This Is Normal

By Quinn Hamm

Be sure to keep healthy!

Don’t worry about the cost.

Just follow these 83 steps!

You deserve the best.

You control your health!

I was 10

They said “Exercise more!” 

You’ll feel better in no time

This is normal

What do I know about 

Mental

And emotional 

Health?

I took walks

For hours

Upon hours

Every week

I was depressed. 

My thoughts spiralling down

For hours

Upon hours

Every day

But hey! 

I just wasn’t

Exercising enough

It was all my fault anyway!

I was 

10

I should’ve 

Done more

You control your health!

I was 12

They said “Drink more water”

You’re young! 

And this is normal

So what do I know about 

Migraines

And

Nausea?

I drank so

Much 

I became an ocean

Endless amounts of water

You could drown

I missed so

Much

I became stagnant 

Always in the silent dark 

You couldn’t exist

But that was all

My fault

I wasn’t drinking enough water!

Silly 12 year old me

I should’ve 

Done more

You control your health!

I was 15

They said “Try yoga”

Being calm is easy

And this is normal

So what do I know about

Anxiety

And

Intrusive thoughts?

I meditated for 

Too long

I did yoga,

Minded my breathing,

But never stopping

The feelings

I slept for

So little

I saw shadows,

Repulsed by my thoughts

And never feeling

Normal 

But that was 

All my fault

I just wasn’t

Calm enough

I should’ve 

Done more

You control your health!

I was 16

They said “Lose weight!”

Make sure to watch what you eat

And this is normal

What do I know about

Hormones

And 

Ovaries?

I ate

Fruits and vegetables

Fibre and protein

Limited sugar

And 

Happiness

I was 

in pain and agony 

My ovary the size 

Of an orange

Succulent

And 

Sour 

But it was

All my fault

I just wasn’t

Counting calories

I should’ve

Done more

You control your health

I was still 16

They said “Lower your stress”

Make more friends!

And this is normal

So what do I know about

Fatigue

And 

Chronic pain?

I went to therapy

Talked to 

My friends and family

Became on top of my work

Ahead of the curve 

I worked my first job

only one since.

I couldn’t work

Became too weak

My mind too weary

But It was

All my fault

I just had to lower

My stress

I should’ve 

done more

You control your health

I was 17

They said “Have you tried these

Supplements? They’re sure to help”

And this is normal

So what do I know about

Brain fog

And

Inflammation?

18 pills a day

Supplements saying

They could cure me

Injections of vitamins

Straight into my blood

18 hours in bed

Days blurring

They were a distant memory

Ejections of hope

Straight from my heart

But It was

All my fault

I just didn’t

Swallow enough

Vitamins

I should’ve 

done more

You control your health

I am 18

They say “Take care of

Your gut! Don’t skip

Meals!

And this is normal

What do I know about 

Nausea

And weight?

Meals became

A practice of

My limited patience 

Enough probiotics

To heal a gut

Nausea became

A constant in

My inconsistent life

Lost 15 pounds 

In one month

But it was all

My fault

I just don’t eat

right

I should do more

You control your health

I am still 18

They say “You need more 

Iron and electrolytes!

This is normal!

What do I know about

Vertigo 

And tachycardia?

Downing electrolytes

Like I’m in 

A sweltering desert.

Salting my water

To taste the sea

Overworking my heart 

Like I’m 

Completely ignorant

Losing my balance

To prove I’m not

But it is all

My fault

I am just not 

Getting enough iron

I should do more

You control your health

I am still 18

They say “IT’S YOUR FAULT

YOU’RE TO BLAME 

FOR YOUR ILLNESS

HAVEN’T YOU TRIED

ANYTHING WE 

TOLD

YOU 

TO?”

What do they know

About my life?

I tried

And tried

And tried

And tried

Health isn’t that simple

I wish it was

But This is

not my fault 

I don’t need to do more

You don’t control your health

I am 18

I say “I am chronically ill, 

Nothing will cure me yet,

I don’t need your advice.

This is my normal

By Quinn Hamm