We Were Never Eachother's

By Rhea Rouseau

The world’s most brutal thinking, murder attacks, self harm and the most colossal sort of evil were probably because they were left alone. Maybe it was something we assumed or it could have been a thing we felt when we parted ways. Never once did we think of it that way, until I had experienced it.

For I loved you till the stars and moon but we were impossible. I knew it. Even though, those few times the stars may have aligned. We found it out too late. The forest took us to places dark where only fireflies were the brightest they could be. I looked into your eyes as you looked into mine. I felt something, it was weird. At first, I hated it but it started becoming a thing between the two of us. After all the things we did, we felt. It was ignored, forgotten, lost; not because we wanted to, but because it was never the right time. I found it far-fetched to let go, my emotions all in a time hole, it would just never go. The times I was alone, I ruined myself, hurt myself in ways a 17 year old shouldn’t have. Bringing that up was just for my sake, just to get him back.

Nate was a part of it, my comfort zone. Even now he is, just that I’ve learnt to shut my eyes to it. The closer we got, the harder it was for me. Trust was an issue now and it was then too. For him, I didn’t think for a second. My heart in the end was a mess. I wasn’t ready for another betrayal. So, I left it all. Although it was a regret then, it became an apparent accomplishment. I missed him but it went unaddressed.

Nate was the very first and will always be the first I lent my heart out to and I’m grateful to him in many ways, which would take a while to get onto. Even though he was the reason for my instability, he helped me get through it. Being alone was one of my very first fears. But, I was never alone.

Giving up on him was the best thing I had done, it was just better than losing myself to someone who wasn't even mine.

By Rhea Rouseau