You Are My Happiness

By Tania Basak

"Hello! Miss rip van winkle, I haven't gone to my grannie's house, happy? Well, I am thinking to celebrate diwali here with mom and dad this year, so when will you be coming to your maternal uncle's house? Listen I've already brought the firecrackers, maroons. Yes, I know that you are dreaded of this and you are still that chicken-livered but so what? I'll be cracking because razzing you is a pure bliss to me, I can't wait anymore, I'm just counting the days to meet you my bitch, come soon." You avowed

No other festival can make me so buoyant the way Diwali does because this is the only time when I am with you. I am not that excited about this festival but when it comes to you, I become the happiest person because I am smitten by you...

Seeing your message on my mobile screen I was caprioling like a monkey, chuckling like a mountebank. My eyes were coruscating with joy, I was beaming from ear to ear since I had got your message, couldn't consolidate on anything else. You won't believe that I had been staring at your picture advertently for hours. Yes, I am a loopy about you, couldn't grip my happiness, kept staring myself in the mirror, thinking that which dress should I be wearing? This, red one or that black one? I was just pondering about you, tossing and turning in the bed throughout the night, contemplating that when will I be meeting you? And when we finally met, everything became a hotchpotch, I had decked up myself with that red kurti and light make-up. I was about to tell you everything but all my giddiness evaporated, shaking with nervousness, I became totally silent after seeing you, had forgotten everything.

When I am alone, i just keep whuffling like a parrot, pondering about you, talking about you, snogging your pictures cuddy.

I even thought that I'll tell everything on that evening that were going inside me but when you came up to me, I went blank.

I dont know why? Why do I become so gawky in front of you?You know what is the most ludicrous part?? Mom still doesn't even know why her daughter becomes so exhilarated when she is about to go to her maternal uncle's house? And this is the one place where I had spent my entire childhood, this is the place where I used to stay more than my own whang.Whenever you call me up, whenever I talk to you, I am like, "No, it's the right time, I should be confessing" but can't, and this shit still happens with me everytime. May be I am a little bit scared of telling you everything, may be I am afraid of showing you my feelings, may be I am such a timid to express my love for you, may be a fear is riveting me. "Will he stop talking to me?" "If he ends up this friendship then what? "

I don't want to lose you. And the truth is, I always get stuck between these two.You always have been on my mind, you are above everything and everyone, no words will ever suffice to explain what are you to me. And yes, I adore you unsanctifiedly, I love you more than you could have ever imagined, I feel dusky at times, thinking, I wish I could tell this to you but then I think, that some things are better left unsaid.” I thought

By Tania Basak