The Last Request

By Soumya Pandey

I applaud myself in my mind for keeping it all together 

A deep well

paying my price

instead of spiralling into madness as I should have

For not following him to wherever he got stolen to

To strap myself in this world 

So I don't accidentally wander into his new one

But would he even want me there

The place where he finally rests in peace 

I was not the best child

What if I am a nuisance again 

I just don't want him to be alone 

My brother would be the perfect candidate to keep him company 

But he belongs here on this side

Growing, living, loving and caring 

My mother too

How could I not talk about him

I am everything he was

The parts he hated of himself 

Got passed down on me

He fought through 

I haven't yet

Still he gave the best parts of me

everything i am

Is his design 

Everything I love

He once did too

Two disconsolate polymath souls

Neither lived up to their potential 

Yet at variance 

He had it

I was only promised 

Led to believe I am more than what shows

But paper crowns can only be so shiny 

No amount of glitter can compete with diamonds or rubies

Even so he believed in me

And that keeps me going

But one day I will find my pyre

Beg at heavens gate 

To let me catch a glimpse 

as they drag me to Hell's fate

Ask him if he had watched upon us

What i had done wrong

And if I was sent back to misery

Would he still be the one to teach me my first steps

This, papa, will be my last request.

By Soumya Pandey