To Those Who Hold On

By Amina Nazir

To Those Who Hold On,

An apology is due, for my momentary, useless ambitions, the unsought and quiescent talents vested in me. 

An apology for the sharp, vivid and unclouded ruthlessness. 

An apology for the blatant and unyielding misbeliefs. 

An apology for apologies will never be enough. 

And an apology for apologizing at all. 

The debt of humanity stands perpetual, ever increasing and apologies are all I can offer. 

Here, I present words of remorse to shelter you from our inhumanity. An action akin to inaction, I'm writing a letter that would never reach the intended recipient. 

It's a cruel irony. Life is a cruel irony. 

Words are my refuge from this reality. 

I remember at your age reading of worlds- apocalyptic, romanticization of the end, our potential for destruction. And now you live in realities which were once merely words to me, where death is a frequent, persistent visitor and humanity is a fantastic myth. 

So how can I speak to you as the children you are? To make of the harshest truths something palatable when you're served them in all their ugliness, raw and bleeding. How can I comfort you with metaphors and similes? To give you cover with soft, pillowy phrases but the unshapely, shards of glass perched on your soft skin get caught. 

A rhyming lullaby and snappy alliteration but the prayers and screams drown me out. An imagery, butterflies and blue skies but you close your eyes to red, open them to an even bloodier shade.

I lay in shame, 

bend and break at the mercy of my own words but you stand taller still. 

You brave night after night unknowing the day and what it brings. 

Oh sweet child, I raise you the double edged sword of hope. 

And as it cuts, it cuts deep, a blunter end defending, but you hold on. 

Hands strong, steady and determined. 

You hold on in spite of my words, 

you hold on in spite of what you've seen and known. 

You hold on for there's light within you- 

bright, brighter than those animated red skies raining ruin. 

You hold on for you see that light in those around you. 

You hold on. 

And you hold on tight. 

And I'll pledge to keep your hope alive in words. 

To keep writing. 

To doing your resilience and courage justice. 

To keep hoping. 

I'll hold on with you.

By Amina Nazir