Today

By Immane A Shiphrah

Today, my eyes cried oceans of tears

But strangely, I was laughing while crying.

Love taught me what it is to fear

I was scared but didn’t stop trying.

This time I felt something different.

I felt deeply hurt. A sharp pain in my chest.

I was in pain but I felt numb.

It felt like a knife was stabbed straight into my heart

It ripped layers of skin and protruded on the back of my body.

Drenched in blood, not giving a damn about it

I feel like it’s normal and that I’m used to it.

Dying isn’t new. I know well, what it feels like to be torn apart.

But show me love, i just wouldn’t know how to react.

Give me blades and shattered glasses, I play well with them.

Give me flowers, I’d just pull out one petal after the other

Till the flower is stripped naked and is no longer worth loving.

I told my friend all this and she said

Maybe I needed a shot of vodka.

But oh dear, I already feel drunk enough

That in spite of seeing blood spring out of my body

I wash my hands in it and bathe myself in rivers of red.

I know I’m supposed to give out an ailing scream

But here i am twisting the knife in my chest to make sure i feel.

Today, my heart broke. Again.

It felt like my head was falling off my body

My limbs tied and my heart shattered to a million pieces.

But strangely through it all, i gracefully put up a smile

And ignored the hurt, convincing myself that I’m used to it.

By Immane A Shiphrah