What A Good Day To Be Alive

By Shalmali Dharmadhikari

WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE!

“This is the first day of the rest of my life,”he thought as the radiance of his smile lit up his face.He walked past a bed of yellow and pink daffodils appreciating their dance in the light breeze.

He took in a deep breath.The fragrance of the flowering jasmine filled his senses.

“Ah!”he exclaimed as a wave of optimism swept over him,clearing his head after the much needed introspection.

Aryan Rai,was a tall man in his late twenties with an enviable physique for his age.His hair as black as raven and his piercing dark brown eyes garnered attention from man and woman alike.

He removed his slippers,allowing the soft grass to tickle his feet.The sky was bright blue,with the sun shining down just the right amount amidst the cotton like clouds.

“Nature truly is mesmerising,”he mused,as it had aided him in an honest and fruitful self evaluation.

Having done exceptionally well in the initial years of his life academically and otherwise,Aryan had become an overachiever.This overambitiousness had crept in subconsciously,unknowingly and become an integral part of his personality.

“When did complacency replace my perseverance?”he pondered as he watched a bright pink butterfly flutter about a small white flower.

And it was this complacency that had cost him.He had now realised how things had not been coming to fruition on their own.

HE was the one making an effort all this while to ensure his goals actually took form.

He had just become too used to the idea of things happening.

Strolling further ahead,he reached a clearing,wherein ran a brook.

A beautiful blue jay spread its wings before landing on the opposite bank.Two small yellow birds swooped down to quench their thirst.

He sighed and lay down by the brook,embracing the tranquil water.

Lying in the solitude of his thoughts with the melodious chirping of birds,he looked up at the sky and smiled after what seemed like a very long time.

In the recent past,Aryan had encountered what he had labelled as ‘a string of failures.’

He had cursed God for not equipping him with the power to deal with difficult situations;for giving him the taste of success earlier in life than it was warranted.

Pompous as it did sound,he wistfully watched other people of his age go about their ‘average’ well balanced lives.No,Aryan was not arrogant.He was in fact too naïve in assuming that this self entitled lack of humility could be afforded by him,by virtue of his achievements.

He often regretted his name being out there in society.His formidable reputation had already become the benchmark for many.

But when presented with unforeseen circumstances suddenly,he had had no idea what to do.

His overanalysing perfectionism had proved to be quite detrimental in this scenario.He would scrutinise his efforts to perfect,rectify the situation for hours on end-

“Was he doing this to keep his reputation intact?Or was it because this is what he actually wants to do?”

This vicious cycle of thought process had affected him in more ways than he on his high horse would care to admit.

This mindset had rendered him supine for days and when he did move,it was with a heaviness on his chest and a sadness that had engulfed him in his entirety.

There were times when he would be clutching his hair,crying inconsolably,on his knees,begging God to put an end to this misery,or to bless him with sanity that seemed to be handed out with mediocrity according to him.

It seemed impossible to pull himself out of this rubble.And even if he did-WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF ALL THIS!WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ANYTHING AT ALL!

Entangled in this web of nihilism and existential crisis,he got lost in his own thoughts,which had got the better of him.

He had fallen prey to his own imperious self and faced a crushing defeat.

He had lost.Miserably.

“But no more!”he shouted as he stood up,spreading his arms wide,taking in the sweet smell of freedom-freedom from all the chains that had bound him.He had been in no rat race.He had been competing against himself this whole time.

For the realisation had dawned upon him.These ‘failures’ are just minor obstacles in a path that leads to a destination that is chosen by you and YOU,only.If you see success at the end of it,you will do everything in your power to make that happen,to overcome these obstacles,because you believe in the light at the end of the path-because you believe in yourself-

The LIGHT at the end of the tunnel is in fact,YOU.

“If only this brainwave had found its way sooner and saved all of us months and months of depression and foolish misery!”he laughed reminiscing his times of strife.

“Oh!How much have I been oblivious to!”he exclaimed as he watched a flock of birds soar past,whistling in tune to their cheerful chirping.

Alas!The therapist’s words that he had scoffed at countless number of times,now made perfect sense-It truly was a matter of perspective.He decided to hold on to this new found persepective for all of eternity.

He was finally at peace with himself.

With a spring in his steps and hope in his heart,he walked briskly,saying softly to himself,”This is going to be the first day of the rest of my life.It is time to go home.”

He had reached an intersection.He was about to go right as he knew in his heart that this was the way.

He suddenly stopped.

A feeling of déjà vu swept over him.

Had he been here?At this very intersection?

Was it yesterday?

Where was he anyway?

He was quickly distracted by muffled cries and sobs coming from the road leading left.

Puzzled,he followed the sounds.He saw his parents and brother and called out to them.But they did not respond,despite him being well within earshot.They were accompanied by a group of people,all dressed in black.

He looked around-he was in a graveyard.

They were kneeling by a tombstone with the engraving-

RIP ARYAN RAI

1992-2019

By Shalmali Dharmadhikari