Reality

By Saraswati Varma

I just can’t seem to find that one piece of the puzzle. It’s 2am and I am trying my best to close my eyes on this harsh universe. My breath is shivering knowing that I have nothing to give to reality.

~

I saw the scenery go blurry as I was wishing for you to know at least some golden words. Maybe I am waiting for something or someone beautiful to come into my life who got lost somewhere in the middle just like me. I thought you were going to be the whole book when you were just a chapter. I love how you could turn a casual conversation into a nightmare and how my heart sinks just by seeing the spelling of your name. Well, you did crack the way to my heart.

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I am either betraying myself or everyone else. Constantly trying to hide my smiles from the people who I have shared my fears with and shed my tears with. I didn’t keep the friends or the promise I had kept from when I was five. It seems as if I am loving just to run from this excruciating pain. The same love that carries a feeling of guilt of not being able to cope in a relationship. It’s easy to escape the real world but so difficult to find the way back. Are my problems even justified as one?

~

Even if I am just clumsily organized, I love that a smile of some wonderful memories can mask a frowning face, that just by seeing you once, the tunes of La Vie En Rose fill my ears and I realize that all I want is to be the reflection of the qualities I adore the most in the people I adore the most.

I guess I am just a simple girl with complex feelings.

By Saraswati Varma