Shadows of Obsession

By Pratishtha Kumari

I will behave like paradoxical,

Loving and hating the same person at the same time.

I will accept their thoughts, yet reject them too,

Agree to their suggestions, yet disagree in the same breath.

I want them to always stick to my ideas,

To love and accept me, even when I am wrong.

I want them near, always,

Never wandering, never free,

For if I become obsessed,

Even a word with another feels like betrayal.

Jealousy rises like storm clouds,

I will want things my way,

They must see the world as I do,

Agree to my points, or be lost to my eyes.

I split the world in black and white,

Idealizing, devaluing, shifting shapes of love.

Projection whispers my fears onto them,

Denial shields me from truths I cannot face.

And in the quiet chaos of my heart,

Acting out becomes the language of my pain.

By Pratishtha Kumari