Unspoken Love

By Gianna Torres

A swarm of butterflies in my chest

Every interaction bringing more and more

My ribcage breaks open

Like my heart when I finally speak the truth

A dam split in half by waves of mistakes

The butterflies finally free

But my heart shattered into pieces 

A million eggshells I have to walk on

As I realize, words have consequences 

Some thoughts should stay hidden 

Deep beneath the surface

Where no one can see 

Like my insecurities

Real but blind to the naked eye

Felt but never seen

Obvious but unclear

Misinterpretated

Assumed

There and gone in a blink of an eye

Faster than the speed of light

Radiating through me

Not long enough to understand 

I’m searching for an answer to a question I know nothing about

An E to a topic that was never taught 

Never discussed 

Only gossiped between uneducated youth

No written path

Left or right

Wrong and right

Black or white

The color vanished

Until she crosses my mind

Every word ever said

Every action 

Every reaction

Every stare

Every text

Every movement

Every facial expression 

All fuel to the fire

Only to be smothered by reality

Every hope and dream 

Crushed

Broken

Never to return

Swept away into darkness

Nothingness

A black hole of stolen desires

Dreams I once believed in but somehow always fell short 

Once reachable 

Now unattainable 

Unspoken

Forgotten

Lost in the abyss of a broken soul

Once shining as bright as the North Star

Now leading me in the opposite direction of a one-way street

This is my first rodeo 

And it will be my last

Butterflies die

Their beauty remains

But no two snowflakes are the same

Regenerated 

Same fuel but different flame

Never as bright 

Real but never true

This dream is unachievable

A lottery that can’t be won

Wanted

Desired

Needed

Imagined

Money can’t buy happiness because happiness is a butterfly

One that can never die

Never be replaced

Only able to grow

My butterfly is still alive

Growing stronger than ever

Greater than the universe 

Greater than anything imaginable 

But part of its wing is broken, as a small part of me dies

What I once believed is now murky

Mixed signals

Every unspoken word 

Every hurtful word

Every mistake

Every misunderstanding 

Another piece breaks

Rubbed to dust by the hands of devils 

Eventually completely disappearing until the spark is gone, as if it was never there

The flame can return

Reignite

Rekindle

Only it has changed

Same fuel, different flame

Energy can’t be created or destroyed 

But what once was 

Will never be again

By Gianna Torres