Tangled In The Dusk.

By Ashutosh

The remnants of the soul lurk like haunted shadows. Even though you waved goodbye to the dandelions and saw them sailing too, the essence always leaves a trail. Don’t you think so? It feels like just a day ago when I was on the terrace laughing after a decade, gazing the yellow sky with a mellow smile. I traced back the dancing in the moonlight steps we drizzled on for the night. The steps don’t feel the same, even though I recited everything a million times for

us. The wrinkles on the bed don’t feel the same, it was you who used to make it a mess just to annoy me and then end up arranging it. I remember how I used to prefer to fall with you, but these days I feel like an outcast, abandoned by himself as Lucifer. These days it is better to not look for your trails, these nights it is better that I don’t seek your warmth to my soul. I feel like that one pebble on the bed of the river, being roughed, cut, washed, and left stuck for eternity. I can feel your memories being the churning waves to my soul, even though I know I need to get away from this, what else can I do? I’m just as helpless when you used to grab my hair and keep me to yourself. I’m just as helpless as when I had to wait hours outside the trial room for your smiles. I am just as helpless as you! I can’t even reach out to you, I can’t even look through the dusk for you. I am just a pebble in the rivers of you. I hope you will give me the fall-down memories sooner or later. Finally setting me free from this state of myself. Don’t say I didn’t care, don’t say I want to leave. I’ll be the one letting go of you this time. I’ll be the one laying cold in your arms and see you cry. It will be my shirts that you will have to burn away this time. It will be my lips that you will have to burn away from your flesh and soul. It will be me this time, stupid. It will be me who will have the last smile on your face.

The terrace was a getaway for us,

Smoking her soul out,

To my chilled lips,

Away from the taunts of everyone,

The dusk lined her cheeks smiling to my soul,

The winds messing up her hair shading my heart black,

The roars of our guardians rumbling in our veins,

With a shivering touch flicking her ciggy away, cracking my coke away, It was dusk of hopes with the glitters of rain,

Alag Asmaan hai ye

I could feel her bruised skin on my palm,

I could feel the warmth of her wrath on herself,

The smoke makes me believe how close I am to her, being caged in

someone’s soul never felt this right, being locked in someone’s arms

never felt this right, Being tangled in someone’s breath never felt this

right, I never needed my vision to look at her,

But this time I needed the dusk,

So, I can free her from every bit of herself,

Just not from my arms,

Not caring about our beloved sweatshirt being spoiled, I could look

proudly at her scarred face,

Her hands being puzzled with mine,

The Smokey aroma of her soul getting closer to mine, Close enough

that it wasn’t the smoke now,

It wasn’t the flesh that I was loving in my clutch,

It was her eyes fixed on mine,

It was her hair waving with every wave,

It was her shivering smile with my name that I loved, wanting to keep

her clutched,

Until I could believe it was our bruised souls mixed with the dusk, it was us collapsed on and on with tears and smiles, with smoke in her fingers she stood up, Taking claim of the spoiled sweatshirt,

Sailing back to the roaring guardians,

With a smile on her soul and a scar on her neck,

Her messy hair left a trail of smoke,

It was a dusky evening with a tangled soul.

It can’t be me, right? It just can’t. I saw you slip away from me like the time I held you on the terrace alongside a fading dusk. It’s been a week since I’ve felt your presence. It feels like hell, searching for your pieces anywhere I could find them. Just so I can feel you again, only to let go of it. I can’t be stuck with you, I need to move on even if it hurts you watching me from the mellow sky. To love you thoroughly, to feel you fade away slowly is to have your pieces thoroughly for my soul. I used to mock those who used to say it’s hard to let go. Now, look at me sitting by the dusk and hoping that I heal slowly. Hoping, for once, that the kid next door doesn’t see me shedding my soul to you. I will heal from you, I will heal from everything you left for me of your thoughts over my back. Not a day will go by where I’ll be down here waiting, still craving for your tangled hair in my hands and slowly letting you fade away from my memory.

By Ashutosh