Musings of a Child Within.

By Anwesha Singh

1. My parents stopped worrying about me,

They no longer ask how my day went and what I did,

They lost all hope and branded me as a lost cause,

I am amused that how my life decisions no longer interests them,

They no longer ask about my goals during the time we get into bed,

My parents stopped caring about me the way they used to did,

Talking with them no longer give the comfort it used to give,

My failed attempts finally showed them how I could never become the daughter they would have been so proud of,

Everytime they see me with those tired eyes,

I realise that how many dreams of theirs got killed along with mine,

My parents you can do this and their boring lectures ceased abruptly,

I wonder how much damage I caused intentionally,

My parents may have stopped loving me too our conversations became rare,

But sometimes only want my parents back who were proud of this stupid daughter of theirs…

2. Purpose I got to find ,

But does even my opinions count,

Such a laughing stock I became,

The decisions I thought were right turned out to be lame ,

Maybe they were right don’t think too big,

But now I know that I didn’t even thought anything big,

I just thought of it too much….

3. Better late than never is the dumbest advice,

What they know about the pieces I lost,

Starting over all again but I lost the cause,

I found myself empty in my head,

Failures finally took toll on my mental health, 

How could anyone say be positivein such a situation,

When I saw my dream breaking apart deprived of motion,

Slowly I want to take it all slowly,

Maybe I didn’t wanted this outcome,

But I am liking the way it makes my heart jump and run,

Why do they say you get to get over it  when I chose it stay,

Maybe I never wanted this but it became the past that I could never change,

I finally understood that the pain will take it’s time to heal,

Afterall we all need stories for our grandchildren during afternoon meals……

4. You will never know when something unexpected would happen,

Few will make sense and few will let your hopes shatter,

How abruptly life play awful jokes on us and how pretty sleek always amuses me,

Right now, the problem, the tragedy feels so big,

But how lame it will feel after a week,

After months, even years, the memories will reside but I promise my friend the pain will never,

Only a lesson with a good ending will stay behind….

5. Somehow taking life to an end was never the end goal,

Life was never something to be too grandeur, too lavish, too aesthetic,

It was all about cherishing the ups and downs and highs and lows of an endless roller coaster,

I feel life just lived sounds depressing enough to think about death,

But a life seen , touched , felt, listened, Engraved makes your purpose eternal.

6. Meaningful good byes are the best and the worst ones,

They make you that very moments again and again and again until your death,

Those good byes are the hardest ones,

Because you know that accidental encounters will never happen again,

You will never feel the same as you did,

Meaningful good byes are the last ones you will ever bid…

7. Outward beauty takes it all ,

Pretty privilege is real,

I used to think being good with heard mattered,

But I don’t how many times this heart of mine had to be bandaged that get better,

Did outer appearances erased the existence of the very us,

I laugh how foolish this generation became, 

Trying to look their best from the outside, but somehow are getting worst from the inside,

How they polish themselves to look presentable, top notch, aware of every beauty trend, 

But whose good deeds after death are they going to lend?

By Anwesha Singh