The Rainbow He Wished

By Jeeva Jijo

They say the blue sky,

They say the red sun,

They say the pale moon,

But I only knew,

The dark deep night black.

How black can it get anyway?

I didn’t know.

But now I do.

When will I see him again, I-

Don’t know that truly.

It’s his lights in me.

It’s his colours in me, I-

Don’t know if  he is aware, I-

Don’t know if he still has them. Did-

He share them with me, or did I-

Did I take them away from him?

I don’t know if he is alive.

He could be, he must be.

Even on those days, when I-

Was lacking my colours,

My vividness and my essence, I-

Was still alive.

Wasn’t I?

I was, but barely.

Even when I'm happy,

The thoughts do trigger me!

Nature is beautiful,

The flower blooms pretty,

As I stare and I feel,

I can’t believe it still,

I know I can see,

How it is, I say

As it is.

Did I steal it from him?

My blood, now I see-

Is bright intense red.

This is what colours look like.

The rainbow which stayed

As a mystery, misery to me.

How glad humans stared up above?

It is really that great!

The symbol of trust and belief.

The sign of colour and life

I wished for it more than anything.

Now I am at sea.

Who was he?

Monochrome destiny

Decided what was for me.

Was he-?

I thought my world will stay grey forever.

I never had a thing to hope about.

But as you read in stories,

As you see in movies,

One day, on that day-

I saw him,

The colour of my eyes,

My world lit up,

His orphic aura,

Never did I know.

My world became 

Colourful cause of him.

His world became monochrome 

Cause of me?

He stood in front of me,

He gazed at me.

Straight through me.

I never knew him, haven’t-

Seen him even once before, but-

His presence was hurting my veins.

I could hardly breathe, mallets-

Pulsating upon me, shivs-

Piercing right through me, but-

Strangely, I was delighted.

I was seeing colours for the first time,

Freedom was embracing my iris.

But he never smiled.

Eternal, his colours,

And then I stood,

Staring cause no, I

Didn’t know what to do.

I blinked again, and then again.

I still found it hard to accept-

There are lights in my eyes.

I closed my eyes again,

But when I opened them back again,

I was shaking, I-

Saw him fading away.

His colours stayed with me!

My colours, monochrome and sad

Left me forever, without asking.

And then I knew that, 

He gave me the colours,

They beautiful, cause of him.

Though not, as much as his existence.

Even though precious to my life.

The clandestine need of mine,

To see him once again,

I shall return his colours if I-

Had taken them away from him.

I can’t feel why but for some reason,

His colours are far more important,

To me than my own.

I’ve only seen him once but I’m-

Willing to seek him. 

Cause now I realize,

That I took them away!

Back then, I forgot but-

Now it's vivid in my memory.

He gave me the rainbow I wished.

I took away the rainbow he might have wished.

Now, I shall give it back to him.

By Jeeva Jijo