The Numb Pain

By Aishu Rittika

My head hurts.

Not the searing pain

Which you have a need to fix

With a tablet or a steam.

It's this dull, numb pain

Like a hangover

After a late night's party.

Blinking my eyes

Feels like a lot of work.

My eyes hurt

My gut hurts.

Everytime I smile

Everytime I laugh

It hurts.

Something in me

Asks me to stop.

To stop smiling

To stop laughing.

This pain

This numb pain

Is engulfing me

From the inside.

It's eating me

From the inside out.

I wanna puke

But there's nothing in me

To puke out.

I felt so good last night

As soon as the smiley tablet

Went inside of me,

Merged and became one with me.

It was like this ever hanging

Dark grey cloud

At the top of my head,

Lifted off.

I felt easy

I felt happy.

I was able to feel

True joy.

For a few minutes

I was able to

Breathe easy.

For a few minutes.

And then I fell asleep.

And now

Now I feel

Like I wanna puke

Like my eyes just wanna 

Shut close

Like my fingers just wanna

Stop typing

And just sleep

A deep, deep sleep

And never wake up again.

By Aishu Rittika