Unnamed Relationships

By Priyam Gupta

We are mature enough to respect each other’s differences and choose not to be around because at the end of the day, you need to hug your pillow tight and choose your own peace of mind. When you are going through hardships, I may not come into the centre and offer help but it really bothers me. I might just keep praying that you sort everything out soon. I might even look for people who might help you because seeing you messed up somewhere messes me too. When you achieve big or small, I have the sweetest smile stuck on my face. Even if I might be going through hardships then, the fact that you are doing great in life helps me owe myself a momo treat, because it just really feels good and I don’t owe any explanation to anyone about why I feel that way.

Isn’t this what growing up means? Respecting differences from a distance to let each other live in peace, feeling elated when the other gets promoted and wishing them or maybe not. So much beyond rishtaas and rishtedaars, just good intentions matter! In the midst of all this chaos, one question always pops up, does true love exist? It surely does. On some days when I come back to an empty rented apartment, feeling exhausted with no lap to rest on, I pick up my cell-phone and type a long text about how I wish giving up and run back to you,to accommodate my heavy heart which no longer agrees to be held my me, I stop. I breathe. I know for once that it ended, maybe for good. I wrap myself in your old tee and listen to our favourite songs until sleep takes me away to unconsciousness. You know what’s the worst part? You send a text to me the same night asking for my opinion on some dress that you wish to wear at a friend’s party. How do you know that I had been craving a message as a proof of your existence the same day? Do you still feel the connection too or am I just hallucinating over something that is never going to happen?

Let’s make a pact. When you leave, I won’t find more of you and less of me, in me.

By Priyam Gupta