The Hidden Addiction to Expectations - By Miss Surya Shekhawat

Written By: Miss Surya Shekhawat

Category: Essay

Competition: Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Miss Surya Shekhawat presents "The Hidden Addiction to Expectations," a compelling essay that delves into the intricate relationship between expectations and responsibility. This thought-provoking piece is part of the renowned Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar. Through her articulate exploration, Shekhawat invites readers to examine the nature of their expectations and the impact on personal and interpersonal dynamics. Her work challenges conventional views, urging a shift towards self-awareness and personal growth.

About the Work

In "The Hidden Addiction to Expectations," Miss Surya Shekhawat explores the subtle yet profound difference between responsibility and expectations. The essay's insightful discourse navigates the psychological terrain of dependency and self-awareness, encouraging readers to reflect on their own habits and conditioning. Through vivid imagery and candid introspection, Shekhawat underscores the transformative power of taking responsibility for one's own needs and emotions.

Hidden Addiction

Original Submission by Miss Surya Shekhawat

Image: Inner Universe by Surya Shekhawat | 2020

The Hidden Addiction to Expectations

Subtitle: Not every need deserves to become someone else’s responsibility.

Do expectations and responsibility mean the same thing? Most of the time, we don’t really know the difference.

Being responsible means focusing on what we can do, whereas expectations mean focusing on what others should do. Responsibility keeps our attention on what is within our control. Expectations come from the desire and hope that someone else will behave, respond, or act in a certain way. Responsibility is about taking ownership of our own actions, choices, emotions, and commitments.

Even after knowing the difference, do we truly understand it? More importantly, do we observe our own thoughts and actions?

Deep down, many of us would realize that we carry a long list of expectations-less from ourselves and more from others. Some expectations are reasonable and healthy, while others can make people feel suffocated, burdened, or emotionally responsible for our well-being. Yet we often disguise them as love, care, trust, or even responsibility.

Reasonable expectations are realistic. They are communicated clearly, respect another person’s limitations, and are based on understanding rather than assumptions.

Unhealthy expectations are different. They often come from a need for control, ownership, attention, validation, or dependency-things we may not always want to admit.

But why do we expect so much from others? Are we living with such a deep sense of lack that we seek most of what we need from someone else? Are we unwilling to accept ourselves, work on ourselves, and maintain our self-worth instead of seeking it from others?

There is no single answer.

Our conditioning plays a role. So does the environment we grow up and live in. Many of us are surviving rather than truly thriving. Most of the time we are only trying to survive the situations.

Sometimes we unknowingly start copying unhealthy ways of relating to people. Sometimes we keep feeding ourselves information that supports unrealistic expectations.

Over time, these habits become normal, and we stop seeing where they are leading us.

The cost of such expectations is often greater than we realize. They not only damage relationships but also slowly shape our behaviour, character, and inner world.

Over time, expectations can turn into disappointment and resentment. We may even become emotionally dependent on others or start feeling that they owe us something.

Eventually, they become part of who we are, making it difficult to justify our actions even to ourselves. Responsibility has its limits, but expectations are endless. So, they can drown anyone if we lose track of them even once.

Don’t you think, we should give some self introspection and deep thought. Or may be some of us have given a little thought but not enough to start working on it.

But have we ever cared enough to criticize our own thinking that we might be working with so much of emptiness inside that almost everything or most of we want comes from a feeling of lack, expecting a silver spoon to feed us? Are we hoping that someone else will do the emotional, mental, or even practical work required for us to feel whole? (Here silver spoon does not mean money wise wealth at all. Because money is not going to do your inner work. It might just pay for therapy and inner work classes, but not real self work.)

So, If this is not conditioning or unawareness, then why are we living such a beautiful life like a beggar-constantly seeking from others what we can work on within ourselves? Why do we expect emotional validation, material comfort, understanding, support, and even peace to arrive through someone else rather than through our own efforts and growth?

And if most of us are seeking so much from others, then who is willing to be the giver?

Who will provide all the understanding, support, patience, validation, and care that everyone seems to want? More importantly, why should they?

Why do we expect others to keep pouring into us all the time? And what happens when we are asked to become that giver? (It work both ways between any two individuals at every level)

Would we willingly provide everything we expect from others? Would we be available every time, fulfill every need, meet every expectation, and carry every burden?

If not, then why do we justify expecting it from someone else?

Have we ever reflected on that honestly?

Why can’t we take responsibility for fulfilling most of our own expectations, especially the unreasonable ones? Why drain another person emotionally in order to feel temporarily fulfilled?

At the same time, this does not mean abandoning our genuine responsibilities. The challenge is learning to distinguish between what is truly our responsibility and what is merely a conditioned expectation.

So how do we come out of this loop, this venomous habit?

Most problems that start within us can only be solved from within.

We need to become aware of our own patterns of expectation and take responsibility for addressing them. It is not another person’s responsibility to heal what we refuse to examine within ourselves.

Change becomes possible when we start looking within.

When we start looking at ourselves honestly, reflect on our thoughts and behaviour, and question our own patterns, we begin to free ourselves from conditioning, fear, selfishness, insecurity, and a lack of boundaries.

We also begin to understand what healthy and unhealthy expectations really mean, instead of justifying everything according to our own convenience.

The hidden addiction to expectations is not just about wanting too much from others. It is also about forgetting our responsibility towards ourselves. The more we expect others to fulfil our emotional, mental, and even material needs, the further we move away from our own power.

Perhaps a more beautiful world begins when each of us takes responsibility for what we seek, instead of expecting others to carry it for us.

The more we work on ourselves, the less we demand from others. And perhaps that is where true freedom begins.

Thanks for reading!

About the Competition

The Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar is a prestigious platform celebrating creativity and literary excellence. It invites writers from diverse backgrounds to express their unique voices and perspectives. This year's competition continues to showcase remarkable talent and thought-provoking works that resonate with readers globally.

We extend our heartfelt thanks to Miss Surya Shekhawat for her participation in the Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Her essay, "The Hidden Addiction to Expectations," offers valuable insights into the human condition and encourages a journey towards self-discovery. We appreciate her contribution to this distinguished event.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.