Steve...

By Pranav Rao

My name is Steve. But most people know me by my stage name – Rufus. Yes, that’s right, I am an actor. But aren’t we all? Like most actors out there, I did not choose this line of work, it chose me a few months after I was born. And like most of you’ll out there, I do not enjoy my work, but I must carry on for my survival.

It all began one sunny day at the barn where I was born along with nine of my brothers and sisters. Our mother, Nina, tired after labour was taking a nap while our father, well we never met our father. Legend has it that a prince had arrived one day at the barn and a few months later, there we were. Simpler days.

Anyhow, our humans, Martha and Jeff, ran a little side business to support their families. They would put siblings like us on display for other humans to choose from. The profits were used for developing the barn further and well as to pay the bills. In a short span, we were taught the art of acting by the veterans and rejects. They said it was of utmost importance that we appeared as cute and lovable as possible to land a wealthy household. And if we were lucky, we would one day become a prince like our father.

Youth is naïve and gullible. All my siblings and I had practised day in and day out for the day we would meet our fate. And that sunny day, as it happened, was the day I met my fate. A family of humans arrived in a fancy car through the dusty road of the barn. They waited for the dust to settle down before getting out. Hygienic I thought.

Out stepped a little boy with shiny hair and bouncy cheeks. He had the joy of childhood untouched in him. Behind him followed his mother wearing glasses bigger than her face and a handbag bigger than her tushy. Last to get out was a tall broad man in denims and a polo who seemed to be fitter than most men his age and not a spot of grey on the head.

Overjoyed, the boy galloped towards us, giggling, and yelling, “Mommy! Mommy! Come look at them! Mommy they are so cute!”

“Yes, dear I can see, but do not get to close to them, we have no idea if they are vaccinated!”

“Can we have them all please mommy?” he jumped with joy once he was right outside our house.

“No Harry! You must select one! Remember what daddy said?” the mother replied like an obedient wife with the husband right behind.

I could tell by just looking at him that Harry was still pure, and the world had not gotten to him yet. Although I believe that the world eventually gets to everyone, somehow that day I just knew that Harry was the one in all his glory of niceness.

I began my part, as did my siblings. In an instance, we forgot our bonds of flesh and blood and were competing against each other without knowing the consequences of a victory. Not too different from you, don’t judge.

Unlike humans, us dogs have a higher sense of understanding emotions and body language. It is a part of our senses like hearing or smelling. We do not have to read fat books or attend boring lectures from bald bearded men to try and understand all of that.

I went around across all my siblings who were jumping and bowghing and wawghing like amateurs and snuggled at the back of Harry’s right leg. The moment he looked at me, I gave him the look, the look that would become legend! The Steve Look! My siblings stood no chance! Neither did Harry!

“Awww!” he exclaimed, “Mommy! This is the one I want! This one here by my leg! I will call him Rufus!”

And that was that. I had met my fate.

***

The Smiths, as the human family name was, furnished a few green pieces of paper with Jeff and signed on some other pieces and the deal was done. My worth, my life was defined then and there, a few pieces of paper. What was more disturbing was that my siblings just turned away, waiting for their day as my mother stood there, helpless, barking, whining, sobbing, standing still. That was the last I saw her, the last memory of her.

I had stepped into the real world. I knew from that moment on that I could not let my guard down. I had to be cute and friendly all the time with the occasional melodrama or attention seeking behaviour. It was my job, and I was an ambitious little pup.

First things first, I had to ensure Harry remained in love with me. Secondly, I had to be warm to the mother. Lastly, I knew I couldn’t cross the father. If I followed these three things, I would get the life of a prince – food, shelter and loads of naptime.

After a long drive, we arrived at the Smith residence, a huge bungalow in an upscale residential neighbourhood. Harry and I sat at the back. He held me with almost the same warmth as my mother used to. As we arrived at the residence, Harry picked me up with both hands and turned me towards the left window of the car. The house had a white picket fence on the side of the gate from what I could grasp. Trees of shade were spread along the fence. The gate opened into a curvy driveway with a big lawn on the side. My playing field I assumed.

Once we arrived at the drop off, I got out of the car in Harry’s arms. A couple of steps up, we reached the entrance foyer. It was a big house with white walls and brown sloping roofs with dark wood windows, polished perhaps. The inside had marble floors in the main living area which weren’t good for me. Luckily, most other areas had wooden flooring. Fancy paintings were hung on the various walls. Leather furniture in most places, it somehow lacked the coziness my barn had.

I was then taken to my den. A tiny wooden structure with a sloping roof and a door. Seriously? I wondered. What made these humans think that I require a structure like theirs? All I needed was a designated warm cozy corner which I could call my own. Most of the times I would just be napping wherever I felt like. But I liked the effort. Made me feel important.

Paul, the father, disappeared right after into this den. Jane, the mother stayed a while to ensure the maid placed my food in a bowl kept next to my den. My den was kept in the backyard by an old, warm tree. I could tell the tree had tremendous wisdom to share with all the wrinkles. The lawn was carefully mowed. Harry’s bedroom window on the first floor overlooked my den.

Harry sat beside me as I devoured the food in my bowl. After that, he instructed me to take a nap and he went up to his bedroom to do the same. Ahh! The good life! I thought as I entered the den to check it out. Luckily, it had a window for some light to pass through. The Smith’s had kept a warm bed inside. I tried to snuggle in it, but it just wasn’t the same. I missed my mother and my siblings. So, I got out and walked towards the tree and lied down by its trunk and fell asleep.

***

“Wake up Rufus! Wake up!” an excited Harry yelled. That was not the way to wake somebody up. But since he was a child, I forgave him and put on my game face. I got up and started bowghing and wawghing. He ran I front, and I had to chase him down. Then he would pick me up and cuddle me. I had to lick his face and wiggle my tail. Basic.

Then he took out a rubber ball and flashed it in front of my face. I had to seem excited. I jumped and bowghed and wiggled. Once he threw the ball, I gave it my all and ran behind the ball. It was too big for my teething jaw, but I tried to catch it and bring it back to Harry. What a waste of time, but he thought it was amusing so I had to play along. Part of the job. After thirty minutes of the same, Harry must have gotten tired. He picked me up and started to walk inside.

“Harry, no!” Jane shrieked, “We cannot let him in until he has been trained! The trainer is coming tomorrow!”

“But mom! We’ll only be in my bedroom!”

“Those are your daddy’s instructions Harry!”

“Alright!” his face dropped as we turned back towards my den.

Did they really think we do not understand where to piss and poop? It is all part of the cute little pup act that we are taught to piss around the house. Anyway, the trainer was scheduled for the next day.

***

The trainer was politically correct and well mannered, a real cookie-pusher. She lectured mumma Smith and Harry about her techniques and justified her hefty fees. I sat listening in awe, reassuring my faith that anything is possible if you know how to market it well. Yet, I was not complaining since Erica, the trainer, was better off than some of the other trainers we had heard of as kids, the chokers. Luckily, I was not getting any of those electric collars to teach me where not to piss.

I had two options, learn as quickly as possible or stretch the training for the heck of it. I decided to balance it out to not raise any alarms about my intellect and skills. Erica used hand signals and high-pitched verbal cues to make me do circus tricks. She was the more dramatic of an actor between the two of us. I played dumb at the start, testing her patience. After all, she was charging my humans a hefty sum. When I started to feel hungry, I would sit down as instructed and get a treat. What a sucker!

This went on for a few weeks. Erica would arrive twice a week for my training. She informed the Smith’s that I was a quick learner and an obedient dog and that my training was almost over. Little did she know, I was only doing it for the treats. Jane was happy about it. Paul was never around. Harry was excited since he could now take me to his room. He had already kept a bed for me besides his and planned all sorts of games he would play with me. The bliss of naïve youth!

“Jane, I believe his training is over. But you should know, this is a continuous process. You will have to keep consulting me as Rufus grows since his hormones would keep changing and we have to monitor his behaviour from time to time.” Erica explained trying to get a retainership. I admired her salesmanship.

***

Finally, the day had arrived when I could be taken inside the Smith household. We got into Harry’s bedroom. A typical bedroom, with a bed, a bathroom, a cupboard, a study table, and a window. It was messy with toys all over the place. Boy was he a pampered one, but I liked him. He was kind and loving.

Harry introduced me to his toy figures. He had a village full. His favourite was a caped crusader who Harry believed would change the world. Then there was a love interest of the crusader amongst many others. Each day Harry would play out different scenarios with the toy figures while I had to sit and watch. He seemed so happy in his own little world, not a care bogging him down. I enjoyed these little episodes with him. It made me escape into his world, away from my reality.

In the days to come, I roamed about the house, trying to figure out the layout. Harry was around most of the times. I knew I could not enter the parents’ bedroom. I had just managed to get a glimpse of the lounge outside their bedroom.

I had once walked into the kitchen since something smelled delicious. Jane was making peanut-butter sandwiches for Harry. Oh boy! Oh boy! That smells good! Let’s be cute! I thought and went up to Jane. She was kind enough to give me a bite and I instantly took a shine to the taste. It seemed to me that Jane was warming up to me.

Perhaps rightly so. One evening, while Harry was asleep, I was walking around in the house. I had eaten too much and needed the exercise. That’s when I heard the father talking to the mother.

“Come here you tight little vixen. Daddy struck a big deal today and he wants to celebrate!” he seemed excited.

I got curious so I started walking towards the voice. It was leading me to the lounge area outside their bedroom.

“Oh daddy! I am so happy for you! How do you wish to celebrate?” the mother asked.

“Fix me a whiskey while I light this Cuban and after that I will give you my Cuban doggie-style!”

That intrigued me. I wanted to know how he would give his Cuban doggie-style to his wife. I had no idea about it. I inched closer to the lounge. Slowly and calmly, I reached the area at play.

He was seated on his chair having his drink and smoking a cigar. I inferred the Cuban reference from that, but that still did not answer my curiosity. How was he going to give her his Cuban in our style?

So, I waited there, without making a sound, laid down, paws front and head on them, by the carpet.

“Oh Rufus! You shouldn’t be here! Go to your bed!” the mother said.

“Let him be darling! He should learn how to doggie!”

“Oh daddy, but I would feel shy in front of him!”

“He’s just a dog! Who is he going to tell? Come here my cupcake!” he said and pulled her on his lap.

They started with their foreplay. Surprisingly humans underplay it. They try to rush into things. They talk too much instead of letting emotions take over. Once the big guy was done talking and feeling man enough, he flipped the missus over on the couch. She perched on it with her knees, her hands on the headrest. Then he flipped her skirt over and that is when I understood what he meant by giving her his Cuban doggie-style! Oh, these dumb humans! I thought. We have made them fall in love with us so much that they call this the doggie-style when almost all other animals mount the same way! I walked away in disappointment and glory.

***

Summer was almost over, and Harry had to prepare for school. It meant I would not see him the entire day. I would be left all alone. Me and my kingdom of solitude. I had grown up a little since I first arrived, and the maid had been assigned the duty of taking me for my morning and evening walks. Harry would sometimes accompany us in the evenings.

One such evening, as the three of us strolled around the block, I saw her for the first time. Bella! My first and only love! I could not take my eyes off her. I bowghed from across the street to get her attention. She noticed me but paid no heed. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But I was an ambitious little pup.

Of course, I did not know her name just then, but I came back home and started thinking of strategies to get acquainted. I also started working on myself and my diet. I just knew that she was the one and I had to convince her of the same.

Life had been good to me thus far and I hoped it would continue to be. I decided to manifest positivity and send it out in the universe. It was a human thing to do, but I was desperate. Days passed by stealing glimpses of her and bowghing at the sight of her. I did not lose hope.

My prayers were finally answered. The universe had gotten back to me after days of asking. One evening, while out on a stroll with Harry and the maid, our paths crossed. To my surprise, she was my next-door neighbour. The maids waited a while to chat as I started sniffing her. Harry seemed amused and realised I had taken a shine to her. I heard her handler call out her name, Bella! Music to my ears.

“Hey Bella, I am Steve, but my humans call me Rufus.”

“Hello Steve. I have been seeing you around. Why do you bowgh so much? You make it too obvious!” she replied.

“Oh! I am sorry about that. I just cannot help it! Maybe we can be friends?”

“I’ll think about it. You live next door, right? I just realised.”

“Yes, I do! I think it is a sign!” I blurted out in excitement.

“Don’t tell me you have fallen prey to human things such as signs and chance!” she strutted.

“Want makes you do stupid things!”

She laughed at that and said, “We’ll be in touch. Meet me by the fence later.”

I could not hide my emotions. I jumped with joy and could not wait for later. Harry began teasing me on the way back home.

***

Bella was quite intelligent and in control. She somehow was more mature than I, something the humans had in common with us dogs, the women seemed to be more mature. But I didn’t care, I was going to make her my bitch.

Later that evening, as decided, I ran towards the fence and called out to her. She arrived sometime later. We spoke through the gaps of the picket fence. Her real name was Emma. She too came from a barn not so different from mine. She lived a good life as well. I told her about my humans and Harry. She seemed happy to hear about Harry and mentioned that he seemed sweet. I concurred.

She had two humans, old and retired. They were kind but tired most of the times. So, Bella had a lot of free time. We spoke for a while, then it was time for us to get back to our jobs. We decided to meet the next day in the afternoon, right before naptime.

We instantly hit it off and kept meeting every day. Our loneliness might have played a role in that as well. But I didn’t care. I was lovestruck, blinded, oblivious to reality. Bella was not. She was grounded and in touch with the real world.

“You know this cannot go any further, right Steve?” she once said to me.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, to begin with, we are of different breeds. The humans would not allow us to mate. Secondly, it is too big a risk since we could lose our jobs, our livelihood! We cannot be stupid!”

There was truth in what she said but I did not want to hear it. Who were the humans to decide who we mated with or fell in love with? I wanted to be a rebel, risk it all for Bella! My sweet Bella! After all, what is true love if not suffering and hardship?

I tried convincing her each day. She would hear me out and then politely reject my proposal. We both knew we were in love. Only I admitted to it. She would spend time with me each day. She loved it; I could tell. Then she would get back to reality and politely leave, only to meet again.

Over time, we had loosened up a board of the fence to cross over. One afternoon, I invited Bella to join me for a nap under the wise tree. She agreed. While we laid under the tree, looking up at the branches and swaying leaves, I told her the story of my father, the prince I never met.

“My naïve Steve!” she said, “Don’t you realise your story is going to be the same?”

That hit me hard. “Why should it be the same? We could run away! We could be the outliers! Have our own family and live on our own terms! We could change our destiny, Bella!” I tried.

“Who is going to feed the babies? You cannot be so pup-like all the time. We have been blessed with good humans and a comfortable life. We cannot through that away. We must do our jobs well and secure our future. The real world outside is harsh and dangerous.”

“What good is a comfortable life with food and shelter if you’re not happy? Is it worth giving up on love for such a life?”

Bella did not respond to that. She just gazed up at the sky through the leaves. I did not disturb her and fell asleep by her side.

***

A few years passed by in this routine. I had learned more about the humans and their fickle minds. Driven by various forms of anxiety, they did silly things for want of sillier things. Bella and I had become inseparable albeit platonically. I still had hope. I wanted her to have my babies.

But hope too is a fickle mistress. One day, I heard Bella screaming my name while I was strolling in my garden. I ran towards the fence, worried. What I saw and heard after that, changed my life forever.

“Steve! I don’t want to! I love you! I truly do! I am sorry I never told you before!” Bella cried for help.

She was going to be mated with a dog of her breed. Their respective humans had come to an agreement and that was the day the dog was brought to her home for mating. I stood there, helpless and barking and howling. I could not bear it. I broke down the loose fence board and charged towards them. I tried to fight off the other dog but to no avail. The humans took me aside and called up the maid to take me back.

I could hear Bella howl in the background, her voice fading as they dragged me away. I tried hard to escape the leash, but it was too strong. I barked and howled as the maid dragged me in to the house. I was locked up in my den for the remainder of the day.

Bella never met me after that. Perhaps she felt guilty. But she was not at fault, she should have known I would believe her for our love wasn’t fickle. I guess that is the reason why she could never face me again or look me in the eye. I tried speaking to her, but she had just become lifeless.

I became bitter and angry after that. The trainer blamed it on my hormones and suggested I be mated. That made me livid. These dumb humans, who did they think they were playing with our lives like that?

I should have known better. I had no choice. My fate had already been written.

I was taken to a barn for mating. I did not want to, I had to. Once the deed was done, I was brought back home. Life had come full circle. I had become the prince I always dreamt of becoming, like my father.

I was filled with rage and sadness. I began snapping at my humans and acting out. I had forgotten my job. I had lost control. Harry no longer wanted to play with me since I was not cute and friendly anymore. His parents never thought much about me anyway. Bella was gone from my life. The other dogs would whisper as I walked by during my walks. I knew they would all gossip about me, Steve! The fool who believed he could change his fate!

The humans dealt with my misbehaviour and rage for about a year after which they lost their patience. They took me to a vet and had me neutered. Ever since, I am just carrying on, day by day, lifeless and old – waiting to die.

Harry is a teenager now with the world barely starting to get to him while I lay in the back yard having gone through the entire circus of life. I guess that is why they call it dog years. Life just happens faster for us.

As I sit here telling my life story, under the wise tree, I cannot help but wonder what fate my kids might have! Would they end up like me? I certainly wish not. But who am I to wish for anything? Nothing is in my control. I have a lot of time these days to sit and think and I wonder if this is what happened to my father as well?

Such is life, fair and unfair. I guess it all boils down to perception. I had wished to be a prince and I got what I had wished for. Who is to blame? I wonder what Bella would have to say. But I know this bitter old fool will never know! At least I lived to tell my tale,

Steve… The fool who tried…

By Pranav Rao