The Me In You

By Subhagata Chowdhury

“Tell him to wait outside. I am in the middle of something important.”

Without wasting a single moment Dr. Anita curtly hung up the telephone. It has been a busy morning. On other days the influx of the patients is rather quite moderate. However today it was a bit exceptional. On any given day of the week she has a maximum appointments of 8 to 10 patients, throughout the day. For a psychiatrist to expect appointments like a general physician is not the norm. Not many people are aware about their mental health and even if they are, they find consulting a psychiatrist a waste of time and money. But today it seemed the people had thought otherwise. She almost had 20 appointments throughout the day.

Dr. Anita looked at the wall clock. It was half an hour past seven in the evening. She saw the last patient twenty five minutes ago. She was musing over whether she should check up on this new patient or should she just leave for home. After giving it a bit of thought she decided to check on him though her head was already aching from hearing so many complaints throughout the day. But first she decided to finish the coffee. A cup of strong black coffee really helped her calm her nerves down. After about five more minutes she finished her coffee. Picked up the telephone on and called at the front desk to send the man inside the room. She again wore her glasses, opened her notepad, took a pen, uncapped it and began waiting for the person to come in.

A short while later there was a knock on the door.

“Come in”

In walked a man. He walked sluggishly towards the doctor’s desk. Dr. Anita looked at the man with a fixed look. He was not much tall, maybe a 5’8 at best but he looked shorter because he had a slouching posture. The man must be around 23 to 24 years old. His hair and beard were all a mess. They hadn’t been trimmed in a long time. Also he had a scar on his left cheek. His eyes were sunken deep. The eyes had a void gaze. It felt like they were seeing everything and nothing at the same time. From up close he really looked emaciated. It felt like he has not eaten a single thing for weeks. His lips were cracked. His clothes were untidy too. The sleeves of his shirt were torn at places. It didn’t take long for Dr. Anita to understand that the person standing in front of him has had some severe issues.

“Take a seat”

The man patiently obeying the doctor, sat down on the hydraulic chair on the opposite side of the table.

“Ok, so before we start, would like some water?”

“No thanks. I am fine.”

“Well then. Let us start. What is your name and age?”

“Vijay Das – 23 years old”

“Nice to meet you Vijay. So, tell me, what brings you here?”

“Doctor, please when I say this, plea…please don’t think I am a maniac, because I…I am not. I am a perfectly s…sane person. I just don’t know why it had to happen with me! I am going crazy thinking about it. I…I am…I just don’t know what to do! Pl…please save me doctor!”

Dr. Anita was quite taken aback by this sudden outburst. Even though it was a very common reaction, but the man sitting in front of her didn’t seem like it was anything normal. Dr. Anita calmed her nerves down, adjusted her glasses and said in a very assuring voice,

“Listen Vijay, this chamber, this a safe space. You can say anything that is troubling you. I am here to help you. And no one is going to judge you. So please, allow me to help you. Say, what is it that is making you feel like this?”

Vijay visibly calmed down a lot and heaved a sigh before speaking. He looked at the doctor for a short while making sure she was listening. The doctor was waiting patiently. Finally breaking the silence he said,

“Doctor, I…I killed myself!”

***

7th February, 2022.

Vijay checked his watch. It read twenty five minutes past four in the afternoon. He stood by the fence that overlooked the big pond. The fence came up to his waist. He liked leaning over it and have the fresh air blow against his face. It was something that he had enjoyed ever since he was a child. Back then he used to come here with his grand-dad. Now, after his grand-dad’s death back in 2016, he just frequents this place without any companion.

Standing there he was thinking about that day’s interview. He was pretty content with himself. It had just been a few months that he had completed his graduation majoring in business administration. Even though the job was not something that would compensate his hard work with some big bucks, but it would be enough for a beginner. Moreover a single person didn’t need much to rely on. His home only comprised of him and some non-breathing furniture. Some of them harbored intense memories for him. Like his father’s favorite sofa seat, and the ashtray, and his mother’s armchair. 2020 really did hit him like no other. Both his parents lost their lives to covid. From then on he has always been in a daze. He always felt that his grasp over his life was continuously diminishing. And even after appearing sane to himself for the most part of the day, he knew in his heart that he was gradually getting paranoid. He always saw shadows and heard voices. But he didn’t pay much attention to these feelings. He just avoided them as the tricks of his mind. But one thing, one particular feeling he was unable to shrug off. For the past couple of days he is having this lingering sensation that he is being followed by a certain someone. And as of now, while leaning over the fence and gazing at the pond, he felt as if two eyes were constantly glued on him.

Vijay had always been aware of his surroundings. He tried to observe everything going around him. He had very responsive senses. No matter where he was he always tried to be cognizant enough. And his sharp senses made him aware that no matter what, it won’t be very beneficial for him to call this person out. The more he thought about it the more he grew tense and his throat became as dry as sand. He tried to clear his mind and began surfing the internet on his phone. After a while, he shoved the phone in his pocket and began walking towards his home.

After about a 20 minutes’ walk he entered that desolate place, which had once been his home. A place where he felt that he never belonged to after that fateful incident. He felt he was just mooching off of the memories of the lost ones and that made him feel even more worthless. For a moment he forgot that he was probably being followed by someone. He kept his bag down, stripped himself off his clothes and went inside the washroom. After freshening himself up, he sat down – tired and…just tired. In such a big world he was alone, alone like a leaf on a dead bear tree. The only hope he had now was this job and he really wanted this one. If anything were to happen otherwise, then he would…

Vijay slipped into his world of dreams.

The wall clock chimed with a resounding gong as the hour hand hit eight in the evening. Vijay was still asleep. Everything in his house was dead silent. The only sound that was audible was the ‘tick-tock’ ‘tick-tock’ of the clock. The chairs were in their place. No movement. All the things were as still as they could be. The lights were all turned off. The shadows dominated every crevice of the house. Outside the house, it was mostly vacant, not many people were out. The street lights warded off the shadows. But a single person, shrouded in all black and wearing a mask and gloved hands approached Vijay’s house. He couldn’t have been any taller than Vijay and also appeared to be around his age. His physical structure was also quite similar to that of Vijay’s. He silently approached the front door which was bolted from inside. Rang the doorbell a few times but there was no response. He spent a couple of seconds and then slid in a note from underneath the door.

The stranger left.

***

22nd April, 2022.

Vijay had got the job and was glad because it provided a gateway to him, to keep his mind away from all the intrusive thoughts. From the morning till the evening he worked hard and when required he even did overtime. He always wanted to keep himself occupied with work. By the time he reached home, it would be pretty late and he would eat something and go to sleep. Yet he was very much troubled by this particular stranger that had been following him. The note that he had found lying on the ground in front of his main door a few days ago, made him sick to his stomach. Not much was written on the paper. It simply read

“I can see you Vijay. You will not get out of it alive.”

“Who could have made such a sick joke?” That was what he had thought at first. But after the first note, many a times he had heard footsteps in around his property at night. At times even stones and rocks were thrown at his residence. And all of these occurred at the dead of night. Once he thought of informing the police but, apart from that one single vague note, he didn’t have any other conclusive proof. And the police in these rural areas didn’t work with any seriousness or diligence at all. So he decided to take the matters in his own hands. One night Vijay was determined to get a hold of the person. He was ready to confront him. He did not care much about his safety.

It was at least better than being pushed to the edge of paranoia. He had framed a plan of what to do.

That night he waited in his backyard. He waited for the perfect moment for the perpetrator to appear and hurl stones at his residence. The stone-pelter had already shattered all his windows. He waited with baited breath. He checked his watch – fifteen minutes to two at night. Any minute now. He gripped the handle of his cricket bat firmly. And just as he had expected, after about five minutes, a man did appear. Covered in all black, and had physical attributes very identical to himself.

Without any moment’s delay, Vijay lunged after him, swinging the bat like a maniac. The stranger took notice of this sudden movement. Even though he was taken aback by Vijay’s sudden onslaught, he was fast with his legs. Vijay’s bat hit the air uselessly and the stranger took this chance to make a run for it. But Vijay wasn’t about to give up. He darted after him. Vijay was quite confident in his speed. He was after all the fastest runner in the district. In 2019, he had won the district championships. But this person was just faster than him. And it seemed that he was aware of the by lanes of the locality. He was quick. Finally, Vijay gave it his last shot and threw the cricket bat at the stranger aiming for his head. But it struck his leg. It did manage to get him though. The man fell face first on the ground. But before he could get up, Vijay jumped on the person and engaged himself in a ground battle. He was trying to gain an upper hand on the person lying below. He pinned the stranger’s hand down with his knees and punched real hard on his face and the person shrieked in pain. Vijay caught the person’s mask and yanked it off of his face. What he saw shook him in his entirety. He was not expecting anything like this. He thought he was in some dream and was entirely paralyzed to think of something. The person lying down with a bleeding nose looked exactly like Vijay. It was as if the person was Vijay’s twin brother. But even twins have some distinguishable features. This person and Vijay were absolutely identical.

The stranger took a notice of Vijay’s cluelessness and how shocked he was. He somehow managed to free his right hand and pull out a small knife from his back and swung it, slicing Vijay’s left cheek. Vijay fell back. The person then darted away with everything he had got. Vijay stood their shook and witless.

The next morning he had a high fever and a severe headache. He knew what happened the previous night was not a dream but no one would believe him if he said this incident to anybody. He was going crazy with all of these happening to him. He thought it was better that he was unaware of the person’s facial features. But now it was all over the place. He felt like during that confrontation he was looking at a mirror. He was entirely lost and did not have the slightest bit of idea of what was going on. But he was sure of one thing, that the person, that crazy lunatic who bore the same physical and facial attributes as Vijay would come again to get him. He was determined to get him for good this second time.

***

20th May, 2022.

The middle aged psychiatrist was in a mental topsy turvy. She was entirely flabbergasted. Yet she kept on registering all the things that the man sitting in front of her said. While listening to Vijay’s story she was half convinced that Vijay had some serious mental condition. Maybe the paranoia that Vijay was fearing had already set on. But then again Vijay did not seem to be a lunatic either. Meaning he didn’t exhibit any behavior which is typical to a lunatic. It felt like he was narrating exactly what had happened to him in real life. But the events felt too much fictitious. It almost was in coherence with the concept of a doppelganger. However that was impossible in reality. But, Dr. Anita suppressed all her rationality and rather kept on listening to this fever dream of a story. She said,

“So did you encounter the person for a second time?”

With a moment’s pause, the visibly uncomfortable Vijay said,

“Yes…I did. Today is 20th May. I confronted t…that person on the 15th of M...May. Five days pr…prior to today.”

“Wait!” Dr. Anita interjected brutally. “You said the last encounter you had with him was on the 22nd of April. What took that person so long?”

“I don’t know. It ju…just so happened that h…he attacked me again after almost a month.”

“Ok, so what happened thereafter?”

“The night of the 15th May, i…is something I will never forget. That night too I was sitting wide awake. Waiting for him to come. I remember. At around 1.30 at night, I heard footsteps in my front yard. I got up and walked straight towards the door and o…opened it in an instant. He was there. As if my actual reflection was standing in front of me. Just like the first time, I was shocked to my core. This is not natural, I told to myself. He seemed way more dangerous this time. H…he had a big knife in his hand. I…I knew that he was determined to kill me. His eyes were gleaming with anger. Then out of the blue the man said, “listen Vijay, we can do this in a clean way. You got to die either way, so just let me kill you.” Saying this he pounced upon me. I was totally in a state of shock until then. The sudden attack made me swerve away and somehow I managed to grab the umbrella that was kept beside the door. With that I smacked him in his head. He took the hit but managed to plunge the knife in my leg. I writhed in pain. But still I didn’t cave in. I again swung the umbrella and hit him repetitively. I kept on hitting him. B…blood began coursing down his temple. But he wasn’t giving in either. And then…”

Vijay stopped and gulped down an entire glass of water. Dr. Anita waited patiently for him to continue. After taking a deep breath he continued,

“And then somehow he got a scope and punched me real hard on my chin. It made me go fuzzy. I fell down. He began walking up to me. I looked up at him. His eyes were bloodshot red. He then said, “Vijay, no matter what you will die today. You must be thinking who I am. I am You. But not of this universe. I belong to a parallel universe. My people back in my universe have invented inter universal travel because of the global pandemic that had hit our Earth. The one that you have experienced here is nothing compared to ours. We were entirely ravaged. And now as we speak there are only a few million people remaining in that infected world. Our scientists invented this method to save the few survivors. But this only meant that we were doppelgangers in this world. So we needed to kill our counterparts of this world, in order to survive. Otherwise we would eventually die. So just please, for the love of God Vijay, die tonight.” Saying this the stranger gave me bloody smile and knelt down and pried the knife out of my mangled thigh. I shrieked out in pain again. H…he came close to m…me raised the knife above his head and brought it down aiming for my throat but at the right moment I moved my head and it struck the ground and the knife snapped in half. And all this commotion had made a vase fall down from the table, which had broken into pieces. I somehow grabbed a piece and pierced it in the side of his body. He winced. And it seemed he was almost about to die. But before dying he said, “Remember Vijay, I might have died but it’s only just the beginning.” After that he died.”

Hearing the entire story Dr. Anita was shocked to say the least. But somehow she managed to say, “What did you do with dead body?”

“The body after dying just dissolved into thin air like nothing. And if you don’t believe I can show you a picture.”

Saying this he pulled his phone out and swiped a couple of times to reveal a photo that showed a bloodied corpse of a man lying down all covered in black clothing. But just as Vijay said the person in the photo looked exactly like Vijay, with no differences at all. She didn’t know what to do next. She was constantly thinking about everything that Vijay had narrated to her. Right from the beginning till the end. She also asked as to why Vijay didn’t go to the police and to which he had said that they wouldn’t have believed him. And true it was, she being a psychiatrist, she herself was having a hard time believing all of this. She opened her specs and thought about the events again. All the while Vijay was sitting quietly and patiently, not even moving a muscle. But suddenly he said,

“It felt like I was following myself and at the end I killed myself. I am going crazy doctor. Please help me.”

The doctor didn’t say anything but something occurred to her. She suddenly wore her specs again, and went through the notes that she had taken down of the other patients throughout the day. To her utter disbelief she found that 5 other patients today, had complained that they felt like they were being followed and also that one other person had said to spot “himself” in a crowd. In the morning she had just considered them to be cases of schizophrenia. But what Vijay said, if it happens to be true, then it is something way more sinister and life threatening. She also realized something that gave Vijay’s story more credibility. Even in the news, a couple of days ago it was said that in some parts of India and in other countries mysterious disappearances and death of people have been recorded.

“Did he say it was just the beginning?”

A bit surprised by the question Vijay said, “Y…yes!”

She knew then that this indeed is just a beginning to a massacre. A massacre that could threaten the existence of many living on this planet.

By Subhagata Chowdhury