To Whatever That Will Become Of Me

By Abarna N

Night walk in the terrace

Enjoying the warmth as darkness embrace

Plugging my earphones , raising the volume high

Took a look around , with a deep sigh

Saw people were going and coming around me

Seems everyone and everything is in motion except me

A small chuckle left from me

And it seems I lost the sense of direction for me

Lost it way long before escapism became coping mechanism for me

Shaking my head , a small smile appeared

This escapism made me numb

And to think of that as a healing, was me being dumb

Through this numbness

Through this darkness

I spent a lot of time wishing for everything

I do wish to wake up smiling

I do wish to go back to sleep smiling

Not with an aching heart

Not with one filled with regrets like an art

Not with one which is void

Don’t have energy to blame any

The ways to change from the way I lived are many

Whatever gone was gone for good

Now I am going to be with myself

To tune myself

To return to my own self

After a good amount of time

I am going to be with myself , this time

And going to hear her out

Let her out

Going to sit with her , pat her shoulders

Make her to lean on my shoulders

Going to let her take a step back

To stand still in the moment

To collect her own self back

And let her take decision at the moment

To whatever that will become of me.

By Abarna N