Real Men Die Easy - By Faraja Majaliwa

Written By: Faraja Majaliwa

Category: Essay

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

In the thought-provoking essay "Real Men Die Easy," Faraja Majaliwa delves into the societal expectations placed on men to endure pain silently, often at the cost of their health. This submission to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 offers a deep reflection on the theme of masculinity and the dangerous consequences of equating strength with enduring hardship without seeking help. Majaliwa's insights challenge the traditional narratives surrounding male resilience, urging a reevaluation of what it truly means to be strong.

About the Work

Faraja Majaliwa's essay is a poignant exploration of how societal norms shape male identity, particularly concerning health and endurance. It presents a sobering narrative that questions the glorification of silent suffering and highlights the dire consequences of neglecting one's health in the name of strength. The essay's insightful commentary and vivid imagery paint a compelling picture of the delicate balance between resilience and denial, ultimately advocating for a broader, more inclusive definition of courage.

Real Men Die Easy

Original Submission by Faraja Majaliwa

Real Men Die Easy

Faraja Majaliwa

We often praise men for enduring pain.

We call it strength when a man keeps working through illness, refuses to complain, and carries his responsibilities as though his body were not allowed to interrupt them. He provides. He persists. He says he is fine.

Sometimes that kind of strength kills him.

I learned this in an Internal Medicine ward while we tried to save a man in his late thirties. By the time he reached us, his body was already losing the battle. We resuscitated him, trying to hold him in the narrow space between life and death, but his condition had advanced beyond what determination alone could reverse.

What stayed with me afterward was not only that he died. It was how long he had spent proving that he could endure.

He had a history of peptic ulcer disease. During a prolonged field trip, while working to provide for his family, his health became secondary. His treatment was interrupted. Pain developed in the upper abdomen and grew worse. Instead of stopping, he continued.

There is a particular danger in pain that becomes familiar. At first it alarms you. Then, if you keep surviving it, it begins to feel negotiable. You postpone the clinic until tomorrow. You finish one more assignment. You tell yourself that people depend on you. You decide that rest can wait.

For many men, this decision is praised rather than questioned.

We raise boys with a vocabulary of endurance. Do not cry. Be strong. Take it like a man. A man should provide. A man should not complain. The lessons are not always spoken cruelly. Some are taught with love. Some come from fathers who survived difficult lives and want their sons to survive too. Some come from poverty, where missing a day of work has consequences. Some come from pride.

But a useful lesson can become dangerous when it teaches a man to ignore his own body.

By the time our patient finally sought help, the situation had changed completely. The ulcer had perforated. Infection had spread. He was septic and dangerously hypotensive. What might earlier have been a treatable illness had become an emergency measured in minutes.

Then the language of toughness became useless.

The body does not negotiate with masculinity. A perforation does not care how many people depend on you. Sepsis does not pause because you are the family provider. Shock does not respect your reputation for resilience.

That night, he died.

He left behind a young family who had depended on the very strength that had helped keep him away from care.

That contradiction has stayed with me.

Men are often told that strength means carrying pain quietly for the sake of other people. Yet the people we are trying to protect may ultimately pay the price for our silence. A father who ignores severe symptoms because his children need him may leave those children without a father. A husband who refuses care because his family cannot afford for him to stop working may create a loss far greater than the cost of one interrupted day.

This is not an argument for fear. Every headache does not require a hospital. Every ache is not catastrophe. Resilience matters. Human beings cannot live as though every symptom announces death.

But there is a difference between resilience and denial.

Resilience says, "This is difficult, but I will face it."

Denial says, "This cannot happen to me."

The first can save a life. The second can shorten one.

Perhaps we need to enlarge our definition of courage. There is courage in enduring hardship, certainly. But there is also courage in admitting that something is wrong. There is courage in asking for help before the body forces the question. There is courage in taking treatment faithfully, in attending a clinic, in telling a spouse, "I am not okay," and in allowing another person to care for you.

A man does not become less of a provider when he protects his health. He becomes more likely to remain one.

Whenever I remember that night, I think about the strange bargain some men make with death. We imagine that vulnerability makes us weak, so we hide it. We imagine that pain proves strength, so we tolerate it. We imagine that asking for help diminishes us, so we wait until help has very little time left to work.

And then everyone calls us strong at the funeral.

Real men die easy when we make dying easier than admitting we need help.

It does not have to be that way.

Sometimes the strongest thing a man can do is stop enduring, walk into a clinic, and say, "Please help me."

About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar is a renowned platform celebrating literary creativity and expression. It invites writers from around the world to showcase their talents in various categories, providing a space for voices to be heard and stories to be shared. This competition is part of Hashtag Kalakar's ongoing commitment to fostering a vibrant and diverse literary community.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Faraja Majaliwa for sharing the insightful essay "Real Men Die Easy" with us. Your participation in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 is deeply appreciated, and your work contributes to the important conversation on masculinity and health. Thank you for your powerful narrative and for challenging us to rethink our definitions of strength and courage.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.