The Ballad Of Bozo Bambi The Baron Of Brighton
- Hashtag Kalakar
- Dec 20, 2025
- 20 min read
By Billy Rock Mitchell
Part 1: The Baron
A ragged trousered noble
A prince in taste and a pauper in pocket
That was the fate of the intensely afflicted Baron Bozo Bambi
The sickly and intoxicating pursuit of life's immediate pleasure
Hung over dear Bozo's head like an intense and aggressive fog
Was it a natural state or was it an unholy affliction
He knew not
But either way he wore his nature like a crown
Proving the legitimacy of his self appointed title
A child of the sesh
Whose colourful lineage
Consisted of insatiable vagabonds
And black sheepishness
A poetic sadness
A frenetic tranquillity
Is what he saw
On the local balcony
On the edge of the world
He looked out at the the sorry state of affairs
As he wandered down the apples and pears
This place of brick and mortar of
Of mother
Son
And daughter
The sad clown despite his inadequacies
Was filled with a sickly sweet melancholy
Full up on the beautiful idiosyncrasies
That encompasses the human folly
Everyone was wrong
Everyone was right
No one was wrong
No one was right
The confusion
The intrusion
The apocalyptic power
The heavenly shower
Bozo Bambi's head was filled with opposition
He was afflicted with a state of constant indecision
He knew he had purpose
But he had no precision
His creation was not one of planned
But more of a chaotic birthing
Given by the universe's hand
To this unlikely and prodigal earthling
The death of childhood
Is the death of stability
The death of understanding
The death of irresponsibility
The ending of that which could
The realisation of fragility
The world the Blue Prince finds himself in
Leaves many of the folk to grasp
For a new and righteous time to begin
Yet still they forget the wisdom of the past
They forget the continental brutality
That engulfed the middle of the last century
They forget the hate and the psychopathy
Chewed away in the mind's eye like taffy
Bozo Bambi knew not where he lay
A man child of the number ninety nine
He felt connected to all eras
But also connected to none
He sat at a historical crossroads
Despite this he had an inkling he'd have some fun
The sad clown did indeed feel an urge to be distressed
But fortunately for him he had many a good and kind peer
The conversation and connection made reality less of a test
Fragrances of strong herb permeated his hallowed estate
The Baron peered voyeuristically into the windows of others
Not deviously mind you
He mostly inspected the various decor and clutter
Seeing the dim light of a lamp and the comfort of incense enjoyed by lovers
The melancholy jester wandered around his concrete palace
Wind whistling through the streets played the buildings like ghostly instruments
A symphony that aided him as he drank from his fortified chalice
This was his world
This was his place
This is what he thought
Alone off his face
Reveling in his chaotic ecstasy
He ingested the poison fumes of his sweet death stick
The soothing burn calmed his spirit
He began his climb
The climb out of the urban world of grey
Walking further and further to the green pedestrian peak
An island that hid among the city’s fray
And up top he viewed the human slime
The lights of society shuffled across the streets like ants
The burning fire of humanity
Angels and demons
Monsters and heroes
All those minds going to and fro
They did challenge him
Every light possessed a story
A legend ready to be told
Everyone sought their own personal glory
Wishing to have a life worth being sold
However many million billion stories there may be
There was only one the ragged trousered noble could tell
It was a story both surreal and mundane
A story like any other
A classic tale of trials and tribulations
Of a hero and a villain
Of one person and many
A yarn featuring an indomitable bargain bin dandy
This is the ballad of Baron Bozo Bambi
Part 2: The Place
This was a holy place of shattered dreams and half garbled soliloquies
Writhing with "day after" regrets and chemical ecstasy Where many a pseudo philosopher has tried and failed to make their mark
Where old merrymakers spend their twilight daysThey reserve the right to be intricate and slightly self indulgent
That is their way and they like it like that
It does not matter how much the bastards push and shoveAt the end of the day they are who they are
And by all the gods of every pantheon they will not be druv These hallowed halls and makeshift idols of pavement and paint
That serve as so many newcomers formative crecheAnd all the fields and parks which have seen many a rave
As the drained acolytes shout out all hail the seshThis was not a place of geography or exacts
It was a series of concepts and cultures
A place of chippy's
Yuppies and young drug puppiesA place where anything could be possible
A place where teachers retreat to have some uppies
Bambi knew its populace well
He had encountered the pretentious pontificators
The true natives and the welcome adoptees
Even the uni lads arriving on half broken freighters
The Place was oh so small
But wasn't it also just oh so big
A microscopic granule
A piece of a piece of a piece
A settlement on a rock that sat in the universe
Far gone on an interstellar kaleidoscope
A fishing village that was recorded in the times of domesday
A target of French fire and fury
A destination for those running towards good times happy and gay
The funhouse apple in the eye of the regent
A broadchurch where all has a thought that they must say
A history of murky and seedy affairs
A deep descent down criminal stairs
A carnival of razor blade gangs
Prowling around with flat steel fangs
Brighton Rock
Brighton Rock
All the way through
Brighton Rock
It seemed to dear Bozo that this community of Helmstone
Resembled a black hole more than it resembled a city
A force that dragged any stray weirdo into its inescapable zone
Those that came too near to that counter culture event horizon
Knew that even their haphazard minds would not be alone
It represented many things to many people
To some it was a haven of liberty
A land for deluded but self aware sheeple
To others it was a serene untruth
There own personal and sacred steeple
But Bozo knew that under the erected glitz and glamour
There was unmistakably an undercurrent of filth and grime
Along with the civilised dissidents so too did the crims clamour
Two worlds on top of each other bizarre and sublime
Even in this lucky place
Bozo knew that the happy few were the few of the few
The crushing hands of statecraft
Would cook all in it's brutalistic
Tasteless GDP stew
He walked around the town submerged in the all-days blues
As the people’s night out cries echoed across the sky
It was a desperate joy
A happiness that only existed for headlines on social media news
All the self serving groups indulging in a sweet lie
It was a desperate ploy
Hopping from pub to club to house to wherever the sorry lot ended up
Occasionally at an establishment they would find a new young pup
A new recruit to indoctrinate and take on the long road to Seshlehem
A new member of Bozo’s entourage to gaze upon his symbolic diadem
The Blue Prince knew all the spots all too well
This was his place
This was his yard
This was his home
His rock
All the way through
He had seen the place change oh so very much
For his rock had been blessed by a Midas touch
While most lands of this cruel Britannia were left hungry
Sick and dying
The glimmer and joy of this beach resort allowed them all to keep lying
The sorry and shambolic state of the empire had been hidden from his view
The passing of time and the gift of age allowed the Baron to see things anew
But even in his own gay and happy haven
Poor Mr. Bambi could sense the fires very much beginning to catch
The hate and disunity turned them craven
And In this time of strife and terror many folks will light the match
It all seemed so unreal
Sitting there on the bridge viewing the urban tranquility
To think about the brutal ripping establishment maw
That could lead this disunited kingdom into a rioting and uncivil war
He closed his vision
And in the sad clowns mind’s eye he could see it
Those nice streets and beautiful buildings crumbling and smoking
As neighbours threw each other to their deaths tumbling and choking
The Scratchman waiting for their souls
The demons and destroyers
Waiting in the brains tiny little holes
He wished this was not the fate of his beloved Helmstone
Whose regal filth had raised him and his grim kin
The clown hoped that all would be better on the beach of stone
And his city rise high and allow a golden age to begin
But tick tock goes the clock
On this here rock
This Brighton
Brighton rock
And what they say is true
Brighton is Brighton
No matter how hard you chew
It will be Brighton
Brighton rock all the way through
Part 3: The People
The people stood there like beautiful disgusting clever idiots
They were all liars
People over the years had become expert liars
So good were their lies that they even believed their own
Bozo could see it
The Crying Bard could smell the fear and insecurity
He could see the untruth in everyone and deep in his soul he knew he was a liar too
Even The Blue Prince was himself devoid of purity
A fact made clear as he poured the toxic contents of his stomach down the loo
Through that corrupted liquid resting above that cruel U bend
Bozo could see into the network of pipes and plumbing that linked this kingdom
He could sense many a peer preparing their stomachs to send
This lurid practice was repeated by many who once so high had now fallen
This was however only a section of the inhabitants of fair Brighthelm
As the Sad Clown and others of his ilk recovered from the Tuesday night hedonism
More reputable players began to go about their duties in the realm
“Norms” as the Blue Prince called them supporting their tea and biscuit despotism
The valiant nine o'clock warriors of the system you know and love
Who mumble and grumble hoping one day to be with guys up above
The people who studied economics because they wanted to get into the biz
Who have accepted the shitiness of the world because “that's just how it is”
But things are not binary that would be too simple
This is not a Tolkien struggle where a white collar Sauron gets bucked
This is about all the details right down to the pimple
This is about the people and guess what?
The people
well they're fucked
The people the Baron thought
Were like an invisible puzzle with pieces missing
A disease the world caught
Un-understandable were they to anyone
As unique and as similar as you might expect billions to be
All gormless sitting there under the sun
Understanding all those persons had long been an ambition of the foolish Baron
He had wished to please all the parties of this world
The Crying Bard tried desperately to decipher the art of civilised disagreement
He thought it silly that people should still fight
If everyone were kind everything would be alright
It made no sense to keep on with this meanness
We could have a world pure with greenness
Unfortunately for the Sad Clown this was not the earthly state of affairs
There was more cruelty and harshness than desired
As the humans screamed the filth of their madness down the stairs
But they weren't bad
Oh no the very problem was that no one was all bad
So much rough around the diamonds
So much bad around the good
There they were
The People
Shuffling around
They were full of love and regret
They were full of it
Full of their superiority
They were full of bile and threat
They were full of shit
Full of their authority
The Baron walked among them
He was one of them
And he was proud
Proud to be the people
Even with their tyranny
Even with their taint
He was one of them
In love and in hate
Dear Bozo wandered further and further into the maze of his mind
Through his synaptic doorways he could see all the features of his kind
For everyone was everybody
All have the same feelings
The same emotions and the same flaws
The same stuntedness like an animal trying to use a tool with its paws
The Baron also took comfort in the fact that the people of this gay little rock
Were by far not the worst and overall were friendly and cheerful
The people of this haven had been tempted away from Albions cultural shlock
But this was not always the case
Some still were callous and fearful
The persons of this world on fire did all indulge in the same self medication
The masses could pick their opiate of choice and follow it with dedication
Wherever you go the race of man wanted the same thing
Something to believe
Something to indulge and a song to sing
Bambi noted that the good folks of this beach refuge had strayed away from religion
Instead they indulged purely in coffee
Pints and chemical satisfaction
The Baron knew himself to indulge in those flights of fancy more often than a smidgen
And whether wrong or right it did produce an intoxicating reaction
Those parasites the sapiens of earth were infuriating and endearing
The Blue Prince could see so much promise in the human experiment
He hoped that they would stick around and not soon be disappearing
The sad clown hoped it would turn out well and produce much merriment
There he was
The Baron
Shuffling around
He was full of love and regret
He was full of it
Full of his superiority
He was full of bile and threat
He was full of shit
Full of his authority
The People walked beside him
They were like him
And they were proud
Proud to be who they were
Even with their tyranny
Even with their taint
They were the people
In love and in hate
Deserving of a better fate
Part 4: The Good
As the seagulls flew overhead Bozo looked across the coast
He saw the endless joy of existence
People nestled together enjoying company and banter
Acts of friendly and kind resistance
The world at this time seemed to him a very dark place
Forcing The Baron into a search for hope
Looking for candles in a storm to guide this sickly race
But so many of those candles did burn so brightly
Small things
Important things
Acts of kindness
They were universal and did tilt the world rightly
For The Blue Prince it was the spontaneous moments of joy that rang true
Frivolous laughter on a subject of no importance that wondrous social glue
Those moments he thought can break down any barrier real or not
They bind humanity with giggles and these times shouldn’t be forgot
The Sad Clown wondered the pathways of his cosmic rock
He came by the greenery outside The Church Of St Peter
And saw a holy vision of a man with one sodden sock
The tableaux as it appeared to him stuck in his mind as clear as day
A young couple sat on a bench relaxed and true
And with them one of the street people smoking and gabbing away
They talked not as lessers but equals
No malice or fear
No dismissal or rudeness
Simply a conversation
Relating to The Matrix’s sequels
That vision for the Baron was like a template for all who sought a better tomorrow
A world where love is all, all is love and everyone will have many a seed to sow
Dear Bambi knew it was a silly and most optimistic picture for him to paint
But why aim for a world of despair when we could live in the world of a saint
As he bumbled and bimbled around aimlessly in his zig zaggy way
He came to a pathway over a filthy and petrol soaked tunnel
It smelt like any city underpass of dampness
Despair and urban decay
The Baron perched himself on a bench looking out at the city’s concrete meadows
The setting sun bathed the roofs in orange pinkish light
A serene combination of the natural and unnatural like a finely crafted paper rose
As The Baron looked over his Kingdom he saw black birds in a flock flying free
With purpose
With precision
No indecision
And he saw himself flying in that amber sky far out over that blue murky sea
In his organic monitor he could see the people beyond the channel
A woman struggling with her child, washing him with a grey flannel
A family sharing the first meal after the harsh fast of ramadan
An old couple by candlelight patiently waiting for the gasman
He could see all the peoples of the world he could sense their good hearts
He could see their dreams their hopes their aspirations
Even if all that amounted to was to was beating their colleague at darts
All those images went into him
Flowed through him
Filled him with power
No longer was he flying or gliding
He was shooting
The land was a blur beneath him passing round the earth every hour
The Crying Bard was racing round the world with that great feeling of beyondness
Part of life
Part of the universe a doolally chap complete in his oneness
He could feel it
He could breathe it
That absolute feeling of life that seeps into your veins like only supreme love can
The feeling of the most cleansing water and the freshest air ever had by man
No struggle
No battle
Only the great symphony of life playing its impossible tune of matter and mind
The great energy of the spirit removed of impurity and now masterfully refined
So close
So near
The Blue Prince was ready
He was so close to that nirvana
That perfection
But now for him the answer was no
As beneath him it began to slow
Slowly but surely he was again flying and soaring
As he returned to his origin his being was roaring
The lands he saw beneath where retreating, The Baron was retracing his master flight
And all the peoples he saw before were done and finished
Everyone went back to their shacks and sacks as even the sun ran from the night
Bozo Bambi returned to his vessel and still it was there limp on the bench
He saw the urban forest now darkened and lamplit
His failure to ascend crushed him and the pain did make his heart wrench
All the promise and hope dashed as if suffering a great crash
A sick feeling entered his throat like some rotten potato mash
Here it comes
Here it comes
Here cometh the death of day and the darkness of the night
The rain and the pain descend
The anguish with no damn end
The broken flower on the mend
This is the coming of the Scratchman
Bozo Bambi is in for a fight
Let us pray he can still find the light
Part 5: The Bad
Smash slam and crack
Smash slam and crack
The Sad Clowns hands hit the concrete of hard cold wall
Hoping to block out the disappointing and filthy reality
Bash bang and bludgeon
Bash bang and bludgeon
The Baron let out a guttural beastly and ancient roar
Why he asked was this world treating him like a whore
His mind was fucking racing
Violent and bloody tail chasing
Not for you the cruel Scratchman said in his head
Unworthy wretch
Mephisto will do for the Blue Prince
Where once Bozo Bambi had been mighty and high almost touching the gods
He was fighting against gravity the weight crushing every fibre in his body
The Blue Prince was crying as his shredded painful soul felt undying
A burning blistering sensation that dug deep into the retinas of his eyes
The Crying Bard with blood on his hands and tears in his eyes ran
He ran and he ran and he ran
No sense no mind no plan
Mr Scratch was here now to stay
There was no escape no distance of safety
All the Sad Clown’s fear and hate and disease was endemic
Mr Scratch was attacking poor Bozo with brutal polemic
He was alone as his concrete palace contorted, tore and collapsed
His faith and his joy reduced to nothing utterly and completely lapsed
His thin facade washed away to reveal a poor soul long astray
A life wasted with no more value than a fagend in an ashtray
His self appointed title evaporating to nothing
Not a baron
Not a man
Not a clown
Not a bard
Facepaint washed and dulled
Only left was the Silly Boy
The pathetic Man Child
The Human Wretch
The Scratchman that foul demon working for the meat machine
He was a sharp figure in every wretched way
His whole essence looked like it cut
As the Poor Boy’s mother city collapsed around him
The Scratchman’s foul stench infested the very soil of the land
A black mass of toxicity and putrid bile ready
Ready to consume all
Outstretched with tendrils
The Silly Boy ran further
He ran
And ran
And ran
Fast
Fast as he could
Fast as his pathetic body would
Even as the winding streets and grey brick cracked and shattered
Even as the filthy streets crumbled and sunk
The Man Child ran from the sharp man
The Man Child ran from the unstoppable tide of sickness
Covid 19
Covid 19
Not just a horrible dream
Squeeze pop and snap
Squeeze pop and snap
The Man Child’s muscles tore and collapsed and he did fall
To be consumed by Mr Scratch and that gooey black sea
Stomp clamp and crush
Stomp clamp and crush
Scratchman broke every bone in this very physical war
He was an immobilized slump slugging on the floor
The Human Wretch was engulfed and so was everything
He was alone
Isolated and cut off
There was no singing
There was no dancing
No light only darkness
This was the meat machine
This was where the scratchman and his ghouls brainstorm
The think tank of hell
Making a pitch to sell
The tainted gurus pitched the great viral sensation
Ignorance galore a most uncivil war
A great pestilence for every single pitiful nation
They showed him it was coming
What could he do but curl up right there and die
He could see the coming storm out of one eye
The disease that consumed all
The disease of the earth
The disease of humanity
The disease of ignorance
The cancer
The tumor
Growing
Growing
In the chest
No chance of a magic virus proof vest
No chance of a reprieve from it all
No chance
No chance at all
Do it
Do it
Become the Man Child
Become the Gilded Fool
Dance for the money men
Dance for their dirty crumbs
Hurt yourself
Hurt others
Be it
Be it
Be the latest thing
Be the lurid freakshow
Make the bacon before it's too late
Make your way to the top
No matter who gets in your way
No matter the easy moral hop
See it
See it
See it in your eyes
See the earth's demise
Look out at the wheezing coughing wretch
Look at the awful awesome monstrosity
This is the future our great big society
This is a place for winners not variety
Join it
Join it
Join us now
Join us quick
No looking back
No gloves here
Accept your greedy thoughts and ways
Accept it's your right no matter the cost
Join us
Join us
We know our way unlike you there so lost
Now
Now
Do it now Blue Prince
Do it now Baron
Do it now Dear Bozo
Do it now Poor Bambi
Embrace the rot
Embrace the filth
Embrace the toxicity
Do it
Do it
Now
He screamed
He roared
He wailed into that black abyss
That deep well
That well of grief
That well of guilt and cruelty
The endless sea
The black water
Engulfing many in its hopeless torment
But in this pit
In this void
There was what looked like a single star
The man child's heart longed to be close to it
The more he wanted it the more it seemed to expand
Despite being here in the Scratchman's realm of shit
This light he saw broke through the evil land
He could almost touch it with his outstretched hand
The Scratchman and his agents lept for the boy
He was their fun
He was their toy
As the Man Child’s finger touched light
Suddenly his body was fit for the fight
A green flame of energy
A ray of light
The fire in his heart burning bright
The Man was full of green and dazzling flame
It was bright and piercing
It drove Mr Scratch’s stooges completely insane
The fire coarsed and travelled and consumed the black mass
The fire burned and the infection cleared
The soil and the life of the land returned
That natural sass
The Man Child consumed by green fire focused on Scratchman
He was alone now
He had no allies and none of his twisted magic left
But before the Silly Boy could obliterate and vaporise that thing
His edginess and sharp body twisted and imploded
He had no foundations
Without the gooey void he was nothing
But now the fire burned through The Boy molten hot
He crystalised and hardened a cocoon around him although quite lean
For he comes now
New and fresh with a lovely sheen
Now he comes
Now he comes
The new improved organic machine
Here he comes
Here he comes
That man
That Man ‘O’ Green
Part 6: Man ‘O’ Green
The Man ‘O’ Green
Born anew
Born fresh
Leaving the creche
Shades come off
No more poorly constructed disguis No more dark filter
Light beaming straight into his eyes
The Man ‘O’ Green looked around
He saw the city clearly now
Without awe
Without shock
It was no verdant paradise
But nor was it a pit of despair
This Brighton
This Rock
It was a place like any other
A place of truths
And a place of lies
That Green Man looked at the site of the battle
The Scratchman’s foul sorcery had gone
This rock was steady and did cease to rattle
His struggle with the beast had been won
But the air did not feel so steady
That foul demon’s stench sullied all of the atmosphere
Even though the Emerald Human had found his 21st halfway nirvana
He saw the people of this planet scrambling and mad
Everything everywhere making as much sense as a straightened banana
People were fighting reality
Against what seemed so sad
The Green Man knew where he lay
A man child of the number ninety nine
He felt connected to all eras
But also connected to none
He sat at a historical crossroads
But this wasn't all going to be games and fun
He didn’t have a defined destination
He did however possess a direction
A journey he was about to start
And on the way time for reflection
He walked around the place he called home
Revisiting familiar sights and feelings
Feeling the joy
The light
The ecstasy of days gone past
A new era had begun
For he and this cosmic rock
However it seems this new dawn begins cloudy and grey
To many peoples dismay
And as he entered into this seemingly dark world
That Green Man was confident with purpose and precision
No indecision
He knew that a dark world needed light unfurled
To go into the darkness and make a bright burning incision
With perfect vision
Into the storm
Into the fire
Through valley and over hill
Without hate
Without ire
The Verdant King climbed once more to the earthy peak
To look out over his land
Seeing the odd person crazed
No longer able to crawl
Let alone stand
He saw the ocean
He saw the beach
Point A on this new journey
A healing potion
A goal to reach
Eyes set on the point
The Man ‘O’ Green rushed feverishly down the hill
Ready to self anoint
Ready for his new quest
Ready for the thrill
The energy
The exuberance
It gave him hope in these dark times
With time and with struggle
We may end the dehumanisation
Blessed be the holy rejuvenation
Bring life back to this civilization
As the Sage Traveller arrived at the stoney port
He saw the site of his construction
A new vehicle was needed in these stormy seas
Something new
Something fresh
Something that could weather what was coming next
Build
Build
Build your vessel
Get moving
Get ready
To run the Kessel
He could see the storm on the horizon
It was coming for all
Young or old
Ready or not
It was coming
One more tool was needed
A guide
A friend
A piece of his soul
To know and to hold
Little O
Little clay blue boy
With broken horn
A piece of melancholy
A piece of joy
A totem you shall be
A focuser for he
You
You and he
Into the storm
Into the sea
Into this new reality
Sail
Sail
Sail your boat
Through valley
Through sea
And over moat
As the journey across the waves of uncertainty began
He felt confident and sure
Struggle disappearing
No more was life a war
Life was not a mountain to be climbed
It was an ocean to be sailed
A web that connected and chimed
Each person on a raft
Different sizes
Different capabilities
Sadly the luck of the draft
But along the way many vessels encountered
Many people and many stories
Connections flowing and breathing
Bad storms and mad pirates
But also friends and comrades
Family in all but name
The Verdant King looked back on the world behind
The silly controllers’ magic was thinning
Those cruel tyrants and strongmen
Thinking they rule this world from towers above
Will realise this is not their playground
And the great people of all great places wunt be druv
As the shore grew farther and farther away
The Green Man stood taller and taller
Even though he could see the chaos that lay ahead
He was sure and true
The Man O Green with tinge of blue
Like a speeding train choo choo choo
It was not a pleasant paradise
A dark horizon
Masking the light of hope
But past the storm
Past the horizon
There was light
There was a big bright world
A future for the Man O Green
Humanity healed and unfurled
Be green
Be red
Be blue
Even purple too
Go through the prism that is you
Taste the rainbow
Feel the rainbow
Let all the colours flow
Make all of the you's glow
Sadness
Happiness
Joy
Melancholy
All are important
None of them a folly
The Sage traveller was ready for the future
Ready for the now
Remembering the before
But not living in it
No longer consumed by ghosts
He grabbed some sea water
As the waves crashed and cackled
As the storm grew
Wash it he thought
Wash it away
Wash it blue
Wash the past
Wash it through
He saw with clear eyes the beating heart of this monstrous calamity
The eye of the needle
His path known completely
Course set
Sails ready
Heading into the eye of the storm
Ready and waiting for his final form
However many million billion voyagers there may be
There was only one journey this sea green sod could take
It was a destiny both surreal and mundane
A quest like any other
A classic tale of trials and tribulations
Of a hero and a villain
Of one person and many
A chronicle featuring an indomitable human with a lovely sheen
This is the destiny
The fate
The future
Of the Man ‘O’ Green
By Billy Rock Mitchell

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