Sodden

By Ashton Hope

the voyage still remains

my biggest accomplishment

and biggest failure.

the waves crashed onto the beaten ship

and the clouds coiled and unfurled

a dark shade of grey -

the water pouring down and into the underway.

but i held on.

i held on despite what you would say.

you’d say i abandoned the ship

but i was going down with it.

you called me a coward

but i was there to watch our home

sink into the ocean

going down, down, down

till it had no hopes of ever being discovered.

i kept screaming.

i kept screaming for you to get help,

my knuckles white from gripping to your resentment

but where were you?

where were you, my love?

you were sitting on the ledge,

feet dipping in the whirlpool -

too high up in your head

to listen to me.

to anyone.

i begged and begged and begged

but you just sat there.

watching.

How much sadness could I bear, my love?

How much tragedy could I live through?

my hand slipped.

i couldn’t breathe,

and by the time i could,

I couldn't see the deck.

I couldn't see anything.

I couldn't see him.

But I did it.

I did it. I let go.

I saved myself, but I couldn't save him.

I killed him.

i tried, i really did

but he didn’t want to be.

So I let him go…

I let myself go.

i won’t be climbing any ships ever again,

this one will forever be treasured.

it’ll be mine to tell,

and i promise to depict

him as he had ought to be

and not as he was.

By Ashton Hope