Why Hate Yourself?

By Awish Aggarwal

You are such a failure,

You are too fat and unattractive,

You are not good enough,

You are hopeless,

Everyone must be thinking that you are so {boring/rude/unattractive}...

Now imagine one day you hear one lady saying all these things to her child, what will you do? You’ll get upset and will definitely rush to interrupt that lady. Then why do you normalise saying all these things to yourself? Is it good for you? Do you find it fun? No right, then why?

These are some extremely harsh and critical statements one can impose on someone yet you do it on yourself perfectly. And to be very honest, I know this comes naturally without having any conscious control over it. For some, it can be the by-product of their culture which encourages them to be self-deprecating and modest. For others being harsh and critical may be a way to motivate themselves to do better and push harder. Just one question though, when you have better options to choose from then why do you go for a harder one that is too poor?

Do you know that the way we speak to ourselves often then turns the basis of the beliefs that we have about ourselves? How we speak to ourselves becomes one of the reasons behind the formation of our personality. So for example, if I keep telling myself, “You are not good enough, you are not worthy”, over time it’s gonna blend in with my personality and may then also affect things that I do in life. For example, I will reject myself before anyone else does for any purpose like a career opportunity, a date, etc just because I believe, “I’m not good enough”.

Being kind to ourselves doesn’t mean giving up on ourselves instead it means prioritising long-term goals and dreams over short-term pleasure. 

Let’s create a hypothetical situation where you are a cricket coach and you act very harsh and tough with your students for of course their betterment but those students will end up fearing u and can lose the will to play cricket. But that doesn’t mean you let them act on their own out of love as it’s foolish and the students will lose their way. So it’s best to coach them kindly and compassionately but also in a motivational way. 

Now just forget about cricket and remember one thing YOU ARE YOUR COACH YOURSELF. 

The moment you’ll transform your way of looking at you you’ll realise how beautiful life is and will definitely want to live life to its fullest.

Remember the most close person to you is you only. It’s you who has seen everything about you, and knows everything about you and getting the backing and support of the person having this much importance in your life is the most beautiful thing one can get.

JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU CAN DO IT.

By Awish Aggarwal