The Reds And The Yellows On The Wet Dark Roads

By Yasmin

I was returning to my place back from work on a tuesday night when it happened. My heart was both heavy and empty — the irony of it still an impending question and I walked through the subways, buildings, art studios and random strangers and caught myself standing in the cafe we first laid our eyes on each other, on us. It was raining hard and I had to halt so I wanted to go into it and reminisce the time of my life past. It felt intense to even hold the knob because of the electrifying chills that had been passive in me watch me go to a place that it is still not over with and I had to fight with all my might to get in there. I could see a young couple tasting the coffee and each other’s lips and an old woman enjoying her own company in the corner and I took a seat by the window to let the winds brush my mind and heart. I ordered a sandwich and a latte and I wrote a lot that day. I didn’t know I still had it in me to write this

much. I wrote about the tiny moments to huge heart aches we faced being in each other’s lives. We were good but too strong for one another. We were the clouds that would overlap and make the other go unnoticed. There was so much missing in the bond that I ran out of the names and started to focus on the roots of the relationship and couldn’t find any. It all comes down to one single thing in the end, “The freedom to be oneself and to enjoy sharing our lives with one another but it ended up to be this scary in-secured ensnared life”. Somebody should have had the nerve to quit it and so I took it up and was ready to face the emotional repercussions than to swing this life wrenching rollercoaster. I am glad I quit us because I am all for myself now and I can see what was being held back. When I left the cafe past midnight, I left it all in those red and yellows on the dark wet roads — the letters, the postcards, the guilt, the weariness and you. It could have been the one but you wouldn’t be the one and so I had to and that was the hardest I had to do in this life.

By Yasmin