Silence and Solitude: My Journey

By Niharika Srikiran

The deafening silence pierced my ears, like the thousands of tiny arrows that pierced Gulliver. I had never been here before. It was astounding how much I did not know. The emptiness and ubiquity of the still air were ominous. There was nothing except for myself. The real me. The raw me. The version of me that was exposed and vulnerable without the hue and cry of the rest of the world. It was just me.

I was able to dip my toe into the sea of feelings inside of me that were left neglected. Why were they neglected? I believe it was because I was too attached to the outside world. I was too busy laughing and crying over comparatively silly and mundane things. I did not prioritise what really mattered. I did not pay attention to the thoughts that would really define me as a human being. I did not ponder over the answers to questions that irked and continuously travelled through my brain. 

But I now could. How could I not? The eerie stillness brought out something in me that I knew I would never feel around a fellow human being. I found myself hurtling towards a session of deep contemplation and debilitation. I had unleashed a curious beast from within myself. And she needed answers. 

I thought a lot about everything that night. About myself, about the universe and about life. I thought about hope, trust, faith, and fate. I pondered over what it means to be happy. I thought about the phenomenon of dreaming. I tried to understand what death was. I wondered about heaven and hell. I thought about the art of living.

As my train of thought chugged along from one idea to another, passing curious revelations and theories that stirred deeper questions in me, I began to understand what stillness and silence offer. I realised that many important thoughts had been shunned by the commotion of daily life. The world keeps spinning and people carry on with their lives but has anyone ever stopped and thought?

I did just that last night, and I found myself in the silence.

By Niharika Srikiran