The Story of Life, Death And Reincarnation

By Malvika

Readers, today I present to you a piece of my heart, not for you to Snatch it away but to keep your own pieces over it to make it a monument of our collective love and loss.

This is how I recollect it.

(2017) Bhawna called Monal in a fit of terror and exclaimed “I was so wrong when I told you I understand what you may have felt after losing your brother, I didn’t, but I do now!!” “Ishan has fallen off a cliff while returning from Gangotri on his bike and they can’t find him anywhere. Please pray for his safety”. She started bawling before she could end this and Monal's believing reassurance of his safety and return comforted her tears but not her frenzy of wild apprehension.

(2016) Monal was Dipanshu’s Sister. Bhawna met Dipanshu while on a solo trip to Parvati Valley, to her he seemed like a very reserved and she puzzled over why but a very sad fellow. It was around Diwali that year and she was in charge of taking care of a home stay Cafe "Peace”. They were about to close down for the season and had a very few guests staying with them, having more would have helped them to close the books on a good account.

Dipanshu and his friend Sonu were clueless while trekking up the Kalga village, she happened to meet them on her stroll and inquired if she could help them in any way. Bhawna accompanied them till the village and suggested lodging at the home stay where she was accommodated as a temporary manager. She was winsome and ebullient with life, open for a conversation and made an instant connection with them, they agreed to stay at peace.

It was already Twilight and the sky had shot up to Gazillions of stars which looked so Unreal without the moon to diminished their glow and attention that one couldn't help being a star gazer. Deepanshu said "You know you can notice a shooting star in this sky very often" Sonu then suggested a game for them to say a word each till they witness a shooting star and all of them had taken turns to say all sorts of random names and funny words. Something within her heart itched and she felt that this is not what is going to make it happen and she said "Silent” and there, they saw it shoot right through the sky like magic and it made them silent. In that moment she believed what they heard as a children that when a group in conversation suddenly fell silent, that is because Angels pass through them at the moment. She believed in that moment for Angels to have crossed their way, a fluttering cold breeze that accompanied their silence, affirmed it. It was 23rd of October, also her brother's 23rd birthday and in 23 years of togetherness it was the first birthday that she hadn't wished him. The village was lit up with Diyas and candles as the electricity was down in the village for last 15 days.

(2017) Her father and uncle had already left for Gangotri to search for him, she felt so angry and frustrated to have been left behind but also needed to comfort and reassure her family especially her mother. Bhawna felt dizzy with the sudden weight of responsibility for she wanted to fly to Bhairav Ghati, howl Out her brother's name and search for him.

(Past)Her brother loved her more than her parents and always looked forward to her as an ideal, friend and a comrade. She recalled how they would sneaked out of the house together at 4 AM in their holidays to explore the nearby fields and wilderness. They used to make stories about what lay beyond

those mist clogged mango orchards and sneak around the ancient and supposedly haunted Banyan tree, silent and respectful to not anger the Spirits that may encircle it. In those moments of sublime they were convinced that the ocean and mountains are just beyond those smoggy trees if only they became good enough to be part of the occult of those mysterious whispering woods.

(2016)After introducing Dipanshu to the owner of Peace to help them check in. Bhawna went to the kitchen to look at the preparation of food for the guests staying at Peace. (Oh I forgot to mention that it was not actually a solo trip for she had her dog Pickhku accompanying her) While she was in the kitchen she heard a frantic, almost inhuman wailing of Sonu calling out for Dipanshu. Her knees almost jolted in dread for she suspected that something very bad had happened.

(2017) The feeling was similar to how she felt when Saurav, one of Ishan's friend who went with him called her and as soon as she heard him say “Di I’m Saurav” his voice made her intuition go wild and before he could tell her anything she blurted at him “Where is Ishan? Why are you calling me and not him?” “Di Ishan has fallen off a cliff and we can't find him anywhere” Her heart shuddered within and whatever he said after that seemed like coming from a distant Echo. She roared at him to find her brother at any cost but knew that Hell had let itself lose on them.

(Past) During childhood they were inseparable in adventures, there were days when they had simply taken a train ticket to Delhi and explored the parks and forts and came back by evening.

Adulthood is shit and they didn’t even realize where that divide came from but they had stopped travelling together.

(2017) He had recently landed a good job and wanted to take a trip before he started it. He requested Bhawna to convince their mother to send him. Only she knew that they were going on a motorcycle.

In the recent past Bhawna had become ignorant, selfish, frustrated and angry because of her unsatisfactory career. She had surrounded herself with toxic people whom she was always trying to please. Ishan was like Shiv, taking all her negative energy, he had become a repository of all her anger and frustration. Sometimes that really hurt him so much that his eyes were filled with tears and in that moment she could do anything in the world not to have a single tear drop in her baby brother's eye, they always reconciled and she always promised him to be better, to always break the promise again.

(2016) As she rushed up the stairs she saw Deepanshu lying limp and Sonu trying to revive him by slapping and punching him wildly, the sight and sound were so horrific that soon the cafe was full of people and guests from neighboring home stays. Her instincts which were mostly right commanded her to give him a chest push but her foreboding had always being ignored by the toxic people that she had befriended which caused her defense mechanism to create a wall around her to protect her sagacity from being ignored by unsharring those insights. She shushed herself for the fear of being wrong and causing more harm than help, she did not even ask anyone else to do it and thought maybe they knew better than her. Someone hurriedly checked his pulse, it was still fleeting with life. The nearby hospital was 23 km from the road which was a steady Trek down. Everyone decided to call an ambulance and for

help to arrive there. Bhawna disregarded her instinct again which pleaded her to order them to not wait but take him to the nearby hospital immediately without a moment of delay. The local doctor someone had called had asked them to wait.

Dipanshu was turning cold and in nervous anxiety she was not even able to monitor his Pulse. Sonu was helpless and relied on her for comfort. She wanted him to call his parents to know if something could be done in this condition but their phone was already dead with no electricity in the village and Sonu was not in the condition to call anyone, not knowing what to do she went with the majority opinion, to wait. It was late by the time help arrived and the first thing they did was to give him chest push. There was no pulse and he was declared dead, just like that.

“ It was too late, he should have been taken to the hospital immediately” the attendant said.

She cursed herself for listening to people and mansplaining, always ignoring the primordial knowledge of intuition. Sonu looked pale as a ghost, she accompanied him to the hospital in the ambulance holding those dead cold hands, praying for a miracle to happen but the shooting star had already passed on to a different realm, the angels had come to take him away.

(2017) Bhawna had realized that she had been noxious to her brother and shortly before he left for his travel they had reconciled for good. She let him vent his emotions and anger on her and this time she was the one who contained it, she was the one whose eyes were filled with tears of remorse for the amount of hurt she had caused to her little baby brother. He hugged her as soon as he saw those tears and said “It's okay, now we will be good” and she promised herself that she will make it up to him and next time she travel he will be coming along and they were good.

On 23rd April the day Ishan left, Bhawna called him back to the gate and hugged him goodbye, kissed his cheek and asked him to “Go safely” and went back to her room to complete the travelogue.

(2016) The hospital staff tried to revive Dipanshu but their efforts were useless. His family had already started from Delhi, Bhawna could not take it anymore and slipped away from the hospital for Kalga, took the first bus from Manikaran to Barshaini, reached Kalga and packed her bags for home, the trip was over. Those colossal cascading mountains had lost their charm to hold her anymore.

From Chandigarh she took a train for Meerut, Ishan came to receive her and Pichku at the station. On seeing him she could not help but fly to smother him with hugs and kisses. She declared “I love you so much brother, I am sorry for hurting you, I couldn't possibly live without you!! Please forgive me and we will start all over again and I will be good” but failed to keep her word again.

(2017) An entire day went by before they could reach the spot where his bike had fallen off, the search operation halts at the night in the mountains. It's funny that even in the greatest of catastrophes the body still functions according to its need and they needed to eat, drink, and sleep to keep it going. Their house was full of swarms of relatives who came to compose them as soon as the news reached

everyone. Bhawna was shattered from within but still had to keep a brave face for her mother believing that he will return and they will be happy and whole again.

2nd the day of the search NDRF couldn't find him although they found another man who had fallen a day before him and no one even had any information about him, they revived him. On the third day of the search NDRF recovered his bag, bike, flip flops, and yet no sign of him. Those nonliving things had a better lifespan than a living breathing person.

(2016) Bhawna did not have a multimedia phone with her and it was the first time in 2 months she was going to check her Facebook account after returning from Himachal. She recollects that day as 23rd of December because as soon as she logged in, her Id was surged with friend requests and from those one was of Dipanshu and another from his sister Monal. When she opened Dipanshu's wall after accepting his friend request, It informed her that it was his birthday. She also had a chunk of messages from his sister along with a message that had a picture of her with a sibylline caption. She immediately recalled that Dipanshu had taken a picture of her and Pichku, while conversing she told him that she wrote travelogues and one was titled “In the night the stormy night away she flied” he had typed it on his phone to remember it and captioned it along with her photograph. Almost 2 months had passed and it must not be a coincidence that she happened to check it on his birthday, that too a date shared with him by Bhawna and Ishan (23). She replied to her messages right away and shared her number for her to call.

(2017) Bhawna was losing inches by days, her heart sank with each passing day. Day 4 the NDRF divers will search for him in the Bhagirathi river.

Bhairon Ghati is a steep and Rocky Gorge situated 10 km from Gangotri Glacier in Uttarkashi district, surrounded by dense Jungle and gigantic rocks. Flowing in between is Bhagirathi river, one of the major tributaries of Ganga. It’s an 800 meter drop.

On returning his friends were surrounded by the mob when they came to visit us, some believed them to have caused it. Her mother did not want to see their faces but she knew that they were going through a trauma that may not be equal to her in quantity but far Greater in quality.

Saurav narrated the accident that caused it. Ishan was riding the bike all through the trip, Nishanth was his pillion. Saurav and Lakshay were on the other bike, they were returning from Gangotri. When they reached Bhairav Ghati which is on a hair pin bend an army truck closed in on them from the opposite side, the driver forgetting to blow horn took them by surprise. While Saurav slide his motorbike on the mountain side, Ishan slid to the cliff side. He was stable but as he started to move forward he turned back in panic to look out for the safety of his friends on the other bike. In that fraction of second he lost control and his bike skid on the gravel and went down the Cliff, Nishant had slipped along him but he manage to hold on to roots of some plants while Ishan went down with the weight of motorcycle. The truck driver halted at the commotion and the passenger soldiers recovered Nishanth immediately. Ishan was nowhere to be found.

Even in that moment of uncertainty he was concerned about the safety of his friends that was his character.

(2016) Monal called her up the same day, she was swamped with emotions and wanted to know all about how her brother was feeling. That is when Bhawna came to know the reason of her presumption

of him being melancholy in first impression. He had married the girl he loved but their relationship was very problematic as she had taken up an extra marital affair and was constantly extorting money from him and his family or they will be framed for Dowry and domestic abuse. Bhawna promised her to meet their family. They stayed in touch and she said “I understand what you may be going through.” Although She didn’t ,no one does until they go through something similar.

(2017) They were relieved and a spark of hope arose when the divers did not find him in the river. “He is safe, and will return home” she embalmed her mother with her words “ I will take up a job in the same vicinity and I will stay with my brother” but there were two voices within her the latter gave her Jitters, it said “I am gone Dear sister Please do not hold on to me, Let me go” that night her mother dreamt of him covering one side of his face with a white Gamcha trying to navigate out his way along the banks of a river.

5th and 6th day of the search even the ITBP couldn't locate him but they found remains of others who had fallen of the Cliff two years prior to that incident. Their parents will now be able to cremate their remains, their search had ended.

(2016) Bhawna had planned on writing the travelogue as soon as she came back from Himachal but procrastinated it till the next year. She was a new person after she reconciled with Ishan and it was after him probing her to do it she completed it in 4 parts to get it published on a website. 4th part was published the day he left for his trip.

(2016) For her birth day in the beginning of that year Bhawna and Ishan visited the fields they used to wander as children. Those magnificent trees were being cut for plots to be marked. The sight disgusted them into an abysmal fear. It was all Barren and lifeless, the trees they had almost worshipped as children lay cut and dead. They later got into a fight she was responsible for and he blurted out, hurt “You promised you will always be good to me after Monal lost her brother, you always break your promises”

(2017) The ITBP was futile in it’s mission the 6th and 7th day. Bhawna's mother was a very religious lady so she had lit up an Akhand Zyoti till her son was found. That night in her dream she saw it going off, as she hurried downstairs to check it, We woke up to her shriek, the temple wood had caught fire by itself and the Diya was extinguished.

It was either a God given insight or energy that made the NDRF, Army and ITBP join hands in this mission. Ishan is the humblest of humble souls and everyone had made up their mind to find him. The best of Mountain engineers had formed a team along with two experts from the Boston College of Mountain engineering who were there for a research in Himalayas. All the funds required in the rescue were approved by The Government of India, they had also approved a helicopter so that he could immediately be taken to the Jolly Grant hospital for intensive care.

The wait for her brother made Bhawna a different person altogether, she realised how much she loved her family. She was their pillar of strength, everyone turned to her when their minds were juggled with the fear of unknown. She was furious at anyone who tried to tell her that the chances of his survival were grim.

9th day of the rescue he was recovered, God be Merciful they told them that he was critical but alive. There was something skeptical about the way everyone was telling her that the chances of his survival

are very low but she was reassured. “If God had taken him out of that hell hole with life still in him it can't take it away now, it would have taken his life then but not now” Those nine days their family cow stopped mooing for food, Pichku didn’t bother anyone to play with her, the community dogs had stopped barking at anything and she was bedazzled at the emotional intelligence of animals which was far greater and more sensitive than humans.

There was something peculiar about that day, more and more relatives started to flock their home. There was no single space left for anyone to even sit properly.

That night Bhawna and her mother wanted some privacy to talk about Ishan so they got a cot laid out on the terrace. “We will leave early in the morning for Dehradun, we will be with him while he recovers” they comforted each other. No one bothered them in that moment of solidarity. Sleep engulfed them in it’s kind repose.

Her eyes opened all of a sudden to behold a star like thing swaying in the sky right above them, too close to be a star and swinging like a child moves in it’s mothers arms. I woke up my mother and we both gazed at that “thing” in the sky. It was neither a spacecraft not an aircraft, not even a lantern, it was something like she had never seen before. She assured her mother that it was a sign for his well being but something in her heart twitched within and she didn't allow her brain to communicate anything to her heart, watching it they both dozed off again. They were woken up by a relative. Bhawna's father was returning, “Why is he returning when my brother is in the hospital” She snapped at her. Everything blacked out in front of her eyes.

(Past) Ishan and Bhawna had invented this game with their oldest and favorite quilt which had not been stuffed with fresh cotton since its Inception thus it has places where there was no cotton making it translucent in places. They would glide it over and make cyclical movements inside it with their hands making sure it remained covered from all sides. It was them going to the Great Kailash, the light from outside made the translucent holes attract it and the algae green cover over it made those holes look cryptic, giving it an emerald and mossy hue. Yes it was their Kailash Parvat, they could meet Nandi and if lucky Shiv and Parvati in person. They were brother and sister in innocence without being ascribed the society’s anxiety.

(2017) Her little cousin came to her and started crying vehemently putting her little arms around her neck, her father was returning with her brother's body. Someone's brother, son, grandson, cousin, to be husband and father had become a body. Her family except she and her mother knew all along. His breath stopped the moment he fell from the Cliff in Cardiac arrest, knowing that he will die. Remembrance of that fraction of second when her brother came to know that he will die was the most painful for her. All her relatives and friends were trying to give her clue when his body was recovered. But they dared not shatter her hope, her belief.

That star was her brother’s soul that had come to bid goodbye to it’s sister and mother. His friends later related to her that the night before his fall, he was inquisitive about the Universe and what lay beyond death. He inquired weather they believed in after life and reincarnation?

My dearest Readers, Do you believe in reincarnation? Did Ishan reincarnate after all? Did Bhawna get to be with her brother? What happens after life? Well that is another story, and I’m sure that you will witness the end.

By Malvika