Sophia, My Love

By Kristof Gregor

It's been years and you are ever present in my life

   As you've always been, though for long unseen

   As I hope you'll stay to be

I've come to know you

   Barely

   As if you were my wife, but only when my eyes close

An enigma or a question

   A quest for ur-perception and

   The idea behind ideas

You come and you go

   Show yourself in the deepest nooks and

   The shallowest crannies

I cannot begin to say I grasp

   Even what you mean to mean

   Still, it's you that always seems to know better

This world and so much more

   Subjugated to you who are

   A creation from within itself

Even if I scarcely understand

   Through you I shiver at the core

   When I know that which I think has been thought

In you it has been alive

   A day or a millennium before

   All the lovers that have fought for you, they know

I’d like to think they all wanted me to see (I’m like that)

   Just what they had to show

   What their world depicted imperatively

But it's a million worlds and it's one

   It's what you predicted

   It's what you have asked

In this manifold space I find love

   The pain of difference and…

   The path to indifferent cadence with a rhythm

The world stops for no one and neither do you

   Nor should you, for that matter

   For to understand even a simple matter, one must love

Understanding of understanding

   Is there any simpler

   And yet it's the lack thereof that is to be understood

To love is not to fear

   The void stares at you not in malice, but

   Rather it is a question hoping to be asked

Through you it comes in existence to dictate the past

   And reminisce about the future

   Never is it forceful, don't think I harbor feelings

I am a poor fool, hope not otherwise

   Otherwise I couldn't get to know you and…

   Couldn't fall in love

Love is a foolish thing!

   Though calling it a thing is just as foolish

   As the thing itself, don't you think?

In the blink of an eye

   I unfold a thousand paths all leading to one

   Nowhere, that is the cross and the crux

On it I shall be crucified

   But only after I carry it up the mountain

   The one only a fool can find

I've asked myself uncountable times

   Can I live with the questions and the pains that

   Not having answers ascertains 

And when I'm up there barely holding to life by a string

   Will I still think all the cries were well worth?

   Will I look at the questions with apologetic affection?

Will my life have been anything but a Via Dolorosa

   Life lived and felled in love with the void

   Trying to come up with answers thought and said?

Answers that will only show I could never comprehend

   Not after a lifetime or two or nine

   That you are not to be answered but asked 

Sophia, my love

   Will it all prove right and righteous?

   To move only for the sake of not kneeling in place?

   To look only for the sake of not being blind?

   To think only for the sake of not being lost?

   To surrender satisfaction for an ideal of an idea?

I must think you like these questions

   They are, after all, just like you

   Asked out of love and answered both never and already 

By Kristof Gregor