Can We Please Stop Pretending Happy Marriages Don't Exist? - By Parvathi Saji R

Written By: Parvathi Saji R

Category: Essay

Competition: Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026

Parvathi Saji R presents a thought-provoking essay, "Can We Please Stop Pretending Happy Marriages Don't Exist?" as part of the Essay category in the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. This insightful piece challenges modern perceptions of marriage, emphasizing the overlooked reality of content and fulfilling marital relationships. As the competition celebrates diverse voices in poetry and creative writing, Parvathi's essay invites readers to reconsider the narratives surrounding love and marriage in today's digital age.

About the Work

In "Can We Please Stop Pretending Happy Marriages Don't Exist?", Parvathi Saji R explores the dichotomy between dramatic love stories and the understated reality of happy marriages. The essay delves into societal fears of commitment and the pervasive narrative that marriage equates to loss of self. Through calm and reflective prose, Parvathi advocates for recognition of stable, peaceful unions, suggesting that true love often manifests in the everyday moments and shared lives that might not be algorithm-friendly but are profoundly real.

Can We Please Stop Pretending Happy Marriages Don't Exist?

Original Submission by Parvathi Saji R

Can We Please Stop Pretending Happy Marriages Don't Exist?

The Internet and Modern Love

The internet has taught us many things about love. How to identify a red flag. How to leave a toxic relationship. How to survive breakup. In fact, we have names for everything now. Situationships. Talking stages. Almost-relationships. Friends with benefits. Nano-ships. Perhaps there's even a word for behaving like a married couple for almost six months while both insist that they are just seeing where things go.

We have become extremely good at describing relationships that are not exactly relationships. But somewhere along the way, we also became good at describing why marriage is terrifying.

The Fear of Marriage

Marriage will make you lose yourself. Marriage will cost your freedom. Marriage is an add on responsibility. Marriage will kill the romance. It's better to remain as lovers. Do not get families involved. You'll get bored and will eventually become two people staring at your phones, sitting on the opposite ends of a sofa.

And of course, none of the statements are false. There are marriages that are filled with cruelty, silence, betrayal and fear. Nobody should be asked to remain in a relationship that is slowly destroying them, just because leaving your partner is complicated, frightening or financially impossible.

The Other Side of the Coin

But I am not talking about that marriage. A coin always has two sides, and I'm talking about the other kind. The quiet kind. The one that we rarely post about.

Apparently, happy marriages are boring content. There is no villain, no betrayal, no multiple families, no drama. Just two people, going to work, buying vegetables, arguing about what to have for dinner, growing older, doing their own business and living a normal life. It isn't dramatic enough for the algorithm. And something that is considered nonrealistic.

Peace vs. Boredom

I sometimes wonder if we have confused peace with boredom. We are surrounded by stories in which love shall only be meaningful if the couple has undergone some drastic experience. A separation, a trauma, some chase, some groveling. Maybe somewhere along the way, we have forgotten that real love can be considerably less cinematic.

Sometimes love is knowing how the other person takes their coffee. Sometimes it is being irritated because they left their towel on the bed and still making dinner for two. Sometimes it is sitting in the same room, minding your own businesses like two roommates, the silence strangely feeling like home. There is no background music, no audience, no climax. It's simply someone staying.

The Fear of Admitting Happiness

And then there's the strange fear of saying, "I am happy in my married life." People say it almost apologetically, scared that it will be jinxed. Usually these comments are followed by, "Touch wood" or "Let's not show it off".

People don't mind announcing their heartbreaks in public, posting quotes and reels to the outside world, even making jokes about how terrible husbands are or how impossible it is to manage a hormonal wife. But how often do you hear them say about the emotional support they get from their spouse. The knowledge of having someone you can lean on to. The moment you admit you have a pleasant married life, they say, "Just wait for a while. You'll see."

Commitment and Accountability

Why? Why are we so adamant to make marriages fail? I feel like our generation has developed a love hate relationship with commitment. We want intimacy without responsibility, companionship without vulnerability. We want to be chosen but we can't take accountability. And when things get difficult, internet always has the same answer. Leave. Sometimes it's the right choice. But not every relationship is a bad relationship. There is a difference between working through problems and being asked to endure harm.

Commitment should never be an excuse for suffering. But neither should mere conflicts be portrayed as a failed relationship. Maybe that's the part that we don't talk enough. Love is not always the feeling that makes your heart race. Sometimes it is the feeling that allows your heart to rest. In the search of finding the right person, we often forget to become the right person.

Talking About Ordinary Love

So, we should talk about abusive relationships. We should talk about divorces. We should talk about financial stability and freedom in marriages. But we should also talk about the ordinary, boring marriages. The one that is less dramatic, but more stable. The one that feels like home.

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About the Competition

The Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026 by Hashtag Kalakar is a prestigious event that showcases the creativity and diversity of writers worldwide. This competition provides a platform for authors to share their unique perspectives across categories like poetry, short stories, essays, and more. Celebrating the power of words, the competition encourages participants to push boundaries and explore new literary landscapes.

We extend our heartfelt thanks to Parvathi Saji R for her compelling contribution, "Can We Please Stop Pretending Happy Marriages Don't Exist?" to the Global Poetry and Creative Writing Competition 2026. Her essay offers a refreshing perspective on love and marriage, inviting readers to embrace the beauty of ordinary happiness. We appreciate Parvathi's participation and look forward to the continued impact of her thoughtful writing.

About Hashtag Kalakar

Hashtag Kalakar is a creative platform dedicated to providing artists, writers, singers and other creative talents with opportunities to showcase their work and reach wider audiences through competitions, features and creative initiatives.