Would My Guru Accept Me?

By Sushmaa. T. M. R/ Suthanthira (pen name)

I would say ''I'm not tired,''

On trying to reach Him

For help.

I would say ''I'm afraid,''

On trying to explain Me

For help.

Yes,

He is beyond my reach and busy, I believe.

But yes,

I can go on carrying my purpose and dedication

To Him.

Should I ask Him to make me prepare

To ask Him,

''How should I become Your disciple?''

For the burning longing

I hold in my heart,

Will He hold me to the path

Where there is Arts,

And nothing else!

In the pathway,

I know I would feel hopeless and unconfident.

And I know

He would hurt me intentionally

To make me believe in myself,

And tempt me to do things

That could not impress Him,

But build a steady trust between

Me as a disciple and Him as a Guru.

I know Him as a God

Who demands no money and business.

I do know myself as a seeker

Who at last takes refuge in his heart,

Surrendering all my efforts and acts

Right at his Lotus Feet.

What would He do with me?

When I have no idea on

How to do anything

About myself.

By Sushmaa. T. M. R/ Suthanthira (pen name)