The Gamble

By Swatantra Khandelwal

Listen Khan I’ve always been in on this path but I’ve felt that this one isn't gonna make me what it can. It feels just like an inescapable trap to me. It just keeps on giving me the illusion of an amazing future but I doubt that if it’s gonna be like that for me.

(What makes you think that? After all you’ve been into this for over a year. Why now. Couldn’t you wait about a month more?)

To be honest I don’t think I can. There are various reasons for it. The first being it only feels now that I’ve really entered into this path or rather it feels that this is just the last and final warning that I get. I feel like if I don’t exit now. It won’t end with just a simple regret.

(What do mean to say? Just so you know that if you wanna say that there is something else that you feel like you really click with and feel like it can give you a nice and enjoyable life. Then forget about it. You’re not the first one to feel like it. I’ve heard others other than you say that often to find themselves regretting it till date or they just can’t settle on it. Either they just escape your so called illusion from their current situation and just find themselves caught up in another or they just keep on hopping on every stone they see in hope that they will one day break this illusion. So let me tell you this as your senior that you’re naïve. The illusion isn’t the beautiful future its showing you rather the feeling that you’re feeling now is the real illusion. You’ll just keep on going in that hopeless path if you continue. I’d rather say that given the odds from amongst the path that you’ve chosen and among the path that you’re on. The one that you are seems far more reliable and trustworthy. Well though the decision is yours to make id still try my best to not let you get on the wrong path.)

Seems like you’ve misunderstood something khan. Although I do appreciate your concern for me but what I’ve really wanted to do is not to pick that up but to give this up. I know that it doesn’t make much of a difference rather it might even make you feel like I might be the one who’ll just keep on hopping till the end. I admit that’s a sound argument and there’s really not much I can do to make you believe that I won’t do that. On the contrary I myself believe that I might have fallen into the cycle.

(Then that’s all the more reason to…..)

Listen to me first completely. You’re my best friend and the first one I’m talking about this thing. So I want you to remove all prejudices and then contemplate your thoughts. First of all I want you to know I’m not one of those that are fine with a less money as long as they get their dream profession. I’m not here to do things leisurely I’m here to make my life better and that’s only possible with money. So I wanna earn big. Secondly, if talking about giving up this and hopping on to a third thing is low if not zero. This isn’t just some baseless talk rather something that comes from how much I want my writing to acknowledged and I doubt that it’s just some shallow feeling. As for how I would feel for giving up after reaching here. I know it doesn’t really sound convincing but I am aware that it might leave some bitter feelings, after all its almost within my grasp and who knows what the future lies in wait for me. And the most dangerous part about my decision that coincidentally is also the most unconvincing part of my decision but I’d like you to know it “Its Interesting”.

By Swatantra Khandelwal