Shattered

By Yarely Lopez

Shattered

I am shattered.

Not broken or cracked

Crushed or severed

I am shattered.

I'm the type of shattered that will appear as sparkles until I’ve completely - lacerated your hands.

Yet it appears you only get cut when you forget it was you who broke the glass

They say the shattering of a heart is the loudest silence ever.

Yet the screaming pleas that my heart stop beating Deafened my ears the more …they started to come true.

I was told before I fell, that I have a heart of gold.

But gold doesn’t go through pain

Gold weighs heavier than glass, explaining the weight that I sustain.

^

I am subjected to my everlasting love

Because my love runs deep 

And my knowledge runs the other away.

So pain is the consequence that I reap 

Now you regret not caring?

Suddenly feel my pain too?

You stepped on my broken glass

And now you’re bleeding through your shoe?

^

It seems you only care after the pain comes back to YOU.

It’s too late, I am shattered - 

Broken beyond repair 

Glueing pieces back together 

Won’t fix your twisted stare

Looking at me

You’ll see pain 

Masked by beauty in some ways

You won’t see soil erosion 

You will see withered bouquets

My problem wasn’t my beginning

It was the start with you

I died a little more each day

Just for your words not to be true

Your words seemed so perfect

But things weren’t as they seemed

Words that pulled me into a land

That only exists in lucid dreams.

I mean, 

Its like I didn’t warn you

Like I didn’t give you signs

Like you didn’t see the tears 

As they filled my puffy eyes

I can quote what I had said

As my shattering began.

“You have a fraction of a second 

So catch me if you can.”

^^^

You could’ve, but you didn’t 

I accept, your indifference

So my fragments aren’t yours

Because now you lost your privilege

^^ I’m vulnerable, I’m weak

I am broken to the core

Every piece that was part of me

Is now dismembered on this floor.

^^

Scars show the world the battle, 

this battle I haven’t won

I was broken before I fell.

That is the consequence of love

^

Focused on my heart, I didn’t know my rib cage cracked

The layers made to protect me, also shattered in the act

^

My blood vessels punctured with pain.

My arteries, my veins…

Every part of me bled out..

And shards are what remain.

The cracks in glass spread at a speed of 3,000 miles per hour.

Now imagine that but a human heart.

  That is me.

I am she.

I am shattered glass.

By Yarely Lopez