occasion, but I’ve learnt to handle some and endure some.

I asked Mary to schedule a speech for me at the funeral, mainly because people are counting on me. In addition, I still hoped he could hear every word I was about to say.

~~~

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. First of all I would like to thank all of you for your presence. Robby would be so thrilled to know this many people have attended his funeral. Although he had never been the most popular guy at school, with such a kind heart of his, I know a lot of people had treated him as friend.

Robby never asked for much. He probably wouldn’t even have asked for such a funeral. I knew for sure he wouldn’t want any of us to spend too much time mourning over him, he would have preferred people spending more time to remember the good side of him. As we all know, this was what happened when I was trying to miss him, when I was trying to find traces of him in my life. But the truth is, he lives inside me. He lives inside each of us. Not at the ice cream store, or in his room, or even at the beach. He is right here if we wish to speak to him. We merely had to reach out to him. For god’s sake, we all knew the Robby that lived, with that we all knew the Robby that lives within each of us. That kind, gentle, and delicate Robby. The Robby who has taught us how to live, how to laugh, and how to love. Our time would be wasted, his time would be wasted, if we learnt absolutely nothing from him.

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, hosted by Hashtag Kalakar, celebrates diverse voices in the realm of poetry and creative writing. This prestigious event invites participants from around the world to share their unique perspectives and literary talents. With a focus on storytelling and poetic expression, the competition serves as a platform for writers to engage with a global audience, fostering a community of creativity and inspiration.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Sharon Fen for her compelling entry, "Without You," in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Her story offers a touching exploration of love and loss, resonating deeply with readers. We appreciate Sharon's contribution and look forward to seeing more of her poignant work in the future.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.