The Covid Stigma

By Lisvan Rodrigues

Dear Society,

The year was 2020, not like the ones we see in the futuristic movies, with flying cars or a world powered by the sun. It was just another regular year, and we were yet to become a superpower. It was only a dream with the government permitting tree felling and land grabbing. It was far from a superpower, our country was still a developing third world nation.

Our people were just beginning to deal with their own demons when there was a sudden eruption of something unusually fancy. Something they termed as pandemic, which shut the whole world down.

In yet another part of the globe where the sun rose as we slept, there began -- riots -- asking their government to make the world a safer place for all races.

I sat back, looking at everything untoward happening in the world and convinced myself that no such evil can come to me. I followed every instruction and prayed every prayer but life and its uncertainty was waiting to grab me by the neck and show me my ground.

****************

‘Tutu’, my niece screamed, as she came to hug me, when she saw me entering the front door. I dodged her, telling my parents not to let her close to me.

There was something that happened that day.

The pandemic we referred to earlier, had come knocking on my door.

A highly contagious disease, which can kill you and your loved ones, if you happen to touch them -- at least that is how the media described it to be.

I met up with an old friend when I went to wish him a Happy Birthday -- He was later tested positive. My heart sank, as the little world I had created in with all the people I loved and met up with, flashed in front of my eyes. I sat in a corner as my niece’s inaudible excitement to come and hug me, continued.

The door shut, I grabbed on to the blanket and thought about every sin I committed. None were greater than this one -- I went for a birthday party, they said.

Jolted by the shock, I could not think of anything more, I couldn’t eat nor sleep. I had put lives to risk, ‘Innocent lives’ which were inexplicably being responsible and staying home so that they wouldn’t catch the dreaded virus.

All lives mattered at this point, but mine. I still had to make sure I caught the virus, as my friend battled it out for his life in the hospital.

I made my way past the newly inaugurated hospital meant for testing the probable virus carriers. A long stick like thing was inserted in my mouth and a sample was taken for testing.

I returned to my room and shut myself in -- A dozen messages flew -- rarely out of concern. They asked,

‘Heard they took you for testing, did you get it?’

I wish I knew I’d say to myself as I ignored them one by one.

A certain shopkeeper sold hot rumours, something about a few youngsters getting the virus into the village after they behaved mischievous and attended a birthday party.

Some claimed that the youngsters are responsible for a few others in the hospital battling the virus.

The rumours were endless and I could feel a certain burn in my heart, sometimes in my head. I could feel the virus creeping inside me, as the reports were delayed by two insignificantly long days.

The room I was locked in felt like a heaven as it protected my loved ones, from the devil I was. The body I was living in however felt like hell, punishing me for the most dreaded sin I committed.

The people out there passed a judgement. They didn’t want to see my face anymore. Everyone, I’m sure wished me dead. I could feel them, all their prayers going up to god -- asking him to send his wrath on me.

It all ended with the virus that gripped me, all the dreams, all my hopes, I could never be the same again -- I thought.

For the first time, I realised what isolation is -- a person’s need for love and belonging-ness from the society. I understood what those lepers died of. I understood what every person who killed themselves went through.

No virus killed them.

ALL OF US DID!

PS. I was tested negative for the virus. Positive for being a part of a stupid society I don’t wish to live in.

Sincerely,

Lisvan Rodrigues

By Lisvan Rodrigues