You’re Here But Not The Same

By Vaishavi Ashokkumar Oza

I miss the old you — the you I knew,

The one who made my world feel so safe and true,

Who'd flood my dm 's, spam, talk and ask me, "How are you, vaish ?" 

Those words that made my heart felt like a child.

The one who cared when I was pushing him away;

Who stayed, despite the storms, the gray:

Who held my heart with gentle hands, 

And understood what no one else could understand.

You were still kind when i abandoned you, 

I miss the one who used to read my poems,

Who saved them whenever i used to show, 

like secrets no one could know.

I miss the one who actually heard my guitar covers even if they were only 2,

You were the one whose heart felt just like mine 

So deep, so soft, one would actually call it home, Who never mocked what I felt too strong;

But matched my soul all along :

You were the one who actually matched my level of feeling things deeply —

 who matched my vulnerability:

When everyone called me "too much,"

You made me feel as if I was just enough 

As if my storms weren't something to fear;

But a language you understood, crystal clear;

You gave me comfort without even trying;

The safe space where I felt brave.

Made me laugh when inside, i was quietly crying You're here, but not the same, 

A distant shadow of your name.

I reach for you, but you're not there —

Just echoes hanging in the air:

And though I try to let it go,

My heart still wanders back, you know.

To that old you — the one who stayed, 

Before the light between us began to fade.

I miss that boy; that heart, that care I miss you, though you're still right there.

I wonder what changed — 

was it me? Was it this?

Was it that stupid confession I regret, 

yet still miss? 

I wish I could take it all back, 

pretend I never cared, 

So maybe you'd still be the boy who was always there

By Vaishavi Ashokkumar Oza