The Last Time
By Sakshi J Shinde
When I write for the last time
Will at least then I’ll write about my family
Spend my last words on those who are closest
And through those words, give them immortality
When I write for the last time
Will I write about the pet I never had
How after returning to my shelter
The absence of a cat made me sad
When I write for the last time
Will I be able to confine her in a single song
This girl who always stood by my side
The reason why I’ve lived for this long
When I write for the last time
Will I waste my lyrics on you again
Will it be you I pray for the last time
Will I hope for you to read it, all in vain
When I write for the last time
Will I write on jealousy
Complain about the same old things
How I was not happy to be me
Will I reveal my deepest insecurities
Not think about how someone will make fun of them
Maybe I’ll tell how hard I tried to fit in
And how crowds always made me feel overwhelmed
When I write for the last time
Will I have found out the reason why
The only people who love me
Are the ones from my bloodline
When I write for the last time
Will I be able to express
The blue so beautiful
In the depths of hopelessness
When I write for the last time
Will I still be defending my despair
Will happiness still be
A concept unaware
When I write for the last time
Will I have set myself free
From my own hatred
My poems being the only thing I can call mine
Will I have something good to say about me
Or will it be the things I’ve already said
When I write for the last time
Will I tell you how I broke down in the middle of the night
Trying not to make a sound
And I was losing that fight
Maybe I will have forgiven my younger self, who was never at a mistake
Did you know how much guts it took for me to write that
No, I couldn’t make it more poetic
It’s just a simple fact
But when I write for the last time
I’ll be the closest to death
And I’ll only have one regret
That I could never write what was going through my head
As I took my last breath
By Sakshi J Shinde
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