The Unbounded Darkness

By Syeda Firdous

It’s like I’m stuck in a mirror maze

Every time I turn I find a mirror telling a truth about my soul

As I walk past every mirror I see all the darkness unfold

All the questions making me gasp for air

Where did the childhood go?

Never had any moment which felt like I belong in it

Always messed up trying to figure out where must have I gone wrong

What must have I done to learn the very dark parts of the world at a very tender age

Every girl such as I need to be dreaming of being a princess of her own world and having a castle at the age playing with her ladies and running in the farms riding the horses as such was the feeling I haven’t felt frequently as a little girl.

When ever found a little moment of contentment they only belonged with me only for seconds as such my time of happiness will be gone when it’s midnight as though I was living like a Cinderella the magic will only last till midnight.

Why can’t I seem to find no one who can accept my undressed heart why can’t I seem to find a soul who could drink the poison with all the trust but instead all I can find is that my soul being scared of every touch and breathe.

I seem to find myself afflicted, in agony most of the time . Don’t know the cause of it but can totally tell the reason of my agony as thought I’m perplexed most of the time.

Seems like my heart is in search of a soul who could fix my broken heart knowing that the person who could pick up all the shattered pieces and put them together is myself.

Might I ask nature why does one deserve all things that makes their heart so dark that when they weep all you could see is darkness

Might I ask nature where did all my childhood go?

I feel racked and the thought of it makes me scared that I might drown in my own darkness.

My agony has been like a black hole which I can’t escape where I’m on the edge and I’m to let go and there’s no coming back. At the every crack of dawn I hope to find a moment of bliss no entity could give me the warmth my soul is looking for as the nightfall comes I seem to find myself in a corner counting every euphoric moment I have ever felt my entire existence but seem to find none as the darkness take over.

By Syeda Firdous