What If Genders Were Reversed?

By Kratika Kushwaha

Male and female. Biological sign: Male- ♂️, Female- ♀️. Same beings but assigned different genders. Why is that? Why is it that the both are same yet so different from one another? Biologically yes, mostly everyone is aware of how men and women are different. The body structure and chromosomes. Voice, strength, muscles, only these are the things that mainly make a difference between a man and a woman.

Firstly, I would like to talk about the two terms that often leave many confused, Sex and Gender. Are they synonyms? Is there any difference between them? If yes, then what? Well, as said by WHO in an article regarding the same issue, "Sex is the biological and physiological features and characteristics that men and women have like, chromosomes, reproductive organs, hormones and such. While gender refers to the 'socially constructed beliefs', i.e., it is based on norms, roles and relationships of and between groups of men and women."

Gender being the socially constructed term is not something that we are born with, it is implemented and put in our minds from a very early age so that we act the part that we have known, been taught and seen the way one particular ‘gender’ does. A boy is taught how he should act, walk, talk, sit and everything with the aim to be seen masculine and dominant. The same happens with the girls. They are expected to walk, talk, sit and do everything elegantly with a hint of delicacy, to show how they are feminine and considered 'weak'. Not only this, social construct is patriarchal, it affects people with homosexuality very much. Just because they do not prefer to be with someone of opposite sex or are bisexual, people make fun of them, often leading to a messed up mental health and insecurities.

Even though India is considered a quite independent country, and relationships and marriages being made legal now, only a quarter of the population actually feels comfortable with such laws being made and implemented. Homophobia is not that uncommon in many places. They are belittled for something which is not their fault and in fact, is not even wrong. Even the term 'gay' is now used offensively to anyone who does not fit the 'perfect description of man'. Why? Probably because they are not wearing clothes like a man should or walking like a man is supposed to or maybe are not behaving like a "man" does in the society.

It is truly scary if one pays attention to how society works for our supposed 'well-being'. Along with the basics of daily life, children's minds are etched with this idea of how to be a man or woman and what they would be doing in future. During their childhood, they are given toys to play with and pass their time. It is totally a coincidence that in many families, boys are often gifted with cars, trucks and such toys but girls are given barbie dolls to play with, to take care of, right? Absolutely a coincidence. It is not like they are somewhat unknowingly told what they are supposed to do in future. Groomed on how they should be.

Being a man, you should, or you can say, you must work and earn money for your family. And being a girl, you are to stay at home only, looking after children, your husband and the whole family. Making sure to feed them and as a caregiver. Man is supposed to be the protector. Sort of a shield to protect their wife from any harm due to her being a weak person who can not take care of herself. If you do anything that is not acceptable by society, it means you are not good. You are disrespectful, lack manners and it is all your parents’ fault because they did not teach you what you should do. It is terrifying, how children with a whole future ahead of them, are crushed for not meeting the so-called 'standards'. Activities like cooking, stitching, and household chores are something that only a female should do. Men seeking jobs and work as a chef, tailor are looked down on because it is not their place. They are too far enough educated and strong to do these 'womanly' things.

What exactly is Gender identity? According to Oxford, gender identity is an individual's personal sense of having a particular gender. It refers to how you view yourself. The problem with the concept of gender identity is that you don't get to explore or identity your gender, it is the society that does it for you. It starts from the very birth of a person. The moment doctor announces the sex of baby whether it is a girl or a boy, the development of gender identity begins. They start to decorate the room in either 'pink' or 'blue', depending on the baby pronouns. Buy clothes for them, completely different. Toys and everything 'appropriate' for their 'gender'. Different expectations are set for them. If it is a girl, she should be polite, patient, careful and emotional. While a boy is bold, aggressive and emotionless.

If we talk about gender, Besnestad, a Norwegian physician and sexologist identified seven unique genders: Male, Female, Transgender, Personal, Non-Conforming, Eunuch, Intersex.

1) Male - Associated with pronouns he/him. Male is an individual who identifies himself as a man. Biologically, human beings who have the XY set of chromosomes are male.

2) Female - Associated with pronouns she/her. Individual who identifies herself as female is considered a female. They have a set of XX chromosomes.

3) Transgender - Associated with he/him, she/her, et/hir. People who do not identify themselves with the gender of their birth-assigned sex and have a desire to be different than what their sex is. It is typically assumed that if a person is transgender, they must be gay. But it is not true.

4) Personal - Associated with et al. Individuals who identify themselves as themselves. They rely on their own self to be validated as such.

5) Non-Conforming - Associated with they/them. Individuals who classify themselves as 'non-gendered'. They believe themselves to be neither male nor female or other, considering themselves just with the title of human.

6) Eunuch - Associated with et al. Eunuchs are individuals who are born biologically with XY chromosomes, i.e., they are males. But they choose to be castrated to become a female.

7) Intersex - Associated with the term intersex. It is originally a medical category in which an individual is born with both sexes. They can neither be identified as male nor female as they possess both genetics. Intersex individuals are often surgically 'treated' to fit within the dominant categories of male/female in society.

In many places, female foeticide and female infanticide continue to be a part of community despite being declared illegal. Female foeticide refers to the abortion of foetus or child after finding out the sex. Whereas female infanticide is the killing of an infant girl once she is born. Heart-breaking but it still exists in some regions. In many previous soap-operas and shows it is shown how the birth of a boy is celebrated in the whole locality by distributing sweets while when a girl is born, her parents especially the mother is taunted. It is hilarious how they blame a mother for birthing a girl child when logically, it is the chromosomes of man that decide the sex of child. Then comes the education part. Boys are sent to attend schools and universities when they are of age, to pursue their careers. Not many families give the same treatment to their daughters. It can be seen with the number of girls in any school. They do go to school but in every class, boys are more in number. In the outside world too, there are more men employed in companies and institutes than women. In many workplaces, it is also seen that there is a stark difference in the salary or remuneration paid to them. Women, even if they are doing the same work that a man does, receive less income. Moreover, men and boys, no matter the age, are completely correct and praised when they show their interest in something they are passionate about like sports, but women are looked down upon for watching anything they like.

A term very famous in social studies is ‘Gender Stereotyping’. What does it mean? Well, for starters, gender stereotyping is to have pre-assumed characteristics that a specific gender should have. Like mentioned above, how women are polite and feminine while men are aggressive and bold. It is a stereotype set in the minds of people from so early age that they believe that it is how they should be. One must have seen how a girl who is loud, free-spoken and independent is judged for her actions and behaviour. She is called crude words like, ‘bitch’, ‘whore’ and ‘slut’. While men who do not look masculine or bold, are called ‘wimps’ or ‘sissy’. People who don’t fit in the category of these ‘stereotypes’ are often bullied, disrespected, discriminated and are treated unfairly. Stereotypes can be very dangerous. They can cause us to be disoriented in our perceptions. Those who do not conform to societal stereotypes feel pressured and go down the path of self-destruction.

It is not that only women face problems because of these already made assumptions of male and female. It is grilled into men from childhood, how they are the stronger party in a relationship or home. How their responsibility is to earn and protect. How they should not cry because it is not appealing for a man to cry. This is so wrong and disturbing at the same time, to realise how they are taught to suppress their emotions. But to this date, boys who cry or get emotional are bullied. They are supposed to be better than other men. If they let their wife go to work, and they do the chores, which should be absolutely normal since it is their choice and their life, many people taunt them. One of the saddest things is that though, if a boy is taken advantage of or is domestically or sexually assaulted, how less sympathy and empathy he gets from others. Instead, he is made a joke to laugh at, how he got violated because he is a man. This reason right here is responsible for so many fake cases made against men who are innocent. People believe it when a woman accuses a man of domestic violence. Not that it is always false or fake. But many women have started taking advantage of how society immediately takes their side in such matters.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, NCADV, states that even though the number of females facing domestic violence is bigger, men do too. It says that 1 in 4 men experienced physical abuse from an intimate partner at some point in their lives. It is upsetting how they are not taken as seriously as a woman is in these cases. It is not a hidden fact how people, especially teenagers commit suicide due to these unbalanced opinions.

When a girl is victim of rape, society starts throwing accusations at her of how she must have been not wearing proper clothes, must have stayed out late at night. Is it really a girl's fault for feeling secure enough to wear whatever she wants and go wherever she wants? Is it her fault that some psycho being was not able to control himself, have a bit of humanity and conscience? Of course not. Now when the victim is of the opposite gender, what happens? If a boy is assaulted or raped, he can not even tell anyone. He has to consider if the horrendous act should be mentioned or not. Because he knows, in the society where men are dominant, he will be ridiculed for how he was not able to protect himself. So much that it will come to a point where he would be made to second-guess the incident, if it was really assault or not.

American Psychological Association, in one of their articles titled, 'Men and women: No big difference', talked about how sex has little to no role in the development of personality and capability. They concluded this on the basis of studies and experiments done and conducted. It read, "an analysis done in 2005 showed that men and women are basically a lot alike in terms of personality, cognitive ability and leadership. This analysis was done by Psychologist Janet Shibley Hyde, Ph.D of University of Wisconsin in Madison. She said that men and women were more alike than different. She analysed how prior research assessed the impact of gender on many psychological traits and abilities, including cognitive abilities, verbal and nonverbal communication, aggression, leadership, self-esteem, moral reasoning and motor behaviours. Hyde observed that across the dozens of studies, consistent with the gender similarities hypothesis, gender differences had either no or a very small effect on most of the psychological variables examined. Only a few main differences appeared: Compared with women, men could throw farther, were more physically aggressive, masturbated more, and held more positive attitudes about sex in uncommitted relationships.

Furthermore, Hyde found that gender differences seem to depend on the context in which they were measured. In studies designed to eliminate gender norms, researchers demonstrated that gender roles and social context strongly determined a person's actions. For example, after participants in one experiment were told that they would not be identified as male or female, nor did they wear any identification, none conformed to stereotypes about their sex when given the chance to be aggressive. In fact, they did the opposite of what would be expected - women were more aggressive and men were more passive."

What will happen if roles are reserved? If the gender of people is changed? It will be seen as appropriate for a man to wear an apron and work in the kitchen while a woman goes out to work. Men will be expected to do chores while his other half earns livelihood. Both experience problems in this gender-based society as they have to fulfil the roles even if they don't want to. We say that we have developed, moved ahead with time, but is it really true? Because there are still roots of patriarchy present in our society. They not only keep us tied and stop from moving forward but also limit our paths for the future. It is like both men and women are said to sit in a car in which they do not get to choose the destination. No. The destination is already set by the community and the steering is controlled by their families.

It is high time to realise and acknowledge that there is no such thing as gender. Neither is there anything like Gender identity nor Gender roles. We have come so far. It is not 20th century where one expects women to sit down and look pretty while men do the brave work. If we want to develop our country, first the mindsets of people should be developed. Just the construction and increase in institutions and buildings will not make us ‘modern’ or someone with ‘high standard’. The patriarchy that has been going on should be stopped now. It is completely normal to have sexual orientation that causes you not to be attracted to the opposite gender but the same as yours. They are human too. Just like everyone of us.

By Kratika Kushwaha