Soul Searching

By Arnav Kulkarni

I’m a chameleon, my colors change

Been walking on eggshells all my life

You’ll never see a person with so much range

Always walking on the edge of a knife

Looking at a mirror, but its feels broken

Can’t recognize the person staring back at me

Broken shards show a past self, now forgotten

Like foam, I disappear into the sea

A sea of delusion, my truth a smear

The person you see, is never who I am

Unconsciously push away, the people I hold dear

My shell always closes, like a scared clam

Like a clam I have issues of trust

Surrounded by others, yet so alone

Ignored and shunned, like unwanted dust

No one sees how much I’ve grown

Growing up, with no place to lay my roots

No time for connecting or developing offshoots

I’m a nomad, I’ve never stayed in the same place

That’s why I can’t stare, it’s always just a gaze

A gaze of longing, searching for relief

Someone who’ll finally make me feel sane

In this thorny forest, I’m a lone leaf

Feel like an outsider, others stare with disdain

  I’m a chameleon, you only see what I show

I’m much more complicated, than you’d ever believe

Always judged by people, who never truly know

That this smile is a mask, hiding years of grief

By Arnav Kulkarni