The Broken Healer

By D.S.S. Lalitha Ujwala

I am so scared of myself,

Scared of my own reflection,

Scared of my own thoughts,

Scared of my disintegrating vision & hope,

People tell you to hold on to the slightest ray of light,

But what if there is no light?

What if all you see is an abyss of eternal darkness, sea

of suffering,

People say they can see if one is suffering, what if they are so good at hiding everything perfectly that no one sees it?

So perfectly, no one's sees them drowning in their own thoughts, suffocating in the idea of a future,

There's no answer to any of these questions,

An abyss can't answer you, a void can't answer you,

No one notices it til it rips you apart,

No one notices til you die out of the pressure,

Though I might be the one who holds you the depths of

your despair,

The one who sits with you when sadness leaves you

broken in your bed,

But what about me?

I have been falling and falling in the bottomless pit of

suffering,

Drowning in the darkness,

Still fixing others, lifting them up,

But how much can a broken soul do?

How far can you go giving without tearing apart?

How far can you go wearing a cracked mask?

How long can you hide behind it?

You're so deathly afraid of yourself,

You'll run the moment it breaks,

But tell me, my dear

How far will you run before the abyss devores you whole?

Before you become one of the shadows....

You can only choose one

Either you die as a coward behind a mask or run far enough to see yourself become the very thing you hated...

By D.S.S. Lalitha Ujwala