What Do We Feel?

By Evita Reny

In the realms of nightfall,

Sifting amongst those blemish free sheets,

I look into the hand mirror on the bed side table,

All I see is a figure that is waning away,

The silhouette is of none but me,

 Me that is unknown to me,

Me that is concealed from me,

Who am I?

A question that makes my heart twinge.

Mind constantly filled with venom,

Thoughts that sting to no respite

Lessons from Sisyphus cloud this psyche,

Clouded news and articles makes me want to approach therapy

But, little did I know,

It’s a prolonged battle,

Skirmish against the evil,

The malevolent parasite in my brain,

The one that makes me feel

“You aren’t worth it”,

Worth the nebula that lights the sky,

Worth the dawn that changes hues,

Worth the labor pain that was endured,

Undeserving of the boundless, unfailing love.

The monoamine oxidase inhibitors fail,

Numbed by the drugs,

Body melts to feel frail,

Is it a self-diagnosed trigger?

Or am I anxious,

Or am I bipolar

Or am I just too afraid to face the reality,

The reality of being nobody.

By Evita Reny