The Strong Credences Of A Devotee Towards Her Lord

By Nusrat Jahan

‘We are seen and treated as a dirt in the society’. ‘We are the slaves of the mankind’. ‘Our main motive in life was to please and fulfill the desires of the mankind’.

This thought was drilled in my mind since I was five years old. My mother was in prostitution from the time she was a juvenile. She continued to work until death approached her. I was just six years old when my mom passed away.

Life had been loving and pleasant until mom was alive. She generally made me laugh through her childish activities. She used to make some funny faces and act like buffoons or play the role of a humorous character from a short play. She made me smile by singing lovely lullabies at night.

Even though, there were difficulties in life, sadness revolving inside our hearts and minds. However, my mother tried her level best to never let me experience any of these. Until today’s date, I still remember the last words of my mother. She told me to remember God in my prayers and to have full faith in him as God never leaves the hands of his beloved slaves.

Since the demise of my mother, my mother, my strength, my everything was my Lord. Like many other children, even I dreamt of leading a good life, getting educated and being independent. However, life wasn’t in my control and support. Life seemed to be bleak and dark.

Children of my age used to go to school for acquiring knowledge and getting educated. In my case, the process of education was slightly different from others. I was getting educated in a brothel which was my home and school both. I was taught how to dress up and look more enticing for men who visited our home.

Children of my age used to get everything they ever wanted even before they asked for it. All the expensive toys and joys of life. This was not meant for me. At such an early age, I was made to do all the household works from cleaning to washing clothes. The only service my owner rendered was ‘food on time’. She was addressed as Mrs. Mary. She was an elderly woman. She was plump and stout. She was pretty but not beautiful. Two things which kept her going was ‘makeup’ and ‘money’. She was a hard woman to live with.

Mrs. Mary made us have food on time so, we look more healthy and attractive. Moreover, if we committed any mistake, we were beaten up grievously with the steal chains which left deep scars on our bodies. They literally ripped our souls from our bodies. We were locked and kept in a cold, damp and dirty room for two to three days. There was no electricity or food provided to us at that time. There was a small window through which cold breeze would enter the room. I cried the entire day sitting in the room and prayed to God because God was my last hope and the reason behind my living in this world.

As an adult, I have learned two things which were essential for a living. First, keep doing your work sincerely and second, earn money. Time kept passing by and with time I grew up to become more mature and understanding. Now I was completely ready to enter the business which my mom had entered when she was a teen.

I was no more than public property to men. Which anyone could use, do anything as they desired and once their desires got fulfilled, they threw me on the bed and left. I was treated like an old doll, first, they played with me, then they used me, and later threw me as though I was a dirt.

The soft heart, which I once had, had now turned into a rock. It used to beat and pump blood in my body. Although, there were no emotions, feelings, and sensation left inside me. It went far away from me and my life.

People go to work in the morning and return home by evening or at night. But, in my case, our work started at night and continued until sunrise. In the morning, our home and colony looked as dull and silent as a graveyard. However, at night it was all vibrant again with lights and glamour.

Every day after my work at night, I used to go to my Lord and pray. Although, all my dreams had shattered away with time, yet I had some hopes left in a small corner of my heart. I didn’t know what was destined for me. Still, I always had one thought in my mind. I never want to take my last breath in a place where my mother took her last breath. I think life was taking its first step towards my dreams.

It was around six in the evening, I was standing on the balcony and combing my hairs. While I was combing my hairs, I heard noises of giggling and shouting of two men which were gradually coming closer to me. Out of my curiosity, when I reached out to see who it was, I saw a young gentleman who was running and coming near our home. There was a man who was chasing this young gentleman. He needed a place to hide. He saw the doors of our home open, so he thought of entering our home to escape from his friend. Just before entering our home, his both eyes fell on me, as my comb had erroneously fallen from my hands. When I looked at him, everything around me seemed to stop.

I kept staring at him, as his looks and personality were astounding and breathtaking. He was tall and slender. His hairs were black and shiny. His eyes were brown and attractive. He was fair toned. He had a French beard which suited his personality perfectly.

I gave a slight smile to him and went inside my room. Just then, he entered our home and kept seeing here and there. I am guessing his eyes were searching for me. Mrs. Mary saw him and headed him towards my room because she thought he is one of those guys who came here to enjoy and have fun. If she assumed this, she was not wrong either, after all, it was a place meant for all this.

I was heading down the stairs in a hurry to pick my comb which had fallen on the ground. Mrs. Mary saw me and caught hold of me. She told me to take the young gentlemen inside my room. I was forced to take him in. I accompanied the young gentlemen in my room and made him sit on the sofa. To my surprise, the doors of my room were shut and locked from the outside. Now both of us were alone in the room, silence surrounded the two of us. All this while, we kept looking at each other and smiled. Someone had to talk to break the silence in the room. So, I took the initiative and started to talk. It started with, ‘you don’t look like the guys who usually come to such places’. ‘You look a decent person to me’. Then, ‘what are you doing in here?’ The young gentlemen replied, ‘actually me and my friend were playing a game’. ‘He had to chase me’. ‘I ran too fast and meanwhile I was searching for a good place to hide’. ‘Eventually, I did not notice how far I came and finally, landed up here’. The girl snickered and said, ‘that’s alright’. The guy finds the girl charismatic and wanted to know more about her. He asked her, ‘you don’t look like those type of girls, then how did you land up here?’ The girl remained silent for a while. She looks out of her window and replies in a soft tone, ‘it was my destiny’. The guy understood there was a long story behind all this. He came near her and cheered her up by asking, ‘will you be my friend?’ The girl shy’s and says, ‘yes’. The guy tells her to meet him in a restaurant tomorrow at sharp 4 p.m. The girl’s exuberant face turns into pale yellow after hearing this from the guy. She replied in a muffled voice, ‘I cannot’. ‘I am not allowed to leave this place and go out’. At that moment, a wonderful idea struck the guy’s mind. He shared his idea with her. The girl liked his idea and agrees with it. The guy tells her now he must leave as its getting too late. Before leaving the room, the guy looks at the girl, smiles, and then leaves. On his way, he meets Mrs. Mary and pays her an enormous amount of cash. Mrs. Mary is startled seeing such an enormous amount and tells him, ‘this is a lot of cash’. ‘This much is not needed’. The guy tells her, ‘he wishes to take one of her girls out with him tomorrow’. Mrs. Mary asks him in an overtone, ‘who is that girl?’ He replies, ‘the one who you sent me in with’. The owner says, ‘oh!’ with a long pause, ‘that is Adriel’. Seeing such an enormous amount of cash, Mrs. Mary allows him to take Adriel out with him.

It is almost two in the afternoon and Adriel has not yet decided a dress to put on. She is bewildered as she can’t decide which dress to wear and go. She wanted to look the best version of herself as she was going out for the first time in many years. After one hour of trying different clothes, she finally decided a dress to wear. It was a long red color gown, with beautiful, glittering diamonds on the center and on the sleeves. She truly looked like a princess in that dress. She wore an artificial silver colored diamond necklace which had matching long earrings and a beautiful ring. It went perfectly with her dress. She left her golden colored hair wide open which looked like an overflowing river. Her eyes were big and captivating. Her lips were pink and glossy. Now she was all ready to go out on a date with her friend. After some five to ten minutes, the young gentlemen turned up and when he sees Adriel, he is struck for a moment seeing her beauty. She looked so stunning that it was mere impossible to get his eyes off her. Both exchanged looks and finally planned to leave. They went to a nearby restaurant where they had lots of fun. Adriel forgets to ask the young gentlemen his name and taught of asking him now. So, she asks him for his name. He replies ‘Matthias’. Such a wonderful name, with such wonderful meaning. ‘Matthias’ means the ‘gift of Lord’ and he was truly a gift of Lord who was sent by Lord for Adriel.

They had their meals together and kept talking with each other for quite a long time. This went on for several weeks. Both explored various places together, clicked selfies, had meals, late night talks, parties and much more. In a fleeting period, both came close to each other and started developing special feelings for each other which we term as ‘love’. Adriel’s beauty, her childish talks, honesty, and innocence attracted Matthias towards her. The same goes for Adriel, she was extremely open with him and loved spending time with him. His kind nature and good manners impressed Adriel. This is how both started falling for each other.

The next day, both met in a famous restaurant named ‘Jewels’. Matthias taught to himself, it was the perfect time to propose Adriel. He proposes Adriel in front of everyone. He holds her hand and tells her, he manifestly loves her. In addition to this, he said, ‘the day when I first saw you, I felt something in my heart’. ‘But at that time, I was not able to understand that feeling’. ‘I thought it was just an attraction’. ‘Although, that is not true, it is pure love’. ‘My life has become more beautiful and magical with your presence in my life’. Matthias asks Adriel, ‘do you feel the same what I feel for you?’ ‘Would you accept my love Adriel?’ Adriel smiles and says, ‘Yes I love you, Matthias.’ On hearing this, everyone in the restaurant claps and cheers for the two. After completing their meals, both head towards their home. They kept talking all their way, holding hands together. Adriel’s home was nearby, as she was heading towards her home, Matthias caught her hand and pulled her close to him. He wanted to make this moment indelible for the two to cherish later in life. So, he hugged her tightly and gave a kiss on her lips. Adriel shy’s and runs to her home. What a bad timing it was. The most unanticipated thing had happened. The owner, Mrs. Mary sees the two hugging and kissing. After seeing such a scenario, Mrs. Mary gets annoyed and calls Adriel and tells her to meet her in her room the next morning. Adriel was ecstatic that following day. She jumped up and down the room in joy, sang songs and danced on the bed in love. She was high and mad in love. She thanked God for giving her such a precious diamond in the form of a human, which was ‘Matthias’. The following night she slept most peacefully.

The poor girl did not know what was waiting for her the next morning. The next day, she goes and meets Mrs. Mary in her room. Mrs. Mary was indignant that day. In a harsh tone, she told Adriel to sit on the chair and to listen carefully to what she was about to say. ‘You belong here, with me.’ ‘Girls like us don’t see dreams of guys, a good life and home.’ She kept adding more to this, ‘all this is not meant for us.’ ‘Our only motive in life is to allure the men and satisfy their needs.’ She clenched her shoulders hardly and went close to her and told her ‘you are a black spot, a dirt.’ ‘How did you even think of getting in a relationship?’ ‘You are a slave and slaves do not dream of freedom and a good life.’ ‘I hope I made my self-clear to you’ said the aged women in a strident tone. Adriel replied her in a soft tone, ‘yes Mrs. Mary.’ Mrs. Mary kept droning on further, ‘from now on you are not going to meet him, neither are you going out anywhere.’ ‘Now go to your room’ instructed the cruel women. Adriel runs towards her room, shuts the door and weeps. Mrs. Mary’s harsh words had pierced deep inside her delicate heart. She felt solitary and heartbroken. She stayed in her room the entire day. Mrs. Mary knew she was perturbed and not in her senses. The crooked women took advantage of this and sent most of the customers in her room. Men who visited her room came to know she was upset. They too took great advantage of her. She was used by men and later thrown at one corner of the bed. All this while, she kept silent. She looked dull and dead like an aged woman in her last times.

On the other hand, Matthias was getting tensed for Adriel as he kept calling her day and night. But there was no response. So, he rushed to meet her. But the wicked women didn’t allow him to meet her. He beseeched and requested her a lot. He gave bundles of cash in her hand. He tried his level best to convince her. At last, she got convinced. However, she told him he could meet her just for two hours and then he must leave. Matthias agrees to it and headed towards Adriel’s room. He opens the door of the room and sees her sitting on the bed with her head down. He comes near her and calls ‘Adriel are you fine?’ She looks at him but does not react to him.

He questioned her, ‘why you didn’t pick up my call?’ ‘I called you so many times, but you didn’t bother to respond back to me.’ ‘I got so anxious for you my love.’ ‘So, I hastened towards your home to see if you were alright.’ ‘Where had you been Adriel?’ He came near her, took her hand and placed on his palm. He requested her to reply to his questions. She took her hands off him. She went and stood near the window pane. She looked outside the window and remained silent. Matthias got annoyed. He caught her tightly and once again asked her the same question, ‘what the matter is, Adriel?’ in a harsh tone. He insisted her to reply to him. ‘You did not talk to me, from the day I proposed you.’ ‘Don’t you love me Adriel?’ Adriel started weeping on hearing this and said, ‘I do love you, Matthias.’ ‘But my presence in your life is not good for you and your future.’ ‘I am not the perfect match for you.’ She tells in a soft tone, ‘I am a dirt and I belong here.’ ‘For some time, I had forgotten everything.’ ‘I was mad in love and started dreaming more than usual, more than my limits.’ ‘I was not ready to understand anything.’ ‘I literally forgot everything; my image, my real place, everything.’ ‘But now I am in my senses and I know this is where I belong.’ Moreover, ‘if you stay with me, your life, reputation, and career all will get ruined forever.’ ‘I don’t want you to…’ Matthias interrupts her in between and asks her ‘have you said what you wanted to say?’ ‘Now shall I speak?’ He spoke in a grating voice. Adriel remained silent. ‘Who told you that you are a dirt and you don’t belong with me?’ ‘Who said you can’t be my life partner?’ Matthias continues to speak and tries to make Adriel understand how precious she is. ‘Adriel, you are not a dirt, but you are a beautiful, blooming lotus.’ ‘Even after staying in the dirt, you are clean and pure.’ ‘Your heart and soul are so crystal clear that I could look through it.’ ‘You are my lovely lotus and always will be.’ ‘I want this lovely lotus to be with me forever because now I cannot live without it.’ ‘I promise you that I will always be with you, no matter what.’ ‘You will never be alone from now on, I will always be by your side to love you and protect you.’ ‘Adriel, you are my bright sun in the morning, my setting sunset in the evening and my adorable moon at night.’ ‘I love you the most.’ Matthias asked Adriel, ‘will you marry me?’ Adriel runs to him swiftly. She hugs him tight and says, ‘yes I will.’ They hug each other and cry in joy. Matthias wipes her tears off and tells her to listen carefully to him. ‘I have a plan.’ ‘If we want to stay together and have a good life in future, we have to do this.’ ‘We both have to elope from here.’ ‘Tonight, after I leave, get all your bags packed and be ready.’ ‘Tomorrow early morning at 4.am when everyone is in deep sleep, come out of your room with your luggage and wait for me outside your home.’ ‘I will be standing there and waiting for you to come.’ ‘After that day, you never have to look back at your past.’ ‘Get it out of your mind forever.’ ‘We will start a new life together.’ He holds her hand and tells her, ‘Adriel, I promise you, I will turn all your bad days and bad memories into your good days and give you beautiful memories to cherish all your life.’ He heard the loud scream of Mrs. Mary. She told him, his time was up. He must leave right now. Matthias goes close to Adriel and tells her, ‘please don’t be afraid, just believe in me.’ ‘I love you so much.’ He kisses her on her forehead and then leaves.

The next day, Adriel packs all her bags and keeps it ready. She behaves normally with everyone, meets and greets everyone with smiles on her way. Finally, that night came which she had been eagerly waiting for several years. She thanks God for giving her the greatest gifts of life which was ‘Matthias’. She promises herself and God, she will try her level best to be the perfect match for him. She will keep loving him throughout her life. After her prayers got over, she picks up her luggage, opens the door and then shuts it carefully without making any noise.

She carries her luggage down the stairs with utmost conscience and finally, she reaches her destination. She opens the door and sees ‘Matthias’ in front of her eyes, who was eagerly waiting for her. Matthias gets off his car, takes her luggage and puts in the car. Both sat in the car and went far away from that home, that place and country forever. They promised each other to never look back as they had a beautiful life ahead which was waiting for them. The darkness which once haunted Adriel had now gone far away from her and her life. All she could see was a new ray of light which bought hopes and happiness for the two. They went to Malaysia and got settled over there. They got married and spent their most beautiful moments together over there. Adriel thanks God every day for the blessings and happiness he bestowed over her. She never thought in her wildest dreams, her life could be so loving and magical. She thanked God for making all her wishes come true. She had always dreamt of being educated and independent. Now, she had the chance and opportunity of fulfilling her this dream as well. She works hard and puts all her efforts in her studies. After several years, she is now a well-educated and an independent woman. She officially published her first book with the title ‘The strong credence’s of a devotee towards her Lord’.

By Nusrat Jahan