The Man In Her Notifications - By Parvathi Saji R

Written By: Parvathi Saji R

Category: Essay

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

In the thought-provoking essay titled "The Man In Her Notifications," Parvathi Saji R takes a critical look at the lurking dangers of online grooming. Submitted to the esteemed Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar, this essay delves into the unsettling world of digital interactions that begin innocently but may lead to manipulation and exploitation. Parvathi Saji R's work becomes an urgent call for awareness and vigilance in the digital age, as it highlights the vulnerabilities of children and the subtlety with which predators operate.

About the Work

Parvathi Saji R's essay deftly explores the theme of online grooming, shedding light on the gradual manipulation that occurs in digital interactions. The narrative unfolds with a nuanced understanding of how attention and trust are weaponized against unsuspecting youth. The work is marked by a chilling yet authentic tone, providing readers with a vivid depiction of the grooming process. Through stark imagery and poignant observations, Parvathi emphasizes the critical need for dialogue and education around digital safety.

The Man In Her Notifications

Original Submission by Parvathi Saji R

The Man in Her Notifications

It doesn't always begin with a sexual message. Sometimes, it will be, "Are you okay?"

At 1:20 on a Thursday night, a seventeen-year-old receives a message from a total stranger.

"Isn't it too late to be awake?"

It is a normal question. Nothing threatening. No obscenity. No warning signs. No red flags waving across the letters. So, she replies.

"Nope!"

This is how it often begins. It doesn't have to be rude. It doesn't have to be cliché. Sometimes, it will just be attention. He asks why she's upset. He listens to her complaints about her rude Math’s teacher. He remembers her pet dog's birthday. He tells her she's beautiful and reminds her to be confident in herself. And this attention feels even more valuable when home is a place where she doesn't feel like she belongs. Slowly, slowly, without her even noticing, he becomes her comfort zone. And that is where the danger begins.

We often teach our children not to speak to strangers. However, a stranger online doesn't exactly have to look like a stranger. He has a friendly profile picture. An inspiring caption. Hundreds of followers. His profile shows him to be a teenager, but he could be 35. There are multiple posts and reposts that the child can relate to. And familiarity is powerful.

Online grooming is never about one conversation. It is about building trust and emotional dependence until sexual subjects or requests are introduced, creating secrecy around the relationship. The child may think she has finally found a friend. Someone who actually understands her. What she doesn't realize is that she is being groomed.

"You deserve better."

"Your parents have no right to control you."

"You are very beautiful."

"You can tell me anything."

"Your parents don't understand you, but I do."

"I am always here for you."

The first thing a predator often offers is not sex. It's attention. These sentences are harmless when said once. But when they are said to a vulnerable child every day, they become something else. The relationship starts changing. A bond is built. The conversations become more personal. The compliments become more intimate. And finally, the boundaries begin to shift. First, it starts with normal photographs. A photograph of her room. Her surroundings. Her doll hanging on her cabin. Then her dress. And it doesn't stop there. Jokes start becoming sexual. And by the time the child realizes something is wrong, she may already be caught in the trap. A child may be shown sexual material under the excuse of curiosity.

"Have you seen this?"

"It's normal. Everyone watches it."

"Don't be shy. It's typical human behavior."

The predator may present sexual content as education, humor, or something 'grown-up' people do. And slowly, the conversations and content that once made the child uncomfortable begin to feel ordinary. This is one of the most frightening things about grooming. He doesn't always break the boundary in one move. He moves inch by inch. Parents are often taught to check what their children are doing online. Whom are they following? Who messages them? What's their screen time? All of that matters. But the conversation should not always be limited to children. We need to talk about the adults too.

"Why didn't she block him?"

"Why did she answer?"

"Why did she send the photographs and videos?"

These are the questions adults throw at a child when they finally find out. But are these the right questions to be asking?

"Why was a grown man talking to a child in the first place?"

"What kind of mentality does he have to go to this extent?"

He knew what he was doing. Unlike the child, he understood the situation. He knew he was manipulating her and making a child enter into a secret relationship. He knew how to take advantage of loneliness. A child who is constantly ignored at home may naturally be inclined to listen to a stranger who gives her attention. The manipulator doesn't have to force his way into her life. All he has to do is look for the kids who post sad quotes and captions, stalk their stories, and then try to fill that void in their minds with something as simple as:

"Your feed looks sad. Are you okay?"

We have spent years teaching children how to avoid predators. But have we asked enough questions about the people who chose to become them? Why should a mere child be responsible for understanding manipulation when adults themselves sometimes fail to recognize it? And why should a child feel like she will be punished rather than protected once she admits that she has been groomed?

According to UNICEF, an estimated 20 million children aged 12 to 17 across 21 countries, including boys and girls, experienced at least one form of technology-oriented sexual exploitation during a one-year period. Nearly 60% of those incidents occurred on social media platforms, including Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, and WhatsApp. But the disturbing fact is that less than 1% of these cases were reported to the authorities. And we all know why. Behind every untold case is a child who was too frightened, ashamed, or manipulated to tell anyone. Predators do not always arrive looking like predators. They will be followers first. Then friends. Then someone who is always online when everyone else is asleep. The predator doesn't always enter a child's life through a locked door. Sometimes, he enters through a notification.

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About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026, hosted by Hashtag Kalakar, is a renowned platform celebrating the power of words and creativity. It invites writers from around the world to voice their stories, poems, and essays on diverse themes. The competition encourages participants to address contemporary issues, explore their imaginations, and connect with audiences globally, fostering a vibrant community of literary expression and cultural exchange.

Thank you, Parvathi Saji R, for your insightful contribution, "The Man In Her Notifications," to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Your essay serves as an essential reminder of the complexities of online interactions and the importance of safeguarding our children in the digital realm. We appreciate your dedication to raising awareness and sparking meaningful conversations through your writing.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.