The Marriage Swimming Pool

By Deepa Chandramohan

The 'weddings' are always depicted as one of the most memorable and cherished events in anyone's life, but the wedding is merely the trumpet to open the door to a brand new world called the marriage. While I was single, I used to wonder how it felt to be married'? I have a bunch of bold and beautiful girlfriends who described married life to me in many ways. “A board exam with a variety of questions with multiple choices”,"marriage is like eating at a restaurant'', "married life is like eating Gooseberry" etc etc.

Now that I am married, my version would be this way. 'Matches' are made in heaven, true!!! ….but 'Marriage' is something that needs to be 'sculpted' and 'maintained' on earth, just like a "swimming pool". Yes, I would like to compare marriage to a private swimming pool.

Water…the shimmering look, the calmness, the comfort, the fluidity, the plausibility, the dynamicity…We humans have always been attracted to water. A swimming pool is even more attractive, right?!!! Who hasn't fantasised about having one's own private pool!!! You fall in love with the beauty of artistically sculpted and well-maintained swimming pools at hotels and resorts… not to speak about the infinity pools...All the more they attract you, when you see the photoshopped pics of exotic natural and man-made pools on the internet/lifestyle magazines…. you just wanna dive into it or take a dip in it… You may not know how to swim or dive, but you still want to get into it and get soaked. However, some are so scared of the pool and the water that they don't wish to even enter the pool or, for that matter, even to stand at its edge. Still, such people are pushed into the pool… by friends or family ;-). Some enter the pool through a dramatic and somersault dive, while some enter quietly without many spectators…

So now let me talk about the experiences while we are in this special pool. As you know, this pool is exclusively YOURS ---- yours and your spouse’s, your children also will be a part of it. No matter what, the keepers of the pool are YOU both. You need to keep it clean by yourselves. You need to clean the tiles of the pool frequently, see to it that there is a continuous inflow and outflow, see that the water level is maintained, you need to fish out the floating matter such as dry leaves and insects regularly using a butterfly net, otherwise these stuff get into your eyes, nose or inside your swimsuit and bug you while swimming. It would be nice to have a protective covering that allows sunlight, and at the same time help to avoid dust and dirt, as well as peeping Toms. I believe it is always better to have an indoor swimming pool whenever possible.

It is rea….lly not nice to ask someone else to clean your private pool. The cleanliness of your pool is entirely the responsibility of the owners. Do you really want a third person to know how clean or dirty your pool is?

Some people swim quietly and gracefully in the pool. No one even knows that there is someone swimming there. Some disturb the entire neighbourhood with their "dhakadhak" splashes. Some couples swim synchronously and quietly, while some do a lot of splashing and some can’t leave the pool everyday without a fight with the partner. Some want their pool-time to be a very private affair, while some want to click pictures of them in the pool and publicise it on FB and instagram…it is like…"Yay, we are in the pool, see this is what we do in the pool…."

At times your pool is all noisy and disturbed. Your children are splashing water everywhere, the water is all rippled, and you just don't know what to do. You sometimes enjoy the chaos, but at times, you just lose it as you just want it calm and quiet. As per your mental state, you may order the pool users to behave or you may wait for everything to settle and have your own ‘me’ time.

Sometimes, you look at the swimming pools of other people, and wish you had that sort of a better pool, or even a jacuzzi. The pool may be your friend's, your brother's, your sister's, your relative's or your neighbour's. You simply wished your pool was as beautiful as theirs, when you don't even know how deep theirs is, how comforting their water is….!!!

Many people love their pool so much that they want to spend all the time in their pool. Some have no other choice but to be in the pool forever, even if the water is cosy or unbearably hot/cold. But is it practically possible to be in water, drenched and soaked all the time?!! It gets uncomfortable when you are soaked and soggy all the time...you may get sick too…!!!!!! You need a break from the pool. Going to work helps a lot. You need to change your attire from swimsuit into your work armour. You spend a lot of time in a different world - the work-world. Once you are done with your work, take off the work-robe, come back, wear the suit or not ;-)... get into the pool and start… For some, getting back to the pool after work is comforting, while for others, it isn't that pleasant an experience!!!

Some people remain in the pool and watch others enjoying other outdoor activities, especially your single friends, and then you wish: "I wish I was out there doing those activities, rather than swimming/drowning here." And those watching you ‘enjoying the pool’, will be thinking vice versa. Grass is always greener on the other side...Oh no! 'Pool is always bluer and more beautiful in the other house. '

Some have had 'near-drowning' experiences. They are so scared to enter the pool again. They prefer never to be near any pool again.

Some like to swim solo, once a while they allow guests into the pool, but don't know if it is for good or for bad. Nevertheless, be careful about who you let into your pool. You don't have a choice but to allow your parents, siblings or in-laws to enjoy the warmth and serenity of the pool. However you need to keep some rules and see to it that they abide by them. Allowing friends into the pool should be done only if you really feel the need to. Allowing strangers into your pool is suicidal. You never know who carries germs bad enough to infect your pool and pool-members. Be it your extended family or a stranger, be cautious …….you never know who is gonna pee in your pool…!!!

Maybe, after 10 years, I can add more points to the similarities. And who knows, I might compare it to something else then… ;-)

By Deepa Chandramohan