The Trial of Hearts

By Aakanksha Sharma

After accepting the need to see one again, they met

They met at a cafe away from all that is familiar to them

It was, as bad luck would have it, a day of love around

Around them the coffee was being served

To oblivious fools in love.

No one sensed their awkward, uncomfortable silence

While they could see nothing but that

It was like a sheet of glass between them,

Visible and tempting to touch

Somehow engulfing them in embrace,

Purposely to keep them apart.

Finally he said, ‘hey’, she replied in kind

What to say next, they couldn't find

The words were lost around them, and they stared an eternity

Measuring each other, looking for weakness lurking beneath

And the signs of change that weren't apparent but there

After the mutual checking out, they sat

And silence also sat with them.

They sat there, waiting for the other to start,

To begin with the trail of their hearts.

The first 15 minutes felt like they,

Made a mistake to meet again, particularly here and today

Their hearts were bruised and abused

Broken they were but not shattered enough with pain

They were strong or that's what they thought

They were at least stupid enough to risk it all again

To meet once, even if it proved to be in vain

Gradually the topics of 'small talk' began

How are you? How is life? All questions exhausted

Appreciation of other's life stated at all times.

This was the age old habit to combat uneasiness

The result? They build up another bout of silence, together

'Together' they made the silence oppressive and overpowering

Ready to swallow them and gulp them down its throat

"I am sorry”, a whisper, riding on the air

Across the table, to be shared.

In reply, the silence loomed

Dark and darkening.

He said nothing, as if choking on the words, holding them back

But she saw the fears lurking beneath the crack

Crack in the façade he held up to protect his heart

She focused on the wind around, that whispered the arrival

Of the dreadful moment without any sound.

Suddenly lot of emotions swam into his eyes,

Amalgamating there and quitting, leaving only steeliness behind

That made her choke on the cries she held, which threatened to burst forth.

She waited, for what felt like eternity, for him to articulate his reply

And then he asked a simple question – “Why?”

She almost missed it,

Concentrated as she was on the task at hand- breathing

But hear him she did,

'Why?' he had asked her.

That question was obvious, but the answer was lost, not found

She breathed in air with a sound.

"You broke me when you left me like...” he couldn't speak

"I am sorry”, she repeated, voice weak.

​There again it descended on them both

The silence with which they were struggling to cope

It was disrupted before, now it settled again

While they were busy assessing their personal pain

Had their eyes met then, I think it wouldn't have been in vain

But since they didn't, the feelings were left unexplained.

He was able to control his tears

She was able to swallow her own

And then they looked at one another,

The abuse of their hearts finally known

He took a deep breath, her lips trembled again

He looked away, she looked down

They were trying to gather their thoughts, in vain.

A couple of breaths and a heartbeat of silence later,

She initiated the process again

This time with more voice she said, "so...”

He looked at her to complete what she didn't know.

"You left", he said with a slight accusation in his voice

She grit her teeth together, her whisper heard over the noise

"You didn't stop me, neither did you try...”

"I did what you wanted; this doesn't absolve you of your lies"

He was angry, she could sense his displeasure

But she wasn't made for bowing down, and hence replied in equal measure

"Neither does my choice should have affected yours, you never stopped me,

Never tried. Why?"

"So this is my mistake now? That you left me there, dangling like a toy?"

"If I broke your heart, I broke mine as well. Do you think in your pain I find joy?"

"This doesn't even make sense; you always wanted to leave..."

​"Maybe, but you never contradicted my belief"

The anger by then had seeped into the air,

It formed a bubble around them with intense care.

They were stating at each other again

This time with a flash of rage

The pain was finally free from the heart's cage.

She blinked then, breaking the contact,

The pain in her eyes couldn't be taken as a mere fact.

It was visible in her eyes, her shivering lips,

Her trembling body, her shaking fingertips.

He was still staring, she could feel his eyes ​

​The anxious sensation was present, but it wasn't nice.

She blinked again, and again, and then once more,

No tears were escaping, she wanted to make sure.

Had she been more collected, she might have ventured a word or two

She kept quiet instead, as it wasn't so.

​"Is this where it ends?” a whisper riding on the air,

​Across the table to be shared.

A single drop broke free,

When she nodded unknowingly.

Without thinking he reached out,

Captured that tear as she turned about.

A moment was suspended in eternity

His fingers were shaking, the tear on the tip.

Shining like a pearl in the light,

Another one edging on her upper lip.

The silence this time was agitated,

And so were their souls from being torn apart,

This was after all, the trial of their hearts.

By Aakanksha Sharma