Worry

By Srishti Pandey

I worried all my life

Anxiety took over my soul

Unable to breathe

I found refuge in sleep and dozed off.

Learnt the word 'anxious' at a tender age

Credits to my sweaty palms that were always cold and wet

People found it funny and interesting

While I created a space for thoughts that never met their end.

The overflow of thoughts

Made me rigid and my mind blurry

Felt unstable and couldn't comprehend

Who I was and who I am.

Pulled my hair strand by strand

Increased heartbeat became a normal stance

Lost my appetite to anxiety

And my real self to irrational thoughts.

Judged, doubted, compared

Thought I was the cruellest creature

Unable to function continued to curse

Showed what self-hatred was.

After years of the sky with grey clouds

Wisdom entered and brought light

Revealed the dormant seed that I was

And how much love and care I needed to give to the person who bore the burden for so long.

By Srishti Pandey