To Love Again

By Aarav Isaac Samuel

Jenn knew from the start that the boy will be hers. The soft, gentle smile and the glint in his blue eyes when he looked at her. His way of using his hands when speaking of something whilst lost in true wonder. The way he held her hands when they sat under the stars like he will never let go. The way they cuddled when it got cold. She felt happy. Truly happy. It felt like it had been a long time since she had loved someone so desperately.

Her husband would have been so proud of Dylan. Yes, she was sure of it. She had married only eighteen months ago. It was a blissful memory, one that brought both tears of joy and pain to her heart when she thought about it. She first saw Noah when he had just finished his deployment from Afghanistan. His parents had recently moved into her neighbourhood. The moment she set her eyes on him, she was helplessly in love. It was love at first sight. At least, she was in love. Noah had not seen her. Not yet.

It was after Church that weekend, that Jenn and Noah had first bumped into each other. They had an awkward conversation that they reminisced about later on. It was crystal clear that Noah was just as flustered as she was. They kept bumping into each other – at the department store, at the movie theatre, at the bank. It was as if the universe had ordained it.

Their frequent meetings led to friendship, which then turned into courtship. Jenn still remembered Noah asking her out the first time. She had said yes. Who wouldn’t have? They visited an Italian restaurant that night. It took only a few more dates before Jenn felt like she had known Noah her entire life. Time seemed to fly by with him. When they went out for a walk, they lost track of time. Minutes would turn into hours. She wanted to be with Noah every minute. She wanted to spend her remaining life with him. That feeling was mutual. Noah’s heart leapt whenever he saw Jenn.

Then, he proposed. Jenn could still picture herself in the flowing turquoise dress as Noah got down on one knee and looked into her eyes as if he had waited for this moment for very long. Jenn herself had been hoping for this the past few weeks. But, she had never contemplated tears falling from her brown almond eyes as she said yes. It was a moment captured for eternity in a picture that still hung in her bedroom.

They were married on a Saturday. They said their vows and Noah even sang for her. Noah’s mother had cried with joy. The day ended with a dance. They were just right for each other.

The first few months of her marriage were lovely. Even though she had thought she knew Noah completely, she was still amazed at the way he would go out of the way just to make her feel special. She still remembered the day she woke without Noah beside her. She felt worried. She ran into the hall to see Noah standing in the centre with a box in his hands. It wasn’t her birthday. Neither was it their anniversary. It was just as normal a day as it could have been since her wedding. Noah told her to close her eyes and put his hands gracefully around her neck and hooked something in. It fell to her chest, right till where her heart would be. It was the prettiest pendant that Jenn had seen. On opening it, she saw that it had a photo of Noah and her. Jenn always kept it around her. It was her way of keeping Noah close to her heart when he went away.

A year passed by fast. Jenn had started working at the hospital again. Noah was called back to action. He would be so far away, but the wait of him coming back kept them hopeful.

Both were busy, but missed each other. Everyday felt long without Noah. Noah was only able to call at irregular intervals. He called at different hours during the day to keep an element of surprise. Months passed slowly but surely, and Jenn fervently waited for his calls. Every day.

It was three months since Noah had been away. Jenn was in the hospital when the call came. She thought it was her beloved calling. She picked up the receiver, anticipating Noah’s calm voice reminding her how much he loved her or cracking one of his silly one-liners. But, alas, the call did not bring good news. It brought devastation.

Noah was no more. He was killed in a confrontation early in the Afghan morning. He had saved a child’s life, but in doing so, he himself came in the line of fire. Jenn fell to her knees. She did not know what else there was to do.

Her world had shattered. No word could have summarised what she felt. Her eyes got wet. Tears found their way down. Gently, one by one. She was not angry, nor in denial. She was just sad. Heartbroken.

The military paid their tributes. Jenn moved in with Noah’s parents, who loved her as their own. And, she loved them back. They had buried Noah’s body, but he lived on in their hearts.

Jenn disconnected herself with the outside world. Life had lost its meaning. It took months and a lot of encouragement for her to come out of her shell. Jenn struggled to put on a brave face because she was still filled with grief. She knew a piece of her was just not there anymore.

It was around this time that she first met Dylan through Cassie. Cassie had been her close friend since her teen years and had been a bridesmaid at her wedding. She was the one who had encouraged Jenn to look into adoption. Cassie worked for an adoption agency. Jenn was sure there could never be another man whom she loved as much as she had loved Noah. But a child?

Cassie had invited Jenn over for supper when she showed her Dylan’s photograph. The young boy had already been through a lot, at a tender age. He was two when he lost both his parents in an car accident.

Jenn decided to go see him with her in-laws’ full support. It was wonderful. Time flew, as it had done when she went on walks with Noah. That meeting turned into many till Jenn went to go see him almost every day.

Jenn thought Dylan was perfect. Brown hair, blue eyes and a full smile. Just like Noah. He was witty for a four-year-old. He had a slight stammer and was a bit shy, but Jenn thought Dylan was lovely. He was very warm once he got comfortable with Jenn and looked forward to her visits. He made her laugh to her heart’s full. The adorable young boy captured Jenn’s heart.

After thinking it through and taking a lot of advice, she knew Dylan was the one. She decided to adopt him. Cassie helped her through the process.

Jenn was starting a new phase in her life. She wanted to move out of her in-laws’ place, so she bought a house some distance away, and made it a home. She filled it with all a young boy could ask for. She would never let Dylan feel want. She would love him to her utmost. Dylan would be her son. And, Noah’s son.

It would be the two of them. Mother and Son. She had found love again.

By Aarav Isaac Samuel