Thank You Note

By Juno Felecia M

I seem to be chasing you or the feeling you bring. You no longer seem interested, I do not know if I love you or love how much you love me. I hate myself a little every time I text you, call you, want you. I do not seem capable of loving. I do not think I can let you go either. I seem addicted to you, the way you feel, and the way you adore me. But slowly it feels like you are slipping away. That may be, just maybe you finally realized that I am not worth it, that I am not worthy of love. The more you know me, the less you like me, the lesser you want me. I seem to be afraid of letting you go, but you cannot let go of apparitions.

You seem to understand that I am the poison ivy you romanticized for too long. One who as her walls chipped away was a tombstone painted prettily. You realize that you cannot love the empty walls that exist underneath this mould. You chip the shell and see decay. Sadness, a melancholia that you cannot rid of. How do you save when the one in the tower is the monster herself? When the Beast turns out to be disguised as Beauty, how do you accept and love her? I am sorry is all I can say, I am sorry I made you lose this time, that you kept loving me and I on the other hand left you in every turn. I still know not what I feel with you, but you seem to feel like comfort and safety. You make me love me a little, make me believe that I might just deserve it. But its okay, no one can love the ones who are empty. Ones who have nothing to offer, ones who are but partially alive. Thank you for staying as long as you did, thank you.

By Juno Felecia M